"...You're....you're asking me to move in with you?"
Hayden squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled a deep breath he hadn't been aware he was holding.
"Yes....that's what I'm asking."
"Hayden....I don't know."
Hayden shook his head, "I know....its still kind of early to take such a big step -- but I'm ready for it, I know that....the question is, are you?"
"I don't know," Cara found herself blurt out.
Even from the other end of the phone, Hayden was taken aback.
"Oh," was all he could think to say.
"I do want to...I really do....such a big move though, it just sort of scares me....not to mention, I kind of moved here with Steph....it wouldn't entirely be fair to just bail on her this quickly."
Hayden nodded in understanding -- Cara was being realistic, he couldn't fault her for that.
"No pressure, alright? We don't have to talk about it anymore for now..." Hayden replied, suddenly in the mood to talk about something else.
Cara could hear the change of his tone and complied with his request.
The two discussed more of what had been happening at Forest Park and talked about their plans for the weekend. The co-habitation issue was tabled for the time being.
~~~~
The next evening
"You did what?!" Tove asked in exasperation.
Hayden rolled his eyes, "I told her of my plans to buy a house and asked her to live there with me."
It was Tove's turn to roll his eyes. "Listen, Cara's great -- she's awesome -- but....let's be realistic here....you've never been able to keep a relationship together for more than a few months at a time....the idea of you living with a girlfriend is just ludicrous."
"Thanks for your support and confidence in me," Hayden said, his tone thick with sarcasm.
"It's nothing against you little brother," Tove said. "I've just watched you running and screaming from the slightest mention of a serious relationship with a woman, now you want to go and live with one?"
"Things are different with her," Hayden said. "I don't want anyone else -- the desire to be with other women...its just not there anymore."
"Well that's all fine and good that its not there, right now," Tove said. "....but what happens if you wake up one day when this whole infatuation stage has passed, and you really don't want to be with her anymore....the poor girl would probably be so messed up, she wouldn't want to work at Forest Park and so she'd be homeless and jobless."
Hayden gaped at Tove, "...What?? Tove, what the hell are you talking about? That's jumping a little further to conclusions and drama that isn't even there...you're just creating sh** now."
"Well, okay, that is a worst case scenario....but let's face it, you know I'm right about the fact that this is still a new relationship -- the two of you should take a year, see where you are and then go from there," Tove said.
"Thank you Dr. Phil," Hayden said wryly. "...but need I remind you, Cara didn't actually agree to live with me anyway, which makes this whole conversation irrelevant, not to mention completely stupid."
Tove shrugged, "I'm just trying to show you sides of things that you don't necessarily think about....you're too closely involved to see the big picture."
Hayden shrugged and smiled, "must you always be the voice of reason, its a real pain in my a**."
Tove grinned, "Somebody has to."
~~~~
"He asked you to live with him?!" Steph squealed.
Cara nodded weakly.
"....and you said no?! Are you completely out of your mind?!" Steph squealed again.
"I'm trying to keep a level head about all of this," Cara said.
"There you go again -- typical Cara....you never want to take a chance on anything do you?" Steph asked.
Cara pursed her lips, a little miffed that Steph would say that. "Well...let's see--I'm not always that 'typical' even though you like to say so....after all, if I had been so afraid to branch out, I probably would have never met Hayden, would I?"
"Exactly! That's my point!! You branched out, took a chance, and look what you got out of it?" Steph said.
Cara was silent a moment -- Steph had a point.
Cara couldn't help it -- it wasn't in her nature to rush into things....she was always the one poring over something and analyzing situations to death.
"I would stand to lose a lot if I moved in with him and things didn't work out," Cara spoke up after a second.
"Yes, you would....but that's life Cara," Steph said. "There are no guarantees -- but the question is, are you going to let all of the 'what ifs' in life hold you back from what could really work out to be something even more signficant??....I mean look at married couples - they could all avoid marriage on the chance their's wouldn't work out....but people still get married - they still take that chance," Steph reasoned. "Sometimes you just have to have a little faith."
Cara nodded.
"Unless, you truly don't want to move in with him - then that's another thing entirely....if that's the case, you can't help how you feel, albeit ridiculous and crazy," Steph said.
Cara rolled her eyes. "No...its honestly something I would consider very seriously."
Steph shook her head, "well all of that 'considering' will probably talk you right out of it -- you know why you and Hayden ended up together?"
Cara shrugged.
"...because from that first night on, neither of you really had to 'think' about it- it just happened."
Cara's hand shook as she grabbed her cell phone and dialed.
"Hey its me," she smiled when the voice answered.
"....that whole thing that we weren't going to talk about anymore??....I'd like to talk about it again....because I think I want to do it."