Museum Murder: Heads

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Kevin peered through the entrance to the museum room where *it* happened. Dani was standing in front of a glass case containing some battered and fading papyrus.

 

"Egyptian" she said, without otherwise acknowledging his presence.

 

She then turned around and walked slowly towards him. "Early Dynasty. Book of the Dead".

 

Kevin walked a few strides into the museum and faced her. A real stand-off, in all senses of the word. Cat and mouse, even.

 

"In ancient Egypt" she said, "cats were revered, as Gods, no less, Kevin. The punishment for killing one of them was death".

 

"Well", Kevin said, "the Cat family's pretty special. All that sleeping and drinking saucers of milk. We need to be taken care of, you know".

 

"Taken care of? Just as you 'took care of' Biff?" she asked, acidly.

 

Kevin sized Dani up, and started to walk to look at an exhibit of Etruscan arrowheads.

 

"Whatever makes you think that, Dani?" he asked, keeping his voice clear of any inflections or tone.

 

"I've been thinking. Biff's been blackmailing most the dorm, but who has the most to lose? He has a photo of Cindy throwing up behind some bar, a picture of Scott doing math, one of Mikey eating something and one of Brad reading a book. But he has hard evidence of YOU performing academic misconduct".

 

Kevin winced at those two last words.

 

"Sure, the others would lose a little pride if he went public, but you? You'd lose your degree. Probably be barred from entering any other University. Any other accredited University, anyway" she finished, with a sniff.

 

Kevin turned to her and smiled. "Very funny, Dani. Can we knock this off now? It's creepy to joke about the dead".

 

"It's no joke. I *know*, Kevin. And whatsmore, I have proof".

 

Kevin visibly paled a little more at the mention of proof. No mean feat when you're covered in an inch of fur.

 

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

 

"Funnily enough, it was in your desperate attempts to cover up and destroy some of the evidence that clued me into the fact it was actually you who'd done the crime. Up till then I'd thought it was an accident, just as you'd no doubt intended it to look".

 

Kevin's tail swished. Dani noted it, made eye contact and continued.

 

"Take, for instance, the ceramic pot. No one owned up to breaking it, and this wasn't out of some fear of getting into trouble, Kevin, this was a MURDER investigation. No one's going to start telling some lies if it'd jeopardize their innocent alibi. So who broke the pot? Obviously the murderer, the only one who'd tell lies in that situation. In this case; the pot calling the kitty's alibi cracked".

 

"You sat up all night thinking that one up, didn't you?" Kevin replied with a grin that was more teeth than smile. Some dormant part in his feline genes stirred. Mouse. Mmm.

 

"I actually did, yes" Dani added, with a slightly modest blush, "but anyway. At first, it didn't make sense about you breaking the pot. You know as well as I your superior feline vision would make it possible for you to navigate your way silently through the museum, seeing especially well in the dark due to the excessive amount of cone cells in your eyes"

 

"Rods, actually" Kevin corrected. "Cones are for seeing colours".

 

Dani walked over to examine the detail of a Minoan lustral vase.

 

"Irregardless", she continued, only to be interrupted again.

 

"Regardless" Kevin corrected.

 

"Regardless", Dani said with a small smirk, "your silent pussy-footing and night vision make you just the thing for sneaking around a darkened museum.. and yet, this pot gets broken. I was convinced of all the people it might have been, it wouldn't be you. And yet, when everyone's making their examinations of the crime scene, YOU are the only person who bothers to actually touch the pot, and in particular, any pieces large enough that might contain an incriminating pawprint."

 

"I was investigating" Kevin said, with a shrug.

 

"Investigating to ensure you could account for the one in a thousand chance of a large enough pot piece surviving that had your prints on it. That way if any of the police had actually thought to dust for prints, you'd have a convenient cover story" Dani replied.

 

"Just as well I have the dainty walking finesse of a cat and night vision then" Kevin said, with a chuckle, "or it'd look like I'd accidently broken the pot".

 

It was now Dani's turn to correct Kevin. "Break it on purpose. You did it for two reasons. Firstly, you wanted everyone to look at the center window, right near where the pot fell, so they'd all be distracted by Biff's torch waving antics, but secondly" Dani paused, summing the events up, "you'd want some loud sound to prevent what little noise might have come from you opening the window to the right of the center one".

 

"The other window?" Kevin snorted, "what are you, crazy?"

 

"Biff waved the flashlight around almost continuously, probably on your instructions so we'd all be even more distracted and perhaps temporarily blinded. Of course, he thought the room was empty except for Scott hiding there somewhere to probably help move some of the heavier stuff, as you would have told him - no doubt".

 

Kevin shook his head and faced away. "You're not even making sense. You've got me opening the wrong window to kill Biff, Dani. You're obsessing over this murder too much".

 

"Far from it, it's the ONLY window you can open if you want to stab Biff. Biff waved the torch around so the beam shot into the room. Now, if you were standing in FRONT of him, in FRONT of the window, you'd block the beam so we couldn't see him or it.. just you. Obviously not what you'd intend. So you make plans with Biff to rob the museum. You tell him Scott's inside, bring some robbing gear (so it'll look like some kinda bungled robbery accident) and you'll meet him on the southern wall of the museum at 9:40".

 

"Now, you *know* Scott was closer to the light switch than I, and while it's highly coincidental Biff was calling to Scott for *some reason*, there's no proof Scott had anything to do with it". Kevin said in mock smugness.

 

"Scott DIDN'T have anything to do with it, Kevin. You told Biff he did, obviously because he'd trust Scott more than he would you, and you didn't want to risk him calling YOUR name into the room. As for the light detail, I'm sure an engineering student such as yourself who's so experienced with computers and various timers could figure out a way to make the museum power shut off at a preset time, perhaps 9:39, and then go back on again a few minutes later. You telling the room Scott couldn't have done anything because he was standing next to you just created an alibi for yourself: If Kevin is standing next to Scott then Scott is standing next to Kevin".

 

Kevin scowled.

 

"But", Dani continued, "back to the right window. The lights go out. You pick up a pot, walk a few paces towards the right window, give an underarm toss to drop the pot right in front of the center window while you slide the right window open, hop out, meet Biff, and then he starts to climb into the center window, as you'd arranged. That's when you did it".

 

"This is ridiculous. Paranoid rambling at best" Kevin said, laughing it off.

 

"The thing that convinced me was when you decided to examine the window Biff came through, you went to the effort of sliding it upwards to get your pawprints on the outside of the glass, another very convenient cover story should any pawprints turn up in the investigation. Then to distract attention away from the fact you had no actual reason to open the window, you stick your head out and allow the sill to drop onto the back of your head. You're screaming, there's blood around, people have forgotten that you've deliberately touched the two items that the murderer would have touched. It was the cut on the back of your head that was the real clincher to it being a murder and not an accident".

 

Kevin gingerly rubbed the mostly healed cut on the back of his head and winced.

 

Dani continued. "The fact the window fell of its own accord on your head so suddenly, it meant Biff couldn't have died by accident. If the window can't stay open, he needs at least one paw to hold it open, which leaves only one paw to either hold the knife or the flashlight, and we've established he was holding the flashlight. So where does the knife come from? Someone else. And they're not in front of him, they're behind".

 

"There was only one set of pawprints outside, Dani" Kevin said. "I found that out when I got my cut here" he said, brushing his hair up to show her the scar.

 

"If the killer's standing behind Biff, and they're not as big as him, they can obviously just put their smaller feet in his larger footprints while they follow him. It'd appear as though only one person's been there". Dani replied. She eyed Kevin over, took a deep breath, and continued.

 

"They reach around, and jab the knife at a steep angle UPwards into Biff's chest. His climbing into the window would have made him higher up and the job somewhat easier".

 

Dani paused for breath. Kevin glanced out the window.

 

"Also, making a point of switching your mobile off as you entered the museum ensured you wouldn't have the backlight of the display giving your position away in the dark, or worse still, Biff ringing you up to try and find where you were if you were late in meeting him by a few minutes".

 

"All coincidental and hearsay" he said, bluntly. "No actual evidence".

 

"Well, for such an operation to work properly, you'd need to know exactly when Biff'd try to enter the museum. I'd be very surprised if when we compare your watch to Biff's one in the morgue they're not running at the exact time, to the same second, even. Now why would two students who disliked each other and hardly met synchronize their watches?"

 

"Another coincidence" Kevin replied, "I set my watch to the University clock, as does Biff no doubt, too. I bet my watch shows the same time as another thousand students, all innocent as well".

 

Dani smiled. She was hoping this wouldn't occur to Kevin and she'd get a confession. It was obviously time for the trump card.

 

"You left pawprints on the window, too".

 

Kevin's eyes quickly darted to the rightmost window.

 

"No, no" Dani said quickly, "not THAT one. I'm sure you did a most thorough job cleaning that one last night under the cover of darkness last night. The center one".

 

"Ah, dear Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani" Kevin said, "it was YOU who mentioned the fact of my opening the window from the inside that caused my prints to be legitimately placed on the outside. Let's not contradict ourselves here".

 

"I'm not" Dani replied. "But if you think about it, opening the window from the inside will cause your left paw to make marks on what's the outside's right side. And yet we found pawprints of your left paw on outside's left side. You could only make those marks if you'd either crossed your arms while opening the window, which we know you didn't, or.."

 

"..Or if I had held the window open from the outside while reaching around Biff to stab him. Fine, you got me, Dani" Kevin said quietly, with a sigh. "I did it. But you're really the reason I got into this whole mess".

 

"Me?" Dani replied, somewhat surprised.

 

"That stupid photo competition thing. You told me to take pictures and to have fun. Well, I had a fun time and I really got into taking pictures. In fact, I got some funny pictures .. but as a *joke*, nothing more - I think you know the ones I'm talking about. Come on, even you have to admit the one of Brad was funny".

 

"Well, sure.." Dani agreed, cautiously.

 

"When Biff came around to collect the paper I'd written for him, he found the photographs - I had both the paper and photos hidden of course, but stupidly in the same hiding place. He asked what they were. I just told him they were a joke, but he didn't get it. I had to put it in terms he'd understand: the people in the photos didn't want others to know about it, so I could probably toy with them a little, you know, make Mikey wear lederhosen, that kinda thing".

 

Dani smirked at the thought of Mikey in lederhosen.

 

"Biff obviously had different ideas of what it would be fun to do to people, and what he wanted. He took the photos, and well, I had no recourse. What am I going to do? Ask Biff nicely? Go to you? I couldn't risk revealing I'd snapped those pics after he started what he did, especially when he had the paper I'd written for him. I'd hoped he wouldn't realize he could use that to blackmail ME. No such luck. The way he was carrying on too, it was only a matter of time before he got into trouble, and then I'd be in trouble too, and out on my ear, no future".

 

Dani nodded. "So you told him you had a way of getting him a lot more money, hence the museum robbery".

 

Kevin shrugged. "Biff was stupid, he believed the stuff in here was of real value. If I wanted, I could have convinced him to rob the library. All he thought about was the money, and he believed me".

 

"The stuff in here actually is valuable, Kevin. That pot you broke was worth probably $40,000". Dani said with a shrug.

 

Kevin blinked and laughed. "Just my luck".

 

Dani smiled. "If you ha-"

 

Kevin's arm shot out and grabbed Dani by the neck. His warm, laconic expression melted away to be replaced with something a lot more primal and sinister. "But we digress. I've performed academic misconduct, conspired to grand robbery (given the value of the stuff in the place) and committed a murder. We're beyond non-accredited Universities now, Dani. We're into accredited prisons, and I'm not doing that. I'm sorry, Dani. You get marks for setting such a clever mousetrap, but lose them all over again with being the mouse caught in it".

 

He had only began to squeeze when he felt a paw on his shoulder. He let Dani drop the ground and placed his paw at his side. She coughed and rubbed her neck for a moment before looking up into Kevin's eyes, meeting his uneven stare.

 

"Cops, right?" he asked, without looking around.

 

"Something like that" the hyena security guard replied as he cuffed Kevin's paws together. "We got it all on tape, Dani, like you said. Where you going?"

 

"Got a vacancy in my dorm that needs filling" Dani replied, walking out of the museum into the cold, grey morn. "Two, actually" she added, sadly.

 

"Goodbye, Kevin".

 

THE END.

 

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