By 12:30AM, Mandy and I were settled on the couch, watching "Duplex." I was wrapped in a huge down comforter that she had pulled out of the closet.
I could hear the rain pounding against the roof.
It had only begun to rain a little while ago but it was a most soothing sound, even with the movie on.
There was a soft knock at the door and Mandy and I turned to look at each other.
A knot formed in my stomach -- Aaron...he must have found me.
Mandy looked at me curiously.
"If that's him...I don't want to see him," I said quietly.
She merely nodded and stood up to walk over to the door.
She looked out through the peephole and then turned to look at me, a look of utter surprise and amusement on her face.
I looked at her confused, "Who is it, Mandy? You wouldn't look so happy if it were Aaron..."
She merely smiled coyly, opening the door.
"Hey," I heard a voice from the doorway but still couldn't see who was standing there.
"Hey!" Mandy said brightly. She stepped back to allow room for the visitor to enter.
My mouth must have gaped open involuntarily -- in walked Hayden, soaked to the bone- his dark green polo shirt clinging to his body and his light khaki pants a darker shade of tan from the dampness.
"Hey," I said, quickly trying to wipe my face with a tissue to catch any makeup that may have run during my crying session.
Hayden looked sheepish, "Hey."
"So, Hayden....what are you doing here?" Mandy asked, with a smile.
Hayden gave a slight smile, "I'm sorry -- I know its late and I should've called to see if it was alright that I come over..."
"No, its fine," Mandy said quickly, returning from the closet with a fresh towel for him to dry off some of the excess water. "I'm just honestly surprised...I mean, where's Katherine?"
Hayden's face turned grim. He only shook his head, "I...really can't even talk about her right now."
Mandy bit her lip to keep from laughing.
She'd known it was only a matter of time -- Hayden couldn't keep lying to himself about Katherine for long.
"I was just out and about and thought I'd stop over to see what you guys were up to," Hayden said, taking a seat on the sofa beside me.
He looked at me for a second and I could tell he noticed my swollen eyes and red nose. He didn't comment on it and I was glad -- but also embarassed....why do I have to look like this in front of Hayden Christensen?!
Hayden sighed loudly, "I must be an idiot....having Katherine come here, thinking things would work out and we would get back together..."
I remained silent, mentally telling him "I told you so!" but not saying a word.
"Do you love her?" Mandy asked.
Hayden sighed and ran his hands through his hair, "I could have loved her --in a different time and different place....if she hadn't turned out to be the way she is -- maybe..."
"Well, that's a lot of 'ifs' to consider so I would take that as a 'no'," Mandy smirked.
"I know -- the truth is, she hasn't changed and she never will," Hayden replied.
Mandy looked at Hayden, "well, people don't change overnight -- especially their personality...it just doesn't happen....some people are just really good at hiding who they really are to make themselves look better."
Hayden nodded again.
The three of us talked more about shooting and getting drinks the next evening -- before long, Mandy announced that she was going to bed.
"I guess I'd better be going," Hayden said softly.
"You don't have to," I found myself saying quickly.
Hayden turned to look at me, trying to read my expression.
"I mean, I'm not tired -- and if you want to talk some more..."
Hayden and I were silent for a few moments until he spoke up.
"I hope you didn't mind my coming over here," he said. "I guess, I just wanted to make sure you were alright -- Mandy was pretty cryptic on the phone before and I was curious."
I nodded, feeling a rush of excitement at the prospect that Hayden had come to see me and to see if I was alright.
"Yeah..its been a rough night....I got a pretty big shock tonight."
I broke down and told him the entire story.
He sat there for a second, stunned.
"What a f^%$#*( bastard," he said after a moment. "How could he do that to you?"
I sighed, "he just wasn't who I thought he was..."
"Yeah, its very deceitful....and unfortunately, I've had more experience with those kind of people than I'd care to mention.....I'm really sorry. You're too sweet of a person to be treated that way, you don't deserve it," Hayden said, looking into my eyes.
I nodded, biting my lip, feeling a swell of tears starting again from mentally reliving the pain of the evening.
Hayden watched me, seeing tears filling my eyes.
Without a moment's hesitation, he pulled me over to him and put his arm around my shoulder as I cried. I sat there for a moment, trying to fight more tears and failing as I laid my head on his shoulder.
He stroked my hair as I cried.
We sat there, just like that in silence for a long time.
He leaned his head on mine and squeezed me a little tighter.
After a moment, I turned to look up at him.
He looked down at me and smiled. I could see the small curls of dirty blonde hair around his ears still damp from the rain. He had been growing his hair out and it was getting shaggy around the edges. I reached up and absentmindedly touched one of the curls.
Hayden's eyes looked up to meet mine, searching my face for an expression to show what I was thinking.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I knew I was being really bold--I reached up again, this time touching his cheek.
His eyes stayed on mine, watching and waiting.
Just then a huge clap of thunder shook the house so violently I nearly jumped up from the couch in surprise. Hayden pulled me tighter to him, not wanting to lose our connection.
Then, it was Hayden's turn to be bold. He took the hand that had been touching his face and kissed it, his eyes never leaving mine.
My heart started to pound as we continued to look at each other.
After a second, he pulled me closer and kissed me.
It was a deep and passionate kiss - the kind of kiss that results from attraction being pent up for too long and finally is broken free....and it seemed to last forever.
After a moment, reality set back in, causing me to pull away.
He looked at me questioningly.
"I'm sorry - I got carried away," I said, looking down.
"That's okay, I did too," Hayden murmured, leaning back in for another kiss.
I leaned back away from him.
Hayden looked at me, this time a little confused.
"I'm can't....I can't do this -- I'm sorry..."