The alarm clock blared from the night table alerting Hayden to his 5:00am call time. He opened his eyes and all of the despondent feelings flooded his thoughts. His mind kept replaying what had happened with Tricia over and over again.
Way to go, he thought to himself. Way to screw up things for yourself once again....
Hayden was even more confused about everything. He had thought that perhaps if he let Tricia go, if would give him the space to understand his feelings for Natalie...but that hadn't been the case. All he could think about was Tricia.
Hayden sat up, leaning over the edge of the bed and rubbing his eyes. He had about fifteen minutes until the transpo van would pick him and Ewan up.
Today was the big day -- the day they would be shooting the majority of angles for their big duel. The climax of the entire film- and a scene proceeding in which he would have to scream at Natalie (Padme), claiming that she was a liar who had betrayed him.
Hayden pulled a t-shirt over his head and grabbed a pair of jeans from the closet. He went into the kitchen to grab a bagel when he heard a knock on the kitchen door.
"Morning," a sleepy Ewan was standing at the door as Hayden opened it.
"Good morning," Hayden replied.
Ewan walked into the kitchen, "I thought I would come and talk to you before transpo got here since we can't really talk in front of all those guys."
"Ewan, man...its way too early for this and you are way too interested in all of this drama" Hayden said.
"Come on man!" Ewan replied. "You're leaving me in a ridiculous amount of suspense! I'm married with kids, I live vicariously through you at this point! Which one is it going to be?'
Hayden rolled his eyes. "Well, its looking like I'm going to get what I deserve on this one...I'm going to end up alone."
Ewan's jaw dropped, "what? what are you talking about?" he then realized that he had raised his voice. "Ohh...sorry, I shouldn't speak so loudly...don't want to wake up Tricia."
"She's not here," Hayden replied quickly. "She left yesterday. She broke up with me and left."
Ewan's eyes widened. "What?!! This happened yesterday and you didn't say a word to me?!"
"I didn't want to talk about it. The truth is....she overheard me blow up at Natalie over Gael in the hallway at the studio and put two and two together."
Ewan shook his head, "good god Hayden..." was all he could manage to say.
"I know, like I said, I'm getting what I deserve on this one...."
"Well, you're not going to want to hear this...but maybe its for the best," Ewan responded.
Hayden looked up at him, "what does that mean?"
"It means that its not really fair for you to be with Tricia when you still carry feelings for another woman. It's almost better to let her go rather make her feel like a second choice."
Hayden nodded. He knew Ewan was right.
"I just miss her."
"Of course you miss her, you care about her," Ewan said. "...but your feelings for Natalie have managed to be stronger than your feelings for Tricia or this would have never happened."
"So what do I do now?" Hayden asked.
"You need to talk to Natalie....be straightforward with her."
"Uh..yeah, I suppose you want me to tell her while her boyfriend is standing there," Hayden said sarcastically.
"Gael is not her boyfriend...he's just here as a ploy to make you jealous," Ewan said.
"Oh yeah?...and how do you know that?" Hayden asked.
"....because she told me," Ewan said.
It was Hayden's turn to be shocked,"what?"
"Natalie confided in me that she had merely asked Gael to come visit with the understanding that they were friends - no expectations of anything more.....she needed to see how you truly felt about her since she can never really get you to be completely honest with her...she knew that bringing someone else here would tell her what she needed to know, just by the way you acted. I think you gave her your answer yesterday."
"See...that's exactly the type of bullshit I'm talking about though...more games!" Hayden said angrily. "I'm done with games!"
"Perhaps it was the only way to get a true response from you though," Ewan responded calmly. "She was merely going to gauge your reaction...and she would absolutely kill me if she knew that I was telling you this."
Hayden closed his eyes. What a mess.
Despite the mess- despite all that had happened, he knew what he had to do, for better or for worse.