Hayden looked at me intently with those deep blue eyes.
"I....things are just so confusing --" I managed to say before trailing off, not sure what I was even going to say next.
Luckily, Hayden understood and nodded.
"Absolutely-- things are kind of complicated right now...for both of us.....I didn't mean to take advantage of the fact that you're upset..."
"No, you didn't -- I think I kind of started this," I said, looking down in a bit of embarassment.
Hayden reached up, touching my hair, "I would've started it if you hadn't..."
I looked back up at him, trying to read his expression.
"I've wanted this for awhile," he said, looking me in the eye. "I just didn't think it was possible -- you were with Aaron...and I'm not someone who goes around trying to f*&^ up people's relationships..."
I nodded -- he had been different than the others after all.
"...but I guess, after what happened tonight....I needed to at least show you that I was interested -- so I wouldn't always be wondering...."
I nodded quietly.
Hayden was quiet for a moment, "....it is over with him? Isn't it?"
I nodded quickly, "Oh yes, definitely...I'm not one to go back to someone who's cheated on me...."
Hayden nodded, "Yeah-- but that's happened to me before so I never make any assumptions...."
"What about Katherine?" I said slowly.
Hayden shook his head, "it was wrong of me to ask her to come here....I feel really bad about it now. I was wanting to move on with my life when I didn't think anything could happen between us -- but even before I found out that you and Aaron had broken up, I knew she and I would never work out..."
We were both silent for a moment.
"So, where do we go from here?" I asked.
Hayden took my hand, lightly grazing his hand over my fingers, "Well, you will get the time you need -- to decide if you want to see where this could go....but whatever you decide, I'm ending things with Katherine, for good."
He moved his hand up to touch my face and I thought he was going to kiss me again, but he didn't. He merely smiled and stood up. I stood up as well.
"I'm going to head back," he said.
I felt a twinge of emptiness at the thought of him leaving and tried to push it away quickly....it was way too soon to get that attached!
He walked to the door and turned to look at me, "Give me a call tomorrow, if you'd like -- maybe we can meet up and talk..."
I nodded again, smiling.
He stood there for a second, like he was hesitating.
Then, he crossed the distance back over to the couch and pulled me in for another kiss.
We kissed for a moment until he pulled away, leaving me breathless.
He smiled at my dazed expression and took my hand, "...this isn't over...its just on hold for now..."
With that said, he turned and walked out the door.
~~~~
Hayden
Hayden crept back into his house as quietly as he could. The lights were off throughout the house except for a dim lamp in the living room.
He walked toward the room, knowing that's where he would be sleeping anyway and was surprised to find Katherine sitting on the couch in her robe, arms folded, waiting for him.
She looked up at him with icy eyes, "Where have you been?"
"I just needed some air," he said.
"Is that what you do when you get into an argument with someone? You just run away?"
Hayden settled into the arm chair by the couch and looked at her, "excuse me -- I didn't run away, I was forced out of my own room, make that 'locked out' of my own room...you clearly didn't want to speak to me so I didn't figure my presence here was necessary..."
"Well, I've cooled down a bit -- come to bed," she said her voice softer now and her eyes displayed a 'come hither' look.
"I think I'm just gonna sleep out here," Hayden sighed, not really making eye contact with her.
"Why? Why would you do that? Everything's okay now --" Katherine replied.
Hayden closed his eyes, leaning his head back on the chair. "Katherine-- let's just talk tomorrow, alright?"
She conceded, unfolding her arms and standing up to lean over him.
Her lips brushed past his ear, "alright -- but I'll leave the door open in case you change your mind."
Hayden merely nodded so that she would leave him alone, knowing full well he wasn't going to change his mind. He was done with all of this -- with her. She was by far, the most narcissistic person he'd ever met -- and he'd thought he had met others before....
He grabbed a pillow and a blanket and settled on the couch with his thoughts drifting back to Laurie as he fell into a deep sleep.
~~~~
The next morning, Mandy made some coffee and I was filling her in on what had happened.
"See?!! I knew it!" Mandy squealed excitedly when I told her how he had kissed me.
"Calm down," I laughed. "We're just taking everything super slow - he's giving me some time to think about everything."
"What's there to think about? He likes you, you like him --" Mandy said quickly.
"Mandy -- I've just come out of a long relationship, yesterday! Don't you think its a little too soon to jump into something?"
"Not if its right," Mandy said. "Besides -- time isn't exactly on your side here...I mean, he'll be leaving in a month or so."
Just like that, I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. Of course, this was something I had thought about before, on several occasions-- but hearing it aloud after what had happened last night was a heavy blow sending me back to the reality of the situation. It also served to remind me that whatever this was, it really couldn't last --
Mandy must have noticed my expression, "I know what you're thinking -- but people can live in different places and make things work...it happens all the time!"
I shook my head, all of this way too much to think about and way too soon.
"I'm just very confused," I said after a moment.
"Just go with your feelings -- always works for me," Mandy grinned.
I rolled my eyes and laughed -- Mandy was anything but shy, that was for sure. She'd been on a string of dinner dates with at least 5 guys since I'd known her -- but she was very picky. She had only let 1 of the 5 even kiss her.
"I'm just saying - maybe everything happens for a reason-- you guys were meant to be here at the same place, at the same time and both single.....speaking of which, is Katherine gone yet?"
I shook my head. "He said he's ending things with her..."
"Good! We can go out and celebrate!" Mandy exclaimed.
"I don't know exactly when she's leaving--" I said slowly.
"I'm sure he will do it right away...it seems like he wants to be done with everything....why would he wait?"
I nodded.
Mandy got on the phone and began inviting people out for the evening for drinks.
She left a message on Hayden's phone since she couldn't reach him.
All in all, Mandy and I agreed to go to McArthurs' around 9- we knew Josh and Diane would be there for sure.
I was busy getting ready when Mandy stepped in to the bathroom.
"Josh just called - he's already there with Diane and Hayden....and Katherine."
I bit my lip - for the first time, I actually felt bad. Even though things weren't working out with this girl, she still apparently cared about Hayden and he clearly hadn't broken it off, whatever 'it' even was....this was getting complicated!
I looked at Mandy's expression, "Are you that surprised she's still here?"
"Aren't you?" Mandy asked.
"Not really -- I mean, ending something isn't the easiest thing to do...and it was never assumed that he ran right home and did it today."
"I assumed that!" Mandy said. "Why prolong the inevitable?? Now we're going to sit there all evening with everyone feeling uncomfortable...."
"I think you're being a little dramatic -- if anyone will feel awkward, it will be and Hayden...."
"Well, the rest of us know what's going on."
I looked at her, "No one else even knows besides-- wait a minute -- who else knows? Who did you tell?"
Mandy got a sheepish look then, "...well, I was talking to Josh and it sort of...slipped out.."
I rolled my eyes - I had a bad feeling about this....
I was preparing to go hang out with a group of friends -- including the guy I was currently interested in and his 'non-girlfriend' -- all in the name of fun...yeah right.