  1.You know your a red neck if You've ever cut your grass and found a car.
  2. You know your a red neck if You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
  3. You know your a red neck if You think the stock market has a fence around it.
  4. You know your a red neck if Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
  5. You know your a red neck if You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
  6. You know your a red neck if Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
  7. You know your a red neck if You own a homemade fur coat.
  8. You know your a red neck if Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
  9. You know your a red neck if You burn your yard rather than mow it.
 10. You know your a red neck if Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
 11. You know your a red neck if You refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as "the day my ship came in."
 12. You know your a red neck if You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
 13. You know your a red neck if You know your a red neck ifThe Salvation Army declines your mattress.
 14. You know your a red neck if You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
 15. You know your a red neck if Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
 16. You know your a red neck if Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave the bingo hall because of her language.
 17. You know your a red neck if Someone asks, "Where's your bowling bag?" and you answer, "She's at home with the kids."
 18. You know your a red neck if Birds are attracted to your beard.
 19. You know your a red neck if Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
 20. You know your a red neck if You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.
 21.You know your a red neck if You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
 22.You know your a red neck if You know your a red neck ifYou've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
 23.You know your a red neck if Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
 24.You know your a red neck if You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
 25.You know your a red neck if You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
 26.You know your a red neck if You clean your fingernails with a stick.
 27.You know your a red neck if Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
 28.You know your a red neck if You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
 29.You know your a red neck if You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
 30.You know your a red neck if Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
 31.You know your a red neck if Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
 32.You know your a red neck if Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
 33.You know your a red neck if You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
 34.You know your a red neck if There are more than five McDonald's bags currently in the floorboard of your car.
 35.You know your a red neck if The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.
 36.You know your a red neck if There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.
 37.You know your a red neck if You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
 38.You know your a red neck if The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
 39.You know your a red neck if You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
 40.You know your a red neck if You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
 41.You know your a red neck if You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
 42.You know your a red neck if You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.
 43.You know your a red neck if You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
 44.You know your a red neck if Your considered an expert on worm beds.
 45.You know your a red neck if Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
 46.You know your a red neck if The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
 47.You know your a red neck if You've ever bought a used cap.
 48.You know your a red neck if Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
 49.You know your a red neck if You pick your teeth from a catalog.
 50.You know your a red neck if You've ever financed a tattoo.
 51.You know your a red neck if You've ever stolen toilet paper.
 52.You know your a red neck if You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
 53.You know your a red neck if People hear your car a long time before they see it.
 54.You know your a red neck if The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
 55.You know your a red neck if You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
 56.You know your a red neck if You take a fishing pole into Sea World.
 57.You know your a red neck if You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
 58.You know your a red neck if You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
 59.You know your a red neck if You think the French Riviera is foreign car.
 60.You know your a red neck if You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
 61.You know your a red neck if You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
 62.You know your a red neck if Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
 63.You know your a red neck if MOTEL 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
 64.You know your a red neck if You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.
 65.You know your a red neck if You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
 66.You know your a red neck if Your mother does not remove the Marlboro from her mouth before telling the state trooper to kiss her ass.
 67.You know your a red neck if Your pocket knife often doubles as a toothpick.
 68.You know your a red neck if You own a denim leisure suit.
 69.You know your a red neck if You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
 70.You know your a red neck if Your dog has a litter of puppies on the living room floor and nobody notices.
 71.You know your a red neck if You've ever been kicked out of the KKK for being a BIGOT
 72.You know your a red neck if You see no need to stop at rest stops because you have an empty milk jug in the car.
 73.You know your a red neck if You have a rag for a gas cap.
 74.You know your a red neck if The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
 75.You know your a red neck if You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.
 76.You know your a red neck if You show your boyfriend you really love him by carving his name on your arm.
 77.You know your a red neck if You've ever had to turn your pickup truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.
 78.You know your a red neck if You've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that begins, "For a good time call...."
 79.You know your a red neck if You ever hit on somebody in a V.D. clinic.
 80.You know your a red neck if Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
 81.You know your a red neck if You bought a VCR because wrestling is on while you're at work.
 82.You know your a red neck if After the Prom you drove the truck while your date hit road signs with beer bottles.
 83.You know your a red neck if Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
 84.You know your a red neck if All of your four letter words are two syllables.
 85.You know your a red neck if You've ever been too drunk to fish.
 86.You know your a red neck if You cut your toenails in front of company.
 87.You know your a red neck if You view the upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet women.
 88.You know your a red neck if Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
 89.You know your a red neck if Hitchhikers won't get in the car with you.
 90.You know your a red neck if You've ever heard a sheep bleat and had romantic thoughts.
 91.You know your a red neck if Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
 92.You know your a red neck if You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
 93.You know your a red neck if You can spit without opening your mouth.
 94.You know your a red neck if You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
 95.You know your a red neck if You call your boss "dude".
 96.You know your a red neck if You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
 97.You know your a red neck if You have grease under your toenails.
 98.You know your a red neck if You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
 99.You know your a red neck if Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
100.You know your a red neck if You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
101.You know your a red neck if You've ever been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
102.You know your a red neck if You've ever cleaned fish in your living room.
103.You know your a red neck if You think Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.
104.You know your a red neck if You actually know which kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper.
105.You know your a red neck if Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
106.You know your a red neck if When asked for I.D. you show them your belt buckle.
107.You know your a red neck if Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
108.You know your a red neck if Your wife's hair-do was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.
109.You know your a red neck if Your father walks you to school because you're both in the same grade.
110.You know your a red neck if Your father encourages you to quit school because Uncle Larry has an opening at the "Lube Rack".
111.You know your a red neck if You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.
112.You know your a red neck if Anyone in your family has ever worn a tube-top to a wedding.
113.You know your a red neck if Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help him take off the wheels and skirt it.
114.You know your a red neck if You consider a six-pack and a bug zapper to be quality entertainment.
115.You know your a red neck if Your front porch collapses and it kills more than three dogs.
116.You know your a red neck if Your family tree doesn't fork.
117.You know your a red neck if Directions to your house include the phrase "turn off the paved road".
118.You know your a red neck if There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
119.You know your a red neck if You bought a VCR because wrestling is on while you're at bingo.
120.You know your a red neck if You prominently display the gift you got at Graceland.
121.You know your a red neck if You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
122.You know your a red neck if You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
123.You know your a red neck if You've been to a funeral where there were more pick-ups than cars.
124.You know your a red neck if Jack Daniels makes your most admired list.
125.You know your a red neck if You have only one more hole to be punched in your card to get a freebie at the "House of Tattoos".
126.You know your a red neck if You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.
127.You know your a red neck if You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
128.You know your a red neck if You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
129.You know your a red neck if Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves shoes and a flashlight.
130.You know your a red neck if Your brother and sister get divorced...from each other.
131.You know your a red neck if Your wife asks you to fix the furniture...and you use any of the following: a) Duct Tape; b) Welding torch; c) any sticky bodily fluids.
132.You know your a red neck if More than one living relative is named after a southern civil wargeneral.
133.You know your a red neck if You've ever used lard in bed.
134.You know your a red neck if Your home has more miles on it than your car.
135.You know your a red neck if You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve.
136.You know your a red neck if There is a stuffed pposum anywhere in your house.
137.You know your a red neck if Fewer than half of your cars run.
138.You know your a red neck if The primary color of your car is "bondo".
139.You know your a red neck if You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.
140.You know your a red neck if You stand under the misteletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
141.You know your a red neck if Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school 