V-Chips & Values

 

by Clark H. Smith

 

By now you’ve heard of the “V-chip,” a device for new televisions designed to filter TV programs based on ratings similar to the movie ratings system.

Not long ago, I (along with my family) had a discussion on the V-chip with a reporter from a local TV affiliate. She saw it as a good idea for busy parents who can’t always be there with their children. But I disagreed. That view suggests that parents don’t need to be as vigilant as they should be.

After all, who is rating the shows? Do they share my values? Do they love my children as much as I do? No, I am the only one who can determine the values I want my children to live by, and teach the disciplines that those values require.

And what does a parent communicate to children by saying, “This show must be okay for you—the TV ratings board said so.” Sooner or later, they’re going to either wonder or ask right out loud, “Hey, Dad, don’t you have an opinion on this?” Should I defer to an unknown third party when it comes to the standards in my own home?

More recently, the V-chip people are running ads touting the “value” of the new rating system. After a series of clips on what’s wrong in the world, a voice closes with this: “Of all the things you are concerned about these days, what your child is watching on television shouldn’t be one of them.”

This is the exact opposite of truth! What goes into our children’s minds may be the greatest thing we should be concerned about. We can’t let a V-chip take our place as sole arbiter of what is proper for our children’s minds and lives.

This problem—and the need for parents to take a stand when it comes to our children—is actually thousands of years old. In Exodus 34:15-16, God tells the parents in the Nation of Israel not to enter into relationships with pagan peoples, lest the children assume that since Mom and Dad seem to co-exist with these folks, they must be all right. The Israelite parents compromised their standards, and the children gravitated toward the values and beliefs of the new, pagan society.

What one generation does not take a stand against, the next generation will take a stand with.

 

TAKING A STAND

In reality, this issue is larger than V-chips, remotes, and time management. The question is, “What are my values, and how firmly do I stand for them?” Values, it seems, lurk around every corner—family values, shared values, community values, global values, sociopolitical values, etc. But how valuable are our values to us? Our most important mark in life is the stand we take for our values.

Let’s put you on the spot. Rather than asking what your values are, can you identify an incident where you demonstrated allegiance to specific values?

Have you turned off an offensive TV show?

Have you encouraged someone who demonstrated honesty?

Have you picked up a piece of litter not your own?

Have you praised someone who shared unselfishly?

Have you determined to drive the speed limit?

Have you corrected a cashier who erred in your favor?

Have you rebuked a wrongdoer whom you did not know personally?

Have you written a congressperson to urge an action?

Have you forgiven a wrong done to you?

Have you confessed a wrong you did?

Is your life conspicuously marked by actions that affirm your values? These actions demonstrate—to your children, neighbors, extended families, and communities—that you not only possess values, but also have the discipline to live by them.

Fathers are in a position to live conspicuous, disciplined lives. Consider for example the “corner-of-the-eye” experience: you and your kids are watching TV, talking to a neighbor, or engaged in some other activity with the world. A word is said or something is done that conflicts with the values developing in your children. They don’t risk an outright, “Was that okay?” They just glance up at you out of the corner of their eye.

In their hearts they are asking, “Hey, Dad, is that a word that we use in our family?” They are saying, “Dad, I’ve got about half of this game of life figured out, but I don’t want you to know it’s only half. So would you please help me know more clearly what I should think about this?” In that moment, your child is giving you permission to take a stand on your values.

Imagine how different the world would have been if those Israelite parents had stood for their values. Even more, imagine what the world—your children’s world—will be like if you stand for yours.