Previous Roleplay's
Bound by the Past; Torn from Glory
Note: Please read Bound by the Past; Torn from Glory (as crappy as it is, and looks) to understand the following RP, and future RP's of the same nature.
Diary Entry #1:
-I feel..numbed.
-I feel..like a rug was pulled out from under me.
-All of this time, I forgot what was important. I always heard people talking about how much I had changed since I came into the wrestling world. They called me a monster, a complete reversal of the "just happy to be here" person I was during my first months in the business.
-Why must I carry this burden?
-I'm a good person, right? I've done numerous terrible, terrible things during my career, I admit. I've alienated my co-workers, my friends, and made it a goal to completely eliminate anyone who cursed my name. A childlike reaction to a business who's very core is propping yourself up by downing others. I should of realized long ago that it wasn't personal, it was just the nature of the beast.
-Now look at me. I've lost it all.
-As I write this, I'm being used to push drugs from the man who got me into the wrestling business. I've told everyone from day one, "Things aren't as they seem" when it comes to me. I didn't get myself off the streets, are you kidding me? This..this man..scored my the contract and pushed me into the public eye in return for what I'm doing for him now.
-I'm a fluke.
-There, I said it. A fuckin' fluke. However, one thing was not a fluke. My love, my passion, for wrestling. Now I've lost it and all I have to look back on was how fucked up the fame made me, and all the despicable things I did. The fact that they can overshadow 5 World Titles shows how ungrateful I was. I don't deserve the business. I deserve the icon worship that it gave me.
-I deserve what I've become. A drug pusher.
-My name, THE name that has defined TNT Wrestling, will soon fade away from people lips.
-It's sad really, like I said, I may be a fluke, but I worked my ass off. It's tough to sit here and watch people like Jimmy Vetalo, who've I'm embarrassed every-time we've been in a ring together, than not even I could take them down at this point in the game. There's not backing to that statement.
-That's why I always got along with Eric Baxter. I didn't learn under the man like some, but he kept my head straight when I went into big matches. He's a knowledgeable man and still a superior wrestler. He tells the High Rollers like I told the High Rollers.
"People don't seem to have common sense. I mean what's the sense in lying to ourselves? Jimmy Vetalo lies to himself when he says he's the best that TNT's ever had. So does Mike Madness. Come on guys, that's obviously a lie. Jimmy, you can't handle me, you couldn't handle Fly, you could barely handle Segrada and you can't handle Stone. Vetalo, just because you hold a title doesn't mean that you're any good. Just because people like Ten Minute Major can't touch you doesn't mean you're any good. You've had one of the most uncontested title reign ever, so before you get off with calling your reign so great, just take your opponents into account."
-I can't count how many times I've told them something similar. Our styles are close together, we know how to attack our opponents. We also know that the ability to win a "Grand Slam" only shows that at some point in your career, you were not good enough for the Main Event scene. 5 World titles, like I hold, well overshadows a Grand Slam. Nobody fucking cares about the TV Title, or the Hardcore Title, or any of that shit. It proves nothing.
-Eric will call them on it, like I've done. Everyone else is whipped. If Eric wasn't around, I may go insane listening to those idiots.
-I miss it, man.
-I don't deserve the glory, I admit. But I don't deserve to be dismissed. I did good things here and there. I put TNT on my back more than once. I took over when people couldn't. That was real. What I did as VP and Owner, that's shit man. My mark is on this company today, and will be tomorrow.
-Look at the promos people have done. Nearly every other one speaks my name.
-I miss it man, what more can you say?
-I guess I just sit here..rot..and gradually..forget what I once was.
-What I woudn't do for the opportunity to do it right..to do it myself..to become..great..
-Fly, 4-8-05