"Man with athletic finger make broad jump!"
"Man who fart in church must sit in own pew!"
"Woman who nags husband all day, gets no peace at night!"
"Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk!"
"Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok!"
"Good for boy to meet girl in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl!"
"Woman who cook cabbage and peas in same pot unsanitary!"
"Man who loses key to girlfriend's apartment gets no new key!"
"Man who eat many prune sit on toilet many moon!"
"Woman who fly plane upside-down going to have crack up!"
"Man who eat jelly beans fart in Techni-Color!"
"Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger!"
"Man with hole in pocket will be feeling cocky all day.
"Virgin with thimble on finger never feel prick." 
"Man with one chopstick go hungry." 
"Man who go to bed with diarrhea wake up in deep shit." 
"Man who fuck turkey eat stuffing." 
"Man who fuck ugly dog get howled at." 
"Man trapped in sewer eat shit and die." 
"Hockey player on ice have big stick." 
"Man who go to McDonald's eat out stinky meat." 
"Boy who diddle little girl do diddly squat." 
"Man who lifts stones off woman get rocks off." 
"Man who get paid pick up chick." 
"Penis put in vacuum cleaner get sucked off." 
"Man who pull out too soon get hit in rear end." 
"Man who eat pussy do lip service." 
"Man who fuck pig eat ham." 
"Pentocostal who pass out get laid in church." 
"Woman who turn back on lover get fucked over." 
"Woman who eat banana get cream in mouth." 
"Priest with dick in snow like cold one before mass." 
"Man trapped in whore house get jerked around." 
"Man with dick in peanut butter is fucking nuts." 
"Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails." 
"Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily a dentist." 
"Man who paints on toilet door is a shithouse painter." 
"Is good for girl to meet boy in park but better for boy to park meat in girl." 
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time." 
"Man who finger girl having period may get caught red handed." 
"Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam." 
"Man who eat many prunes get good run for money." 
"Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock." 
"Man who buy drowned cat must pay for stinking wet pussy." 
"Virgin like balloon. One prick, all gone." 
"Man with hand in pocket is having a ball." 
"Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!" 
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it." 
"Work to become, not to acquire." 
"Show off always shown up in showdown." 
"Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock." 
"Man with no legs bums around." 
"Man who pull out too fast leave rubber." 
"Baby ill-conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard." 
"A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose." 
"Find old man in dark, not hard!" 
"Confucius say too fucking much!" 
"Man who smoke pot choke on handle." 
"It is Ok for shit to happen. Shit will decompose." 
"When in doubt, whip it out." 
"A man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts." 
"Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!" 
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left." 
"Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache." 
"Girl who marry detective must kiss dick." 
"Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed." 
"Girl who go to bachelor pad for snack get tit-bit." 
"Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole woman have more." 
"Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy." 
"Sailor who gets discharged from navy leave buddies behind." 
"No difference between man and mouse. Both end up in pussy." 
"Woman is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz time and 1/4 rag time." 
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house." 
"Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk." 
"Man with hand in bush not necessarily trimming shrubs." 
"Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!" 
"Man with athletic fingers make Broad Jump!" 
"House without toilet is uncanny." 
"Many men smoke but Fu Manchu." 
"He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser." 
"While others are inside sitting down, you will be outstanding." 
"Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy!" 
"Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn out!" 
"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it." 
"Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed." 
"Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary." 
"Man who go out with flat chested woman feel shallow." 
"Man that have sex with hole in ground have piece on earth." 
"Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons." 
"Man who bounce woman on bed spring this spring have offspring next spring." 
"Woman with bleached blonde hair have black hair by cracky." 
"Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money." 
"Wife for life is better than wife for strife." 
"Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink." 
"Man who drive like hell bound to get there!" 
"Girl with little red bike peddle ass all over town!" 
"Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!" 
"Girl who slides down banister nude gets splinters by crackey!" 
"Rape no good. Woman run faster with dress up, than man can with pants down." 
"Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand." 
"Better to sleep with chicken than to choke it." 
"All blonde not blonde by cracky." 
"Man who sit on tack get point!" 
"Man who runs behind car gets exhausted!" 
"Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!" 
"Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new-key!" 
"Woman who fly plane upside down have hairy crack up!" 
"Man who has woman on ground has piece on earth!" 
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!" 
"Man who fart in church sit in his own pew!" 
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day!"
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
"Virgin like balloon. . . one prick, all gone."
"Baseball wrong. . . man with four balls cannot walk."
"Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard."
"A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose."
"Find old man in dark, not hard."
"Man who smoke pot choke on handle."
"Ok for shit to happen. . . will decompose."
"He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser."
"Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn out."
"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."
"Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."
"Woman who cooks carrots and pees in same pot is unsanitary."
"Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons."
"Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants."
"War not determine who's right, war determines who's left."
"Those who quote me are fools."
"America good place to put chinese restaurant."
"Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok."
"Man who is jacking off into a peanut butter jar is f__king nuts."
"Man who go to bed with a problem in hand wakes up in the morning with a solution in hand."
"He who refuses to listen is lying."
"He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts."
"He who pull out to fast leave rubber behind."
"Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache."
"Wash your face in the morning, neck at night."
"Man who have woman on ground have piece on earth."
"Woman who fly upside down have hairy crackup."
"Man who go to bed with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger."
"It take square ass to s**t a brick."
"He who sniffs Coke, drowns."
"Crowded elevator smells different to midget."
"Lady who live in glass house, dress in basement!"
"To make egg roll, push it."
"Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy..."
"He who fart in church sit in own pew."
"He who fucks dynamite gets big bang out of it."
"She who rides bike, peddles ass all over town."
"He who lose key to girlfriends apartment get no new key."
"Man who pick nose - head cave in."
"Fly which rests on toilet seat gets pissed off."
"Man who eats photograph of his sire is soon spitting image of his father."
"Man who sink into woman's arms will soon find arms in woman's sink."
"Man who piss into strong wind gets wet."
"Bread that is cast upon water gets soggy and sinks."
"Hamsters which crawl into the wrong orifice get shit-faced."
"Man with athletic finger make broad jump."
"Boy and girl go camping together sure to have naughty intent."
"Never trust men with short legs, brains too near the bottom."
"Man who put cream in tart, not really a baker..."
"Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner."
"Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus."
"He who let woman on top is f***ing up."
"Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat-house."
"I didn't say that!!!"
"Man with hand in pocket feel cocky."
"Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary."
"Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom."
"Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor."
"Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard."
"He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab."
"Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons."
"Man who lose key to apartment not get new key."
"He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise."
"Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert."
"Elevator smell different to midget."
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
"Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam." 
"Don't drink and park, accidents cause people." 
"He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser." 
"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it." 
"War not determine who's right, war determines who's left." 