How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  12.  Every morning at the bus stop, that same pig is reading the newspaper -- upside down!
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  11.  Whenever you cross the road, so does that damned chicken!
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  10.  That foul smell, and you're not with your beer drinking buddies.
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  9.  Heavy bleating on the other end of the phone.
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  8.  Silhouette of knife-wielding Holstein appears on your shower curtain.
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  7.  Everywhere you do, the bell!  the Bell!!  THE BELL!!!
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  6.  You find a knit cap and FOUR bloody gloves.
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  5.  You keep hearing , "Oink Oink," and there isn't a See'n'Say toy in sight.
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  4.  After an ugly break-up with Flopsy, you find Glenn Close floating in a pot on your stove.
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  3.  While baking custard pie, you step in cow pie.
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  2.  All 84 Caller ID entries read, "Babe."
How to tell if your being stalked by a FARM ANIMAL  1.  Note on your doorstep says, "We'll see who's laughing at Thanksgiving this year, PUNK!"


