heres something funny that happened some blond named Elizabeth Howell sent me an e-mail (how this blond knew how to email i'm not sure) claiming to be the presedent of the smart blond club and thinks she can get me in trouble for these blond jokes is that funny or what

Warning: if your hair is a blond/yellow color please click on the button on your key board that looks like this

try and do the puzzles below, if you can't do them then your a dumb blond

Blond jokes

joke 1: How do blonds burn cd's? They just throw it in the fireplace

joke 2: Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"

joke 3: A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?" The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

joke 4:A blond was driving along a country road, listening to the radio. The D.J. was telling blonde jokes one after the other, and she got extremly pissed off and turned of the radio. She continued down the road, and in a field she saw another blond in a canoe trying to row across the field. She stopped and got out of the car, and yelled across to the other blond, "It's Blondes like you who make everyone think I'm stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and give you a piece of my mind!"

joke 5: One day, a brunette was skipping on some train tracks singing "21, 21, 21, 21," Along came a blonde who thought it looked like fun. So she joined in and started singing "21, 21, 21, 21," and then a train came. The brunette jumped off the tracks but the train ran over the blonde. The brunette got back on the train tracks and started singing "22, 22, 22, 22,..."

joke 6: There were five blondes and one brunette holding onto a rope off the edge of a cliff. But their rope could only bear the weight of of five people. The brunette said, "Save yourselves. I'll let go." Impressed by her sacrifice, all of the blondes clapped...

joke 7: A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.

joke 8: What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted!

joke 9:Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!" The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?" One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"

joke 10:Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag. 1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?" 2nd blonde: "Chickens." 1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?" 2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have BOTH of them!!" 1st blonde: Well, I think you've got three."

joke 11: Q: What do u do if a blond throws a grenade at u? A: Pick it up and take the pin out and throw it back at her

joke 12: How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below) How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)

joke 13: A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

joke 14: Q:What do Barbie and Britney Spears have in common? A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic

joke 15: Q: Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job? A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!

joke 16: Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on? A: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.''

joke17: A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'' ''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.'' A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car

joke 18: How many blonde jokes are there? None, they're all true!

joke 19: A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, ''I've kidnapped you.'' She then wrote a note saying,''I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.'' The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, ''How could you do this to a fellow blonde?''

joke 20: A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!." Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. Afterover an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

joke 21: What do you call a blond with a fully developed brain? Lisa Simpson!

joke 22:A blonde wanted to win the lotto so she prayed to god, and she lost. Next week she prayed to god again, and she lost. The week after she prayed to god, and she lost. She said to god, why wont you let me win? God replied, How about buying a ticket first?

joke 23:Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common? A. You always hear about them but never see them.

joke 24:Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor? A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!

joke 25:Q. How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? A. There is white out on the screen.

joke 26: (fact) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (most blonds are like that to.)

joke 27: A blond buys a clicker goes home with it and trys to use it but it doesent work so she goes to a repair shop and asks the repair man if he can fix it he says "shure just ba back in a week and by then i will have it fixed" the blond comes back a week later asks "did you fix it?" he says "there's nothing wrong with it you just forgot to put in batteries"

joke 28: Q:Why did the blond pass her last math test? A: because the one thing blonds are good at is multipling!

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