We got to the restaurant a short time later.
"I really don't feel good about any of this -- I should probably have just stayed home," I said.
"Don't be silly -- you don't need to sit at home and wax poetic over what a jerk Aaron is....just relax-- have a good time tonight, it will be fine," Mandy reassured me.
I knew she was just being polite because anyone could tell that this was not a desirable situation to be in....by all accounts.
We walked through the crowded restaurant and bar to a table near the back where Josh told Mandy they would be.
Josh and Diane greeted us warmly. Hayden and I only exchanged a minimal glance and Katherine was icy at best.
We sat down at the table and I proceeded to quickly order a Long Island Iced Tea.
Josh's eyes widened, "Uh oh -- she means business, huh?"
The group laughed and Hayden avoided my eyes.
Maybe I was a coward, but this wasn't easy for me at all -- I felt like a bad person...even if they weren't together officially, the girl was still staying here at his place, under the pretense that they were going to once again be a couple.
For the next half hour, everyone made small talk while I managed to avoid any conversations with Hayden or Katherine.
After awhile, the live band's set of fast music had toned down to play a slow tune from the stage in front of the small dance floor.
"Hayden, dance with me," Katherine said a moment later, draping her arms over his shoulders clearly showing she'd had a bit to drink as well.
Hayden clearly looked uncomfortable, "maybe in a little while..."
"C'mon, please?" her voice turned into a whine.
Mandy looked at me -- was it possible that this girl actually didn't realize how whiny and spoiled she was?
Hayden sighed, standing up from the table. "Alright, let's go."
Katherine grinned, grabbing his hand and leading him to the small dance floor.
"He looks miserable!" Josh couldn't help but laugh once they'd left the table.
"It's embarassing, what's wrong with that girl?" Mandy commented.
I drank down the majority of my Long Island Iced Tea and turned to see Katherine practically wrapping her entire body around Hayden's.
Even if it didn't mean anything, just the sight of it made me sick so I turned back around to face the group.
Josh caught my eye and smiled. "Don't drink too fast there, that's really hard stuff."
"I need some hard liquor right now," I replied, taking another long drink. Of course, getting drunk was never the way to handle any problem because it actually never solved anything -- I just felt like I could relax a bit after the stressful work week, not to mention the 24 hour emotional rollercoaster I had been and was on at the moment.
At that moment, a tall, very attractive man with dark hair and piercing blue eyes, who looked to be in his late twenties approached the table.
"Excuse me, would you like to dance?" he looked at me with a smile.
In my current state, I figured why not? If anything, it was very flattering to be singled out by someone who didn't know me.
I looked at Mandy who half smiled.
"Alright," I said, accepting his arm as he ushered me to the dancefloor where the other couples were dancing.
Hayden did a double take from his position on the floor, practically holding Katherine up at this point.
"I'm Jeffrey," the man said as we began to dance.
I introduced myself and we talked briefly.
I looked over to see Hayden watching me - I couldn't read his expression. I turned my attention back to Jeffrey. We talked and danced and laughed. He was a very nice guy.
Soon, the music ended and we all applauded.
I walked back to the table where Hayden had already set Katherine back down in one of the chairs. She was actually at her friendliest when she was drunk and she proceeded to engage in conversation with Josh about her travels to Italy.
I stood up and excused myself to the restroom.
I could hear footsteps behind me as Hayden was on my heels once we'd reached the corridors in the back.
He reached for my arm and turned me around, "I'm sorry -- I know this is weird..."
"Hayden -- you haven't told her yet....I understand....I'm not holding you to anything, alright?" I replied.
Hayden looked taken aback, "Do you regret what happened between us?"
I sighed, "no-- but I am beginning to wonder if its all just too much to handle for the both of us..."
Hayden looked at the ground, "so...what are you saying?"
"I don't know," I said, defeated.
I really didn't know -- he had me completely dumbfounded. Would I have ever been able to predict that I would even be thinking about another guy, much less falling for someone so quickly after Aaron betrayed me? Definitely not -- but life has a way of surprising you.
Hayden stepped closer to me, "who is that guy you were dancing with before?"
"Just a guy who asked me to dance," I replied.
Hayden nodded, "I was just curious -- "
"Yeah, he just asked me to dance and I figured why not -- something simple among all of the confusion," I said.
"I don't think you're really that confused about anything-- I think you know what you want....because I know what I want," Hayden stepped even closer. His breath warmed my face. We stood there inches apart, looking into each other's eyes.
"I thought things were 'on hold for now?'" I asked, feeling my resolve weakening more by the second.
"Well, I thought it was too...but I've discovered that now that I've kissed you, I can't be around you without wanting to kiss you again," Hayden said, his voice deep and even.
I took a deep breath, trying to hold back. I really did try -- I thought it would only be fair to remain strong until everything was resolved.....but desire won out over rationale.
Hayden leaned in and I returned his kiss with full force.
There we were, in the very corridor where we'd first made conversation -- and it seemed like a lifetime ago because so many things were different now.
Hayden deepened the kiss and I could feel him getting more aggressive by the second.
I pulled away, "we have to stop -- seriously....this isn't right...."
Hayden exhaled deeply, "I know -- you're right....I have to end it with her -- I have to do it tonight."
I remained silent.
We looked at each other a moment longer until Hayden turned, let go of my hand and walked back through the restaurant to the table.
I waited a moment so not to appear obvious to the people who were apparently aware of current situation, courtesy of Mandy.
I returned to the table as Hayden was paying his tab and telling Katherine that it was time to leave.
Hayden said his goodbyes to everyone and gave me a knowing look as he exited the restaurant with Katherine leading the way.
I couldn't help but feel odd about everything -- I felt like I was the other woman, meeting for secret trysts while he left with another. I knew it wasn't really as tempestuous as that and things would be different very soon -- things would be over between them.
~~~~
Hayden
Hayden and Katherine drove back to the townhouse in silence.
It was when Hayden was trying to unlock the door that Katherine snuck up behind him, putting her arms around him.
"Ya know, we never got to make up from last night?" she said with a devilish grin.
Hayden unlocked the door, stepping in quickly and away from her embrace.
"What is this? Why do you always pull away from me?" Katherine said loudly.
Hayden shut his eyes. This sort of thing was never easy for anyone, but it was particularly difficult for someone like him -- he was the introverted peacekeeper who never wanted to make waves.....so breaking up with someone was absolute torture for him, even if he knew it was right.
"Katherine, we need to talk....I've been waiting for a good time - but I realize, there won't ever be a good time..."
Katherine looked at him, waiting.
"I owe you an apology-- because, I had you come out here for very selfish reasons-- my wanting to work things out with you....it wasn't to help us, it was to help me....and its not something I'm proud of...not by a long shot..."
"What? What are you talking about?" Katherine asked him, waiting for his response.
Hayden looked up at her, "I wanted to work things out with you to help me forget what I couldn't have with someone else."
Katherine stiffened, "What did you just say?"
Hayden exhaled deeply, looking ashamed. He closed his eyes for a second and opened them again. "I'm sorry...."
"So, you brought me out here to help you get over someone else....when the hell did you have time to fall for someone else? Unless you were f^%$#@& around on me when we were together?!"
"We were broken up for a couple of months before you came here and I never cheated on you when we were a couple," Hayden said quickly. "This is very recent -- since I've been here in Shreveport."
"You're kidding right?" she snorted.
"No - I'm not..."
Katherine huffed, "So, I was brought here as a jealousy ploy for one of these girls here in po-dunk?!"
Hayden cringing at the piercing tone in her voice, "no - you weren't brought here to make anyone jealous.....and I was hoping that my feelings would go away, but they haven't..."
Katherine stood there, her lips pursed in anger and her eyes giving him an icy glare. "Well, if that's how it is, I need to be going."
"Katherine - I'm sorry..." Hayden said.
"Just don't!" Katherine yelled. "Don't look at me, don't speak to me -- I never want to see you again!"
She stormed back into the room, gathering her belongings and flinging them into her bag.
"What are you doing? It's nearly 1 in the morning," Hayden said.
"I'm leaving," she said in a matter of fact tone.
"C'mon -- please, just get some rest for the night, alright? It's late -- I'm sleeping right here on the couch," Hayden said.
"No! I'm not staying in this house one more minute with you!"
Hayden sighed. Despite his feeling bad for disappointing and angering her, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
He could hear her on her cell phone, calling a taxi to the airport.
"There aren't any flights out until morning," Hayden called. "Just stay in there and get some rest, please? I'll drive you to the airport tomorrow...."
"No, you won't -- I'll walk if I have to!" Katherine yelled from the room.
Hayden exhaled deeply and ran his hands through his hair.
Katherine must have backed down on her mission to leave in the middle of the night because before long, she shut the bedroom door and turned the light off.
Hayden settled into his usual spot on the couch for the night, falling into a deep sleep with thoughts of how things were and how they could be.