I'd love to think that after one reject her guy friend, that their friendship will still persevere. However i know of a few case when the friendships fade after one rejected. Maybe its the hurt to keep on being friends with someone you love that cause them to not being friends anymore. But no one can be sure that the relationship will last, not even if the guy promise to love her forever. Nope. Sometimes its just fated to not last too long. So many girls and guys alike are worried that if they accept his/her, that their friendships will be lost forever too if anything happens.
I have had times when i felt this way too. In fact, my first serious boyfriend was my very good friend. I had thought about that too. BUt somehow love has made me to risk everything even my heart to try to go into a relationship with him. And after half a year, our relationship deteiorated and ended. So did our friendship. It was the most painful period of my life even though it was I who broke up with him, but i still loved him alot.
Nevertheless i had given up him for his own sake of happiness. I know his heart was no longer with me but with another. I had retreated to let him have his own happiness. I wasn't sure if the girl could make him happy but i know that the relationship wasn't working out. So instead of making each other more miserable, i chose to leave. And with that, we lost touch with each other and were no longer good friends. Sometimes i wished he was still my good friend. I missed talking to him more than anything.
Now that months had passed, the pain in me has faded into numbness and i had accepted that it isn't any good to hold on to the past. I tried to love another, but my heart's too hurt to do that. My second boyfriend i wasn't very serious about him. I couldn't love him, sure i cared about him, but i just couldn't feel anything more than like. LUckily he also wanted to remain just friends. I was so afraid to hurt him. After that relationship, i told myself i won't get into another just because i want someone to be with me. I want to be able to love him before i get into another relationship with him. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.
Yes. Its better to have loved and lost rather than never love. But Once hurt, twice numb. I don't know if its i can't love or i don't dare to love, what i know is i don't want love now. I'm confused enough without more complications.
If only i could find my soulmate, One who can understand me completely, love me for what i am, be with me through lifetimes, love me unconditionally and care for me. One who i can love, understand fully and be with forever and ever. One who can be my playmate, my partner and my lover.
The ideal One. But it's really hard to find one in this big big world. Chemistry just can't be forced and understanding just can't be done so easily. Love's the hardest thing to do when you are hurt. When you feel that you are so tired of being hurt and being unappreciated, you just feel like giving it up.
I hate my love life. I HATE IT SO. I rather be single than be attached now. I thought i had let go of my past but i haven't. I still want to cry when i think of HIM. * Sighhh* But I'll survive....
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