Cara stepped into the bathroom stall and couldn't stop the tears that were quickly spilling from her eyes.
That morning, she had come to work as usual and Melissa had been pretty nice although she refrained from the normal small talk....several others had passed through the office with only small requests and virtually no conversation....Cara couldn't help the overwhelming feeling that people knew what was going on and were enjoying discussing it behind her back.
Conversations would stop mid-sentence when she entered the breakroom and people would give her sidelong glances and smiles that were clearly displayed to cover up something.
Get a grip, you're just being paranoid, Cara had tried to convince herself.
However, by mid-morning, she knew things weren't right when Tove asked to speak with her in his office. He'd heard some of the word around the office of Hayden and Cara -- talk that had instigated all sorts of theories and assumptions.
"It's office politics, plain and simple," Tove had said to her in a comforting tone. "As I'm sure you're aware, it happens everywhere to everyone at one time or another...I'm taking steps to see that its stopped immediately..."
Cara looked from the ground up at Tove. "So what can I do? I mean, its painfully obvious now that people are aware of my private life....but instead of just asking me about it, people are choosing to act like I'm a train wreck - they want to stop and stare and make assumptions but they don't want to ask me to my face."
Tove sighed, "I know...this is what Hayden's been dealing with for years."
"Well, I didn't ask for this," Cara retorted and quickly looked at Tove. "I'm sorry....that came out much harsher than I intended...."
"It's okay...It's very frustrating, I'm sure. I've seen it from several sides and the situation sucks, completely.....I wish there was something I could do to make this easier because you're right, you didn't ask for this....it just happened. It's an unfortunate downside to Hayden's high profile status---all I can say is that this will die down..."
"I just don't want people forming opinions and making snap judgments about me now," Cara replied. "People are just going to think I'm some small town gold digger who came here to date a celebrity...and that's not how it is, not by a long shot."
"I know that and Hayden knows that," Tove said. "As for the rest of them....if they think that about you after having gotten to know you, then f&*^ 'em."
Cara managed to smile weakly.
Tove meant well - but it just didn't change things. It didn't change what some people would inevitably think about her --
Cara had always wanted to be the person who didn't care what other people thought about her...but sadly she wasn't. Despite her strength and independence, she'd been the girl who had lost sleep at night with worries if the girl in her class didn't appear to like her.
~~~
"Hey babe," Hayden said during one of their nightly phone calls.
"Hey," Cara replied in a strained voice that Hayden noticed immediately.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"I'm just dealing with some things," Cara said. She didn't want to bother him with all of the office antics that were going on - she knew that he would feel bad about it and being so far away, there was no need to add to the things on his mind.
"Just a bad day at work," Cara said.
"Tove told me what was going on," Hayden said in a firm tone.
Damn.
"Oh yeah?" Cara asked.
"Yeah, and I oughta fire all of them!" Hayden said angrily.
Cara closed her eyes. "No...don't be angry...they are just running with information-- its human nature to do that."
"That doesn't excuse it," Hayden said. "I have enough bulls&^% to deal with in the media and tabloid hell, damned if I'm going to allow it to go on in my own company!"
"Hayden...you could fire these people and hire new ones and chances are, the same thing would happen all over again....its office politics -it sucks and its uncomfortable...but I'm an adult and I can handle it."
"It just scares me," Hayden blurted out.
"Scares you?? Why would it scare you?" Cara asked.
"...because what if it comes to a point that its just not worth it for you anymore? I mean, being with me....that's what is causing all of this...." Cara could hear the hesitation and the fear in Hayden's tone.
"This is not going to make me want to break up with you," Cara said. "I care about you way too much to let this get in the way of what we have...."
"I hope so," Hayden said. "....because there was something I wanted to talk about with you when I get back tomorrow." Hayden fiddled with the telephone cord on his hotel phone. He took a deep breath -- this was something he'd never done before. Completely unfamiliar territory that was both exhilarating and frightening.
"What is it?"
"I think its time that I got my own place in L.A.," Hayden began. "Tove and I have lived together way too long...besides, I am tired of renting. I want to actually buy a house to call my own...."
"Yeah, I can see how you would want to do that since you're pretty much based here now," Cara said.
Hayden closed his eyes and opened them again, knowing he was going to say words that would change life as he knew it-- "I want to buy a house and I want you to live there with me....