still lingers in the air -
As I walk among the ruins I made,
I shake my head and stare.
Too much time has separated
deeds from memory -
Too much fear has created -
things I'll never see.
The darker dreams remain unseen,
all gathered in a pile -
Where reason's light will ne'er gleam,
nor will hearts reconcile.
But in these ruins of your past,
still there for you to see -
Are hopes and dreams that hold you fast,
to the times you spend with me.
Why must fate deal a dour hand,
why must it always tease?
Why does duty seem so bland,
why can't I do as I please?
Why are holes in your past so grand,
why cannot I mend these?
Why do words not heed command,
why do I fight destiny?
Why does darkness send its strands,
why does its touch freeze?
Why cannot I find dry land,
why swim in such vast seas?
Why is it that my heart demands
things that it can never sieze?
Why can I not take a stand,
why do I feel weak in the knees?
live's essence running out -
My words and feelings my only tools,
all filling me with doubt.
As I lay there flowing crimson stains,
and my eyes blankly stare -
My heart beats once then still remains,
my body lying there.
Either darkness claimed and took you away,
my words had done their best.
Or my deeds pushed and kept you at bay
while my words did the rest.
All there is in this mortal shell,
all that once was bright -
Is now mired inside this hell,
in the absence of your light.
When will my heart beat again,
when will death abate?
When will you come stop this pain,
when will end this state?
When do I cry out in vain,
when do I just sit and wait?
When does blood stop making stain,
when will be too late?
When do you see this body slain,
when will you see your self-hate?
When must my soul leave this plane,
when will Reaper my soul take?
When will you come back again,
and let your breath of life create?
When does lightning come without rain,
I had NO warning of this fate!
not wait here still and dead.
I must rise and run to you -
and hold you tight instead.
My vanity kept me lying in strife-
a cold look on my face.
But selfishness will drive a knife -
between our soul's embrace.
So I climb up onto my knees -
then stand on shaking feet.
I run to you and beg you please -
to allow my heart to beat!
To my surprise tears flood your eyes -
flowing in your pain.
My selfishness did compromise -
my foresight of the rain!
