Q: What’s charred and stands between two sticks?A: A burnt cripple.
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?A: A dead epileptic.
Q: What are invisible and smell like dog food?A: Old people's farts.
Q: What does a 14 year old girl from Tasmania say after the first time that she has sex?A: Get off of me Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.. 
Q: What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs? A: Nice tits!
Q: What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs who gives good head?A: Partially disabled 
Q: What were the two best things about the million man march?A: Only two people missed work."
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other?A: You know we do taste like chicken.
Q: What's the difference between a friend and a real friend?A: A friend will help you move. A real friend will help you move bodies!
Q: Why was the wheelbarrow invented in Africa?A: So that the natives could learn to walk on their hind legs before ….being shipped to America.
Q: Why did god create orgasms?A: So niggers know when to stop.
Q: Why did god give niggers rhythm?A: Because he fucked up their hair, nose and lips.
Q: Why do lions in Africa go around licking each other’s arseholes?A: To get the taste of niggers out of their mouths.
Q: Why did the army private tattoo sergeant's stripes on his cock?A: He loved to pull rank!
Q: What’s black, white and red and hangs from a gum tree?A: A crow with a fat.
Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?A: A fur coat.
Q: What do Aboriginals do when the lights go out in their homes?A: Light the candles under their kids noses.
Q: How do you know when your getting old?A: You dreams are dry & you farts are wet.
Q: What do you call a successful masturbation by a 90 year old man?A: Miracle whip.
Q: Why do New Zealand horses run so fast?"A: Because they've seen what the farmers do to the sheep.
Q: What's a woman?A: Something you lie on when your having a fuck.
Q: What is the difference between a woman and a donkey?A: None, you can ride them both!
Q: What is the best way to brainwash your wife?A: Stand on her enema bag.
Q: What's the difference between a woman with PMS and mad cow disease?A: Two tits!
Q: Did you hear about the new device that makes your car run 95 percent quieter?A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
Q: How do you get a woman off during sex?A: Push her.
Q: Why shouldn't you buy a woman a watch?A: Because there's a clock on the stove.
Q: When are beer and your mother-in-law at their best?A: When they're cold, opened up and on the table.
Q: What's a Greek "10"?A: The back of a "4"
Q: How do you piss your girlfriend of when your having sex?A: You phone her up.
Q: What do you call a Nun with a sex change?A: A Trans-Sister.
Q: What does the KU KLUX KLAN have in common with anabolic steroids?A: They both make niggers run like fuck.
Q: How do you know you've walked into a homosexual church service?A: Only half the congregation are kneeling.
Q: What is an avalanche?A: A mountain getting it's rocks off.
Q: How do you get meat from a fly?A: By unzipping it.
Q: What is the definition for 'Mass Confusion'?A: Father's Day in Harlem.
Q: What’s the hardest thing about cooking vegetables in a microwave?A: Getting the wheelchair through the door
Q: Why Does an Aboriginal carry 2 pieces of toilet paper in his wallet?A: One for ID, and the other is a picture of his mother!
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?A: What are you shaking for, it's me she's going to eat.
Q: What’s Smurf sex?A: Fucking until you’re blue in the face.
Q: Why did god invent football?A: So that married men could have some physical contact in their lives.
Q: Why did the Jew give half the proceeds of his 2 million dollar lottery….win to the nazi party?A: Because they tattooed the winning numbers on his forearm.
Q: What did the homo sea captain give his boyfriend for his birthday.?A: A tug
Q: Why do woman always appear to be changing their minds?A: It allows them to continually delude themselves that they have one!
Q: Why hasn’t a woman walked on the moon?A: Because it doesn’t need cleaning!
Q: What does WIFE stand for?A: Washing, Ironing, Fucking, Etc.
Q: How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: Three. one to screw in the lightbulb, and another to suck my dick ….as I beat my wife!
Q. What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?A. A Rape victim
Q: What are the three reasons why anal sex is better then vaginal sex?A: It's warmer, it's tighter, and it's more degrading to women.
Q: What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?A: Einstein's cock.
Q: What's the best thing about a blowjob?A: Ten minutes of silence.
Q: Did you hear of the new Black Barbie?A: It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
Q: Why do kids prefer white teachers over black teachers?A: It is easier to bring an apple than a watermelon?
Q: What fruit has seven dents?A: Snow White's cherry.
Q: How many faggots does it take to put in a light bulb?A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is….a greasy box to pop your bone in.
Q: What is the best thing to say to an Arts student with a job?A: "Big Mac and large fries please!".
Q: What's dangerous and eats nuts?A: Syphilis.
Q: What is the difference between a midget and a freak?A: Political correctness.
Q: What do you get if you cross an Asian with a pit bull terrier?A: A gook free neighborhood.
Q: Why do Italians whistle in the toilet?A: So they know which end to wipe.
Q: What's the Greek army's motto?A: Never leave you mate's behind.
Q: Why is parliament like a slut's dream?A: Because it's full of pricks.
Q: Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony?A: The guy who can carry two pitchers of beer and a foot of onion rings!
Q: Who is the most popular girl in a nudist colony?A: The girl who can eat the last onion ring.
Q: How do you recognize a blind man in a nudist colony?A: Its not hard.
Then there was this guy who, just back from a nudist wedding, who came
within an inch of being best man.
Q: What are the first symptom of AIDS?A: A pounding sensation in the arse.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a lady in a bathtub?A: A nun has hope in her soul!
Q: What's the best part of marrying a woman with leprosy?A: She can only give you lip once.
Q: Did you hear about the four Abos who were run over by a truck?A: They were looking for the wine in the diff.
Q: How do you make a hormone?A: Kick her in the guts.
Q: How many battered women does it take to change a light bulb?A: Just one if they know what's good for them.
Q: How come Kamahl never played in the sand box as a kid?A: The cats kept covering him over.
Q: What did the poof do when he missed his boyfriend?A: He shit in his hand and had a wank.
Q: What do you call a black in a park with his fly open?A: A rapist.
Q: What do you give a black women who has an abortion?A: A $50 crime stopper award!
Q: What’s green and sits in a wheelchair?A: A moldy spastic.
Q: What’s green and melts in your mouth.A: A leper’s cock!
Q: Why do Jews wear yarmulkes?A: Because the little propellers cost extra!
Q: What do you call a homosexual dinosaur?A: A Megasorarse!
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?A: A Lickalotapuss!
Q: What's the worst part about fucking a newborn baby?A: Putting it in the body-bag when you're done!
Q: What do you call 100 old niggers in a barn?A: Antique farming equipment.
Q: What’s an 11?A: A 10 that swallows.
Q: What's green and pink and purple and orange and black?A: A nigger dressed for church.
Q: Why does Hillary Clinton always climb on top?A: Because Bill can only fuck up!
Q: Why are there so many poofters in the British aristocracy?A: Have you seen their women?
Q: What do Lebanese women and ice-hockey players have in common?A: They both change clothes after three periods!
Q: What's the difference between a 69 and being mugged?A: With a 69 at least you see the cunt creeping up on you.
Q: Why can’t Nigger woman become nuns?A: Because they can’t get used to saying ‘superior’ after ‘Mother’.
Q: What does the gynecologist and the pizza delivery boy have in common?A: They can both smell it but can't eat it!
Q: Did you hear about the leper hockey game?A: There was a faceoff in the corner.
Q: Why do woman have cunts?A: So men will talk to them.
Q: What's geographically wrong with New Zealand?A: It’s above water.
Q: What's the difference between yogurt and New Zealand?A: Yogurt has a living culture.
Q: What do you call a Kiwi with an IQ of 120?A: A suburb.
Q: Why don't New Zealanders become chemists?A: Because they can't get those little medicine bottles in the typewriter.
Q: What is the difference between a Kiwi and ET?A: ET went home.
Q: Why don't kiwi's take their wives to the rugby?A: They jump the fence and eat the grass.
Q: What are the three biggest lies a kiwi tells?A1. The car is paid for.A2. I quit drinking.A3. I was only trying to help that sheep over the fence.
Q: What is the great Australian dream?A: 100,000 Kiwi's swimming home with a Vietnamese under each arm.
Q: What do you call a New Zealander who moves to Australia and….collects Social Security payments?A: A Fuckin' Kiwi Dole Bludger!
Q: What do you call a New Zealander who moves to Australia and….becomes and international celebrity through movies, music or sport?A: And Australian.


