I figured we had to go big with our first review and first video game review so why not talk about Bill and Ted. I don't really remember when I first encountered these two time traveling rascals. I think it was in like the 8th grade. I remember a guy named Adam I went to school with saying that's not an electric guitar. Yes, I sucked at doing electric guitar. This is my most shameful secret and now you all know it. All I know is that he liked the movie and I liked the movie and I liked that guy. It's a shame that his life ended so soon, only living to be like twenty years old, but he was a good fella and I end up thinking about him a lot. I also ended up watching and loving the sequel movie. I also really enjoyed the newest one from these days. It's actually one of the better updates of something from the past. I guess having the original writers writing the new movie helped a lot too. Anyway it had a nice ending and wrapped up the entire story really well. I'm glad they made it. So now that's I've talked a little about the movies and my memories behind them it's time to finally get into this awful awful game.
I do not remember when I first came across this game. Probably when I would download and play every NES ROM I could to find out what games I wanted to own. I'm pretty sure my first time playing this game was me just not even knowing what the fuck to do and calling the game shit. At one point during the 2000s, I didn't want to just go for the games I found fun, I wanted to go for every single NES game period! All of them, from Duck Hunt to Contra to Hot Slots to Wall Street Kid! I wanted them all. So I found a copy of Bill and Ted somewhere and actually tried to play it this time. Guess what? My original opinion was right. This game is a big pile of stinky smelly shit. Like a really fucking big pile of shit. I don't know what kind of shit but let's just go with horse. This game is horse shit.
The game was made by LJN and everyone ever even before the AVGN came by would trash LJN. However, I actually think they made a few good games. Or should I say other companies made good games for them. Don't get me wrong there are a lot of not good LJN games. A lot of them, however I do not believe that every single one of them was worthless. The NES had actually a few good titles made by LJN, however I want to keep you guessing on what games I believe those to be! It'll be fun whenever I review a NES game published by them. It'll keep you wondering if I liked it or not!
So, I think we should start with the positives. I will say that the graphics are pretty great for the NES. I like the way the characters look. I think the goofy cartoon style for the historical figures works really well. The characters look like they should and that's what should be mentioned. Good stuff. Uh, I think that's the only thing that I can even say that's any good about this game. The music is alright I guess. I mean when it actually shows up. Music will just randomly end in levels leaving you in silence until it comes back when you go inside a room or something. Those quick songs are fine. They don't sound like hot shit or something. Just fine. I'm not going to remember them though. Still that works. However what's really fucking terrible about this game is the game play. You have to bring historical figures back to their regular times by finding something that they want in the level. It's called historical bait in the manual. Finding that historical bait is impossible without the help of at least a game faq. Unless you literally want to jump on every single tree, bush, cactus, rock and assorted items in GIANT ASS LEVELS. No they didn't decide to make a rock red to make you go "Oh I should jump on this one!" no it's endless yellow fucking rocks. Have fun finding out what to jump on. It's a pain in the ass. A annoying paint in the ass.
That's not the only problem either. No you get enemies just walking around (or chasing you) that will either steal a item, a coin, or a jail key. All of which you need to keep enemies away from you. Yes, you can literally run out of items and just be jumping away from the increasing number of guys who will chase you who seem to get faster and increase in numbers in every fucking stage of this fucking mess of shitty garbage. This isn't even the worst part in my mind. THE worst part is the game you have to play to get INTO the actual levels. The phone booth thing. You hit one of those skulls you loose a coin. You wait too long to fire your little phone booth it goes to the next place in the number and you lose TWO coins. and you ONLY get 15 coins to do this, I say only 15 coins because you'll be too piss off by this stupid mini game to even get another 15 from Rufus. You'll just turn on a better NES game, which is like most NES games really. Really really big flaws that ruin this game and make it unplayable. Despite that I somehow beat it. I did that because I'm fucking nuts in the brain. Please don't repeat my mistake and never ever play this poop pile.