August 6th

Life's rolling along slowly but surely. I've chosen a path..Next year i am going to take a course called early childhoold education. and maybe get a job in a daycare or preschool and eventully own my own. im not sure bout that. but i know that im comfortable around kids and their paretns. so i would be good at doing that. Tonight i had quite a scare, i let the puppy out in the backyard..n half an hour later went to get him..he wasn't there. he had gotten out. i ran fast up to hte computer and told everyone id brb. then raced back outside to go look for him. it was dark and windy, cold for the first time in months. and i was barefoot running through the street looking for my puppy. He came wondering outa a neighbours yard..saw me and took off running in the oposite direction. i went after him caling him and asking if he watned treats. i was waking after him trying not to make him think it was game, crying quietly no one was around and it was dark. it took me half an hour and 2 blocks later to catch him. I thanked god as i carryed him home. so that was my scare. Last week i went to a concert, Bif naked..free outdoor concert. Brittin was there playing bass with her, it was awsome. waaaaay to hot thoe, thank GOD for some shade. we were some of the lucky ones who got shade. stnading front row on the right hand side. Lenas in japan for two weeks, but when she gets back we're all htinking of going camping. not desided yet thoe. I went to tina mara for a day..and as i was waking back to the cabin..these hto guys i saw earlier were checking me out. one was in a wheel chair..thoe he was HOOOT! when me n krista got to the cabin theo we desided to go for a walk down on the beach. it was 9:30..we stayd out till 10:30..mym om was NOT impressed then we stayd up till 3 talking. speaking of which its 1 now..and im exausted. so i think im gonna go.. im really excited thoe..my aunties babys coming in ..a month and a week.YEYE cant wait. till next time ...

July 15th

I've been..going through off and on fazes...Times whene ive been so low..I think about school and my freinds that i miss..and i just cant stand it, i cnat stand that i'll never again get to walk through those doors in the morning, and see corrie and mike sitting there waiting, then slowly watch kyla walk in, and amber and that other kid come in with bags full of junk from the store..and dawn complaining about her life. ill never again get to sit on the square and play cards with yenny, or watch whatever ..program..is on that tv. it sadens me. today..i was walking with the puppy..and i walked past glanford and i had so many blackflashes. i miss those people too. and i am SO mad..that i didnt get to enjoy the last year of school..due to some..lets say unfortoniate incidents. it was an interesting year thoe..how many people can say they had dealings with the FBI?

I learnd who true freinds were..and i love them. but i mean..future can be fun too right? schools over, we dont have to deal with shitty stupid people, Is strange.. but i think im getting used to it..it only took me a month. :S

My aunties baby is due in two months..im so excited.

I cant wait till i get married.

I sometimes wonder thoe.. What if i find the guy..and i run away because im scared..i often do that when i sense a guy is starting to like me..i run. Then i think well whats ment to be will always find a way. and it will just happen.

I really have no idea whats gonna happen in my life.. but thats no reason to be scared, no reason to be sad. Just go with the flow, |It's a dangerous business, going out your door. You step out onto the road, and if you don't kick your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."-Bilbo baggans.

You know what else buggs me? The word forever..i mean..forever is supposed to be..all eturnity right..never ending..but people say 'we'll be bestfreinds forever' or 'we'll be together forever'with the meaning it'll never end..but forever dose come to an end..and people hurt, I think someone should change the dictionary deffention for forever..hell i'll do it myself..head over to my first ever official chelsea english dictionary to find out what i have to say about forever..

Anytayz. I dont have much more to say.

June 17th

this is the first day of the rest of our lives.

All life is, is a road.

for the past 13 years, I've been traveling it with a big group of people. Some you never see, Some you meet and become friends with. The road has been bumpy, and friends have become seperated along the way, people have drifeted off in the croud, They've seen a shortcut, an optional way, and chosen that path, but Ive continued on this one. And today I graduated, The croud has despersed and gone their seperate ways. I find myself alone, in hte middle of a town, stairing at the roads. Which one do i choose? Maybe one will be a dead end, or a wrong turn, and i'll have to go back. Maybe ill see one of those people I was with for so long, on the way. Maybe today was hte last day i'll ever see them. Im scared..to do this by myself. I've never been that independent. But im stong , and i know i'll make it somehow. At the end of this road, there is forever happieness, if I choose it right. So while im chooseing my paths, I'll meet new people, Have new experiances, that i never dared to dream possible. The question is.. Which path do i choose..and where will it lead?

May 28th

Wensday morning. Tomorows grad. Im kinda scared, because i dont wanna walk across the stage, but not nearly as much as i was, or will be tomorow morning. I just cant wait to get this all over and done with. Im gonna miss so many of my friends that i Know i wont see again till the reunion, or worse, never again. Its sad, but at the same time i cant wait. I need to get myself a job. i applyed at The Imax, but i know i need to apply more places. So guess who was here in town? yeah they were. but i donno i didnt see em. why would i? ive never just seen em on the street. which is good cuz i donno what id do i wouldnt FREAK like a teeny, but id be like 'oh my god' lol. :S Anyways, I went downtown everyday this weekend,t hat was fun. ahhhh small talk, i m so nervous..GRAD!!!! im gonna look pretty thoe lol. And i know that hte parents wont be paying attention they'll be looking for their kids. and the kids wont be paying attention cuz they'll be eather really nervous or looking for friends.

anyways i think thats it for now..

May 23rd

It's friday again!!! what a coinkidink. I only ever write in here when i remember and feel like it, and both times..its a friday;) Anytayz..Whats up in my life..Graduation!! thats a huge thing. It's next Thursday. Im terrofied. Of mostly the ceromony..I hate walking across the stage, i've been dreading this for years, my silly fears..terroize me till they're over. Well ..only one more week..less then a week..6 days. After that? then what? Im gonna TRY and get AND KEEP a job, Save some money, then me and Miss Lena are off to Ireland for a year..well hopefully if plans work out. Ive made plans wiht people that havent paned out.one thing i learnd is people grow and change. I hope this one dosnt change..theres nothign in Ireland im afraid of. California it was the Earthquakes..and..AND living in ireland for a year, i will hoepfully find my hot irish guy. If im happy i may stay, if not..theres pleanty of other places for me to go. I hate planes..almost as much as i hate Spiders and Earthquakes, and The grad ceramonly, but id Rather fly then sitting in a room with a spider, walkacross stage, or wrose yet..walk across stage..with a spider on ur shoulder, while during an earthquake..omg i think i would die. um..mr rivers yelled at me today. soemthing about never being aloud near/around/to talk to katie ever again in that class..and how i shoulda gone to tlak to mr howe if it was me that had the concerns about the movie in class. Fucker. Yeahh.im not in THE BEST of moods..but*sighs* oh well. Ive been in worse. Tomorow im meeting kaite and we're going to go look for jobs. *rolls eyes* i dont relaly WANAN work but who dose?

till next time....

May9th

It's friday!!! not much has happend really, actully alot, but most of it i wont mention on here in case the certin somepeople read it. most ppl that read this anyways knwo what im talking about. so ..hmm. Never wrote back. but i've been hearing some stuff with someone that knows them. about the family, made me glad that i dont know them anyways. they sound like wusssyz, and the dad sounds like an ass. um..oh fuck. i fainted yesterday. we were watching a movie, in family management, about girls in 3rd world countrys getting circumsized. and i got a ll sick n flipfloppy, sweaty,dizzy, and i was like 'mr rivers' he ignored me 'mr rivers' ignored me again. finaly i was like 'katie move ur desk' shes olike '..okay..' i made it out the door and collasped to the ground. katie came running out withw ater, but no one else noticed. mr rivers got other katie to go tell us to get hte fuck in class. and she had to go back and say i was sick lying on the ground. and so he came out, told katie to get back in the class, katie argued saying she wasnt gonna leave me here, and then they faught, katie grabed her things told him to fuck off and left. aparently shes not aloud back int eh class. my mum is pissed at him. um..but yeah then he left me to go get me help, and this teacher with no voice came up and asked me if i was on drugs. and then took me to lye down on the couch. thismorning the lady in the office was all 'are you arlight?t hat was so weird? what happend?' i told her n she looked pissed at mr rivers too.

ne ways yeah thats it

April4th

Well i've had a good day. My mummies gone up island for her gurls weekend, so its quiet around here..well not for long kristas gota friend coming over tonight. But i got the hidell single today, its awsome. Its so much more upbeat then The boston post, and clint's voice sounds soo diffrent, no wonder i didnt reconize him on the phone.

I stayd home today, cause i wasnt feeling too good yesterday, but I did go earlier to talk to someone.....Ne one reading this already knows whats going on so theres no point in saying ne thing else is there?;)

I burnd a new cd yesterday, its fuking hallarous. um..its got this punk version of 'live on release'(but its not) sinigng barbie gurl..lmao. um..it's got california dreams..lol ..when i went to skool this morning, kyla was listneing to it with me..she used to love it too! the show...um..it's got TAKE 5!!!!!! lmao omg those boys sound like gurls but i luv that song lol. so many memories! Dawsons creek..love that song..lvoe the show..me n my mum saw in costco they had the dvd of hte whole first(or was it hte second) season. those r my fav, i dont like the ones when they're in collage.

well thats all folks!

March 31st

WELCOME HOME LISA!!!!

Well...*sighs* Life's pretty stressfull. School life is OKAY..Too much work thoe. In Family Management, we have a Wedding to plan, in Journalisum we have 2 weeks to completly finish the year book, so its coming in during spares, staying late after school, coming in weekends...*closes eyes* in photography..well I've finally finished my report on this photographer..with no help from him. other people emaild there photographers, they wrote back with some help. um thanks..i got no email back. um..but i still havet o makea positive, find out how my camera works and do the project on my cats.. um..in Writing class..i guess thats going okay..besides the 49%..i only ahve that cus the first half was hard..but the second half is doing good..so ill be okay hopefully.

then theres all this work auntie joy is giving me..for futurplaning or wutever. she said shes 'disapointed' in me because i didnt get it done. so homelife is more stressfull then school life is,e ven though ive lost 3 friends. go figure. um...what else? i dont really know..i just wanna cloths my eyes n go to sleep.

I added a new song, i was listening to it lasntight..n it reminded me of my situation with those damn moffatts. so..yeah.

March 29th

Well im back in school. Which is a good thing. After 2 weeks off, it's good to be back. Um...where to start, This week has been friggin long..not bad..but long. Corrie was at Police camp all week..And actuly..the first day I got back, Found 'Someone*S*' had written nasty things on mine and Haiyens locker..directed at me..of course. Ne ways..we scrubbed it off. Im getting a little annoyed..cause REALLY I havent done any thing to deserve the locker incodent, or being bitched at behind my back. I dont know what Milys problem is..but *shruggz* I just figure..it's there loss. Im a good friend..so.. whatever. Actully some of it's kinda funnie. Ashley said that *I* had no friends. BULL SHIT! I've got more friends then she EVER has. I was talking to Mike about that at lunch. N he's like "Yeah you dont have friends, You have all these people around you that love you and would die for you, but they're not your friends..cause that makes so much sence" The people I hang around now..are really great people. Yeah i miss some of the old people I used to hang around with cause i dont see htem AS much. But I still getta talk to them. And Im just comfortable where I am at the moment.

My aunties Helping me do this "life plan" thing..which is..good. Yeah its a drag, but it's better then my mom tryign to help me, cause she stresses me out, and hell, i need to do SOMETHING, i have absolutly no plan. So i guses this is the best way to get one.

Lisa's home in a few days! thank god ..I miss ya hunnie! got sooo much to tell you!! ITS CRAZY!!!!!

um...what else? I almost moved outa my house, but after we sat down and had a talk about it..I desided I didnt wanna live in a boarding house after all. oh well.. i only have 3 more months left.. ...but then what happens???

March 16th

"The problem with making humans into heros is that when they eventully act like humans, we get disapointed..and that�s not fair to them is it..?"

The quote says it all. When you make humans your hero, One day you'll see that tehyre just human. And you get disapointed.. It's like a slap in the face, Like your hearts been crushed. When Reality shows through the fiction and You see the truth..it hurts. The trouble with basing all your hopes and dreams on people is, people arnt always there. people Change, People arnt always who they seem to be, People leave.. For the past 5 years, ive based my hopes and dreams on people. And when i finaly opend my eyes and saw the reality..I've become lost. I dont know what to do, Where to go. I donno what there is to live for.. I feel so lost.

My friend stephi told me.. " You just need to figure out what it is God put you on the planet to live for, and go for it." And shes right. I donno why God put me here, And I donno when I'll find out. But Im still looking, And I'll hang on as long as I can..untill i can find that reason.

Untill then..Remember..Dont base your hopes n dreams on people.