| A Bad Day In My Life |
| I am making this page as my own type of therapy. The events that happened on the morning of February 15, 2004 will be forever burned vividly into my memory. No matter what I do, I still think about her. A lot of people that are very close to me say that I should go talk to someone about this, so that they may help me deal with the demons these events have unleashed upon me. But, if you know me, you know that I would rather deal with things in my own way, and on my own time. And now, over a year later, I am still having trouble coping with it. With that said..... let me tell you what happened. |
| *Names have been changed to protect those that I care about* |
 |
|
| February 14th, 2004 - Valentine's Day |
| This day started out just as any normal day would. She and I woke up around the same time, and we just cuddled for a bit before we got up and started to get ready. I made some biscuits with apple butter, and brewed some coffee..... because that was all I had. After we ate, and woke up a little more, we spent the next few hours just enjoying a lazy Saturday morning just hanging around my apartment. When it came time for lunch, we got in the car & drove around town looking for something we both wanted. She was really quiet and distant. I thought it was because it was Valentine's Day and I didn't have anything for her when she woke up. I quickly brushed off that thought because she is not a material girl. And she knew that I couldn't afford to get her anything that I wanted to. After an hour or so of asking her where she would like to eat, and getting the same response..... silence. I finally said, "OK, Sonny's BBQ it is.". When we sat down to eat, she seemed as if the waitress wasn't even there. I was starting to get really worried at this point. She came out of her stupor for a moment and ordered ribs. When the food came, she took one single bite. No more, no less. She spent the rest of the time in the resturant looking all around the place. I tried to talk to her, but I was being ignored. When we were finished eating, I took her to the mall. We went to the pet store because I knew she liked looking at the puppies and the fish. She really got me worried when she was hell-bent on buying a $600 dog. It took a bit of time, but I talked her out of making that decision. We left the mall and spent the next few hours just riding around town, stopping here and there to visit a few shops. At one place, I bought her some flowers. They weren't roses, but plain ol' flowers that I bought for her because I loved her. *and still do* By now, the sky was getting a bit darker, so we retreated back to my apartment. I spent all day trying to get her to snap out of the "mood" she was in, to no avail. If I had only known what was really happening, I may have done something different. I'm not too sure what I would have done different.... but I would have tried anything. A ticking time-bomb will explode no matter where it is when the time runs out. Anyway.... I digress. After we return to my... er.... "our"...apartment (since she was basically living with me), I stick a movie in the VCR in hopes that she would divert her attention to it instead of looking all around as if she had never been in that room before. It worked. Or so I thought, anyway. It seemed as though she was watching the movie, and she may have been at first. But after a while, I noticed that she was looking more toward the carpet right in front of the TV. I asked her what was the matter, and she said that she hasn't slept in days. Go figure, I thought. That makes me feel a bit better about her oddness today. I asked her if I should go get some type of sleep aid. She said it may help. So, off to the store I went. I bought just the generic over-the-counter stuff for four or five dollars. When I got back to my place, she was still in the exact place she was in when I left. I walked straight into the kitchen, filled a glass halfway with water, then read the directions for the sleep aid. I can't remember "word for word" what it said, but I remember I gave her only one. I told her that in 2 or 3 hours, if it didn't work, I'd give her another one. After she took the sleep aid, we started getting ready for bed. She got into bed in the same fashion that she had been moving all day.... slow & smooth. I crawled into bed next to her, put my arms around her, kissed her on the cheek and told her goodnight. Oh... how I wish I made coffee that night. |
| *My memory is a bit fuzzy on the details of Valentine's Day, mainly because the events that followed cast a big shadow on the day prior.* |