Rod's Web Apartment

Acknowledgements

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Website Special Futures

A brilliant and useful passage, quotations, poems, text messages, jokes and many more coming from different writers and word collectors only here in my page which compile and rearranged by yours truly to give you a complete tour.

Friendship Pinoy Jokes Short Poems
Quotations Dr. Love Text messages
Others

Warning: Some piece of this futures my not be suitable for adults they must be accompanied by minors. Medyo korni kase.. well try to read it pa rin for the sake of your eyes. And if you are alone?? simple lang ang pagtawa ha! Baka kase magmukang... secret!!!

Kamote at Sawa         Ambisyoso          Pilosopo
Siopaw                       Ignorante            Bopol
Asenso Na                  Swiside               Agaw-buhay
Buong Katawan          Toothpick            Others

Select Category

The Constitution of Love

Preamble: We the people young at heart in order to form a perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug through
the popularity of love stated and established in the constitution of love amended by the author.
The Law: It is not to kiss who you please, but to please who you kiss.
The Code:The shortest word is "I", and the sweetest word is "LOVE� and the person must have this is "YOU� therefore we generate a code called �I LOVE YOU�.
Statement of laws: If your love is a language, we have a lot of talking to do.
Judgement: If a person hates another person, the person has the right to kiss him or her anywhere they please.
Catch: After reading this page, you must kiss right away the author of this page.
Caution: Only a member of the opposite sex. "Remember....! you must kiss that person now".

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Method of Love
A. Kiss on the cheek - friendship
B. Kiss on the hand - I adore you
C. Kiss on the lips - I Love you
D. Kiss on the neck - I want you
E. Kiss anywhere else - Don't get carried away
F. Playing with hair - I can't live without you
G. Arms around each other -
    I love you too much so.. lets get married!
H. Look deeply into your eyes - Kiss me you fool
Hint
A. Don't kiss with your eyes opens
    (It's not polite to stare)
B. Don't give up (The other person just might be shy)
Rules
A. Thou shall not squeeze hard
B. Thou shall handle with care
C. Thou shall not say sh_t! of anyone that messes with     your man/women no matter what the cause maybe
D. Thou shall not be curly
E.Thou must know the constitution of Love.

Select Category   More Love Quotes

Quotations

The works of the great poets have never yet been read by mankind, for only great poets can read them.

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

I don't speak for others and they don't speak for me.
In a mad world, only the mad are sane.
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
In wildness is the preservation of the world.
If you believe everything you read better not read.
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.

Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world.

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

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Friends

Be a friend of thousands, be a lover of one, give your smile to everyone but give your hearth to only one.

How to test a true friend? 1st, hang him upside down then burn him alive, then thrown him alive to the deepest part of the ocean. Then If he/she�s not comes back then he/she�s not a true friend. ?

Friends is one souls in two bodies.
Friendship is not having the ability or inability but having the availability to show that you care.

Some people pretend to be friends and will act friendly when they don't mean it, why would someone be a phony friend?

You make me smile, you make me feel fine and you make me go on through my life. What else should I asked God, I have the most precious thing in life, having you as a friend.

Select Category More Friend Quotes

I Love You
Is there anyway to be there now?
if there is, I don't know how
I want you, miss you, need you so..
yet the absence makes love grow
when the time comes for us to meet,
it's that the time I will complete
you are the other half of me,
the other half that holds the key
the key that unlocked
what's the ending of our story
I love you.

Making It Work
My love for him is so strong
I know it could last so long
But it takes two, to make it work
All I see on his face is a smerk
What do I have to do
To make you realize that I want you
I'm starting to think it maybe to soon
To much to comsume
But when your ready for something new
I"ll be waiting to make something true
And when this happens, us together
I hope it lasts now and forever!

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Refound Love
I want for you to trust me
To open up inside
And know I'll always be there
With you at your side
No matter what has happened
My love for you stays strong
So I make a solemn promise
To never do you wrong
I thought that I was losing you
That you had gone astray
But here you still loving me
'Till this very day.

Miss Him Much
I miss him from the moment he leaves
I miss him when I see the butterflies and bees.
I miss him late at night, in my dreams
I miss him when it's been years, it seems.
I miss him when I see the morning sun
I miss him when the first week is done.
I miss him when I hear our song
I miss him when I say his joke wrong.
I miss him much and wish she'd be home soon.

Back Select Category

Text Messages

Aren't you glad that God's hotline doesn't have a recording which says "sorry, all angels are busy now, please try your call later". You can call Him anytime.

This message has no fat, no cholesterol, no additives. This is all natural, well except for a whole lot of sugar�but can never be as sweet as the one reading it. YOU!!

To have you is worth-living, to lose u is worth-crying, to be with you is time worth-spending. and to text you is worth-one peso! well its ok coz ur special.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to keep you happy and�..enough money to text me.

Afternoon prayer: Dear God, thank you for giving me this wonderful life. Please forgive me for my sins and help me become someone not as naughty as the one I'm texting right now. AMEN.

Select Category More Text Messages

Special Futures
Millennium Couple Equations
Boy guwapo + Girl ganda = Made in heaven
Boy guwapo + Girl panget = True love
Boy panget + Girl ganda = Galing diskarte
Boy panget + Girl panget = No choice

Do you think? Magkakapatid kaya sina
Michael V, Gary V, Jolli Bee at Voltes V?
Nanay kaya nila si Ate Vee?

Girls Prayers By-age
At 20, Lord, give me the best man
At 25, Lord, give me a good man
At 30, Lord, give me any man
At 40, Lord na-man!!

Choose your type of Date
If you want somebody for a day, get a date
If you want somebody for a week, get a fling
If you want somebody for a year get a lover
But if you want somebody for life, just point your browser here.. the Author will take care of you.

Click here for more..

Pilosopo
MR NILO: I am your teacher, I am good in three languages.
BEN: What are the subjects you're good at?
MR NILO: Oh, I like Math and English.
BEN: How do you say 'good morning' in Algebra?

Kamote at Sawa
Usapang lasing sa isang kanto.
BADONG: Alam mo pare, doon sa bukid ng lolo ko! Minsay naghukay kami ng kamote, biruin mo, nakahukay kami ng kamoteng kasinglaki ng simbahan ng Mariveles?!
TORANG: Sisiw yan pare, sa sawang dumaan sa likod-bahay namin! Noong kasalukuyang dumadaan yung ulo nung sawa, nag-aalmusal kami. Noong dumaan yong buntot, naghahapunan na kami!
BADONG: Ang yabang mo naman, pare, may sawa ba namang ganon kahaba? Niloloko mo naman ako eh.
TORANG: O sige, pareng Badong, para magkasundo tayo, liitan mo yung kamote mo at iiksian ko naman yung sawa ko!

More Jokes

Bopol
Isang pasyente ang dumating sa klinika ni Doc Ronald.
ETOY: Doctor, natatandaan n'yo pa ba ako?
DOCTOR: Parang nakita na kita.
ETOY: Ako ho iyong pasyente ninyo last year.
DOCTOR: Ikaw nga! Ano ba ang maipaglilingkod ko?
ETOY: Itatanong ko ho sana sa inyo kung puwede na akong maligo! nyrrgk!!!

Tootpick
Ignorante si Juan: Eksena sa isang restaurant:
Lalaki: Waiter.. isa nga chicken please..
Juan: Ah! Witer.. ako din isang siken press..
Makaraan ang ilang sandali ay natapos ng kumain ang lalaki, gayun din si Juan na patuloy parin hinihintay ang susunod na gagawin ng lalaki.
Lalaki: Waiter.. tootpick please..
Juan: Ah! Witer.. ako din potpick press..
At nag tootpick na ang lalaki ngunit tinakpan niya ang kanyang bibig, at gayun din naman ang ginawa ni Juan at dahil sa hindi niya nakita ang ginawa ng lalaki ay maluha-luha at dugo-dugo ang ILONG neto ng inalis niya ang kanyang kamay sa pagkakatakip.

More Jokes

Siopaw
Sa isang paligsahan ng palakihan ng boobs.
HOST: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Japan! Kasinglaki ng pinggan ang dibdib. Palakpakan ang mga tao.
HOST: Here's Miss USA! Kasinglaki ng unan. Lalong lumakas ang palakpakan.
HOST: Please welcome, Miss India! Kasinglaki ng palanggana ang dibdib. Sigawan ang mga tao.
HOST: And now, Ladies and gentlemen, last but not the least, Miss Philippines!
Kasinglaki ng Siopao. "Boo! Boo! Boo!" sabi ng mga tao, "Talo na yan!"
HOST: Teka! Nipples pa lang yan!

Asenso Na
BONI: Kumusta na? Long time no see ah!
PACIO:Kararating ko lang galing sa Africa.
BONI: Africa?"
PACIO:Doon kami nadestino.
BONI: Hindi ba maraming cannibals doon?
PACIO:Nakakatakot nga, pero mga edukado na ngayon sila.
BONI: Hindi na ba sila kumakain ng tao?
PACIO:Nangangain pa rin ng tao, pero gumagamit na ng kutsara!

More Jokes

Swiside
Napadaan si Teteng sa bahay ng kaibigang si Betong.
Teteng: O.. Betong bakit mo hinahasa yan?
Betong: magpapakamatay ako...
Teteng: E bakit mo pa hinahasa yan?
Betong: Sira ka ba? e kung matetano ako.

Agaw Buhay
Nakaupo sa tabi ng kanyang asawang agaw-buhay si Juan. Hawak hawak niya ang kamay nito at nararamdaman ni Juan na hindi na magtatagal at babawian na ng buhay ang kanyang asawa.
Asawa: Juan, bago ako mamatay, mayroon akong ipagtapat sa iyo.
Juan: Mahal, huwag ka ng magsalita at makakasama pa sa iyo.
Asawa: Pero Juan, kailangan talagang malaman mo na...
Juan: Sssshhhh, kung ano man iyon ay hindi na mahalaga, ang importante ay nasa tabi mo ako sa huling sandali mo rito sa mundo.
Asawa: Juan, nais kong ipagtapat sa iyo na pinag-taksilan kita, sana ay patawarin mo ako.
Juan: Alam ko iyon, kaya nga kita NILASON e!

More Jokes

Ambisyoso
EDSON: Inay, kelan po ba tayo bibili ng bapor?
SABEL: Malapit na anak.
EDSON: Kelan nga po?
SABEL: Pag may sarili na tayong dagat!

I was planing to buy a big pokemon doll, na nakita ko sa mall, kaya lang, nagalit sakin ang sales lady, sabi ko lang naman; Miss pwede ko bang makita yung Pokemong malaki

Ngayong tumaas ang presyo ng gasolina, isa lang ang masasabi natin sa Shell, Petron at Caltex: FULTANKINA NYONG LAHAT!

Nasa elevator ka wid ur crush. bigla kang napautot. Ano ang gagawin mo? MAGPAKATOTOO KA! Smile, tapos sabihin mo: Hi!, cute ng Text Tone ko No? SCENTED pa!

An ALCOHOLIC Son wrote a letter to his Dad. BEER Dad, GIN na ko iinom ulit, WHISKEYkelan, TANDUAYAN nyo yan. tiTEQUILAN ko na! phRUMis. your SAN, MIGUEL

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Ignorante
Lumuwas ang mag-amang Betong at Isko ng Maynila upang dalawin ang isang malapit na kamag-anak na may malubhang karamdaman. At ng nasa ospital na ang dalawa ay sumakay sila ng elevator.
Anak: "Pabulong na sinabi ni Betong" Itay! magkano po ang ibabayad natin dito.
Ama: "Galit na galit at nakasigaw ang amang si Isko" Tangi, bobo, inosente, ignorante nakakahiya ka!!!
Bakit tayo magbabayad e wala pa tayong TIKET.
Buong Katawan
Isang magandang dalaga ang nagpunta sa doctor upang magpagamot.
Dalaga: Doc, masyado pong masakit ang buong katawan ko.
Doctor: Hmmmmnnn, buong katawan? Be more specific.
Bahagyang diniinan ng dalaga ng kanyang hintuturo ang kanyang tuhod, at siya ay namilipit sa sakit, halos di pa nakakanti ng kanyang hintuturo ang kanyang siko ng ituro niya ito sa Doctor at siya ay mapapaiyak sa matinding sakit, ganoon din ang resulta ng ituro niya kanyang ulo, kamay, mukha, paa at iba pang bahagi ng kanyang katawan. "Doc, baka po kaya mayroon na akong AIDS, kaya nakulam ako?"
Doctor: Kung hindi ka ba naman sira. Eh, BALI ang hintuturo mo.
More Jokes

Author's Guide in Life
- Keep in mind that wrongdoings adds to ur trouble, subtracts from ur energy and multiplies your difficulties.
- Just keep working for God, the pay may not be that much but the retirement plan is out of this world.
- Just be a man among all those men.
- Never regret the choices you've made, always be satisfied for what you have, now life isn't perfect, it's a blend of joy and sorrow. Its just a matter of how you deal with it.
- God�s answer our prayers in 3 ways:
Yes I give what you want
No I�ll give you something better than what you want
Wait I give the best but in my own time.
- What a shame that in life we only get our lessons when they are useless for us.
- Becoming fully trustworthy individuals living up to our own truth makes easier to decide and trust others.
- Always keep in mind that with drugs, no one can get away clean.
- We must be aware that life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.

Finished

People Comments and 1st Impression
- well ur nice naman kya lang ur so serious. and its like u dnt know how to have fun.
- my time na parang wala ka sa mood makipgusap na prang galit ka. kaya careful nako magbiro sayo.
- mabait ka, ok lang, kaya lang napaka mudy mo
yon lng po
- you look so serious lang parang nerd.
- alam mo pare wagka lang masyado magpupuyat para tumaas pogi points mo hehe
- suplado dating mo sakin nung una kita makita..
hindi ba naman pansinin ang beauty ko??
- my 1st impresion is dat ur weird kc nung una kita makita may kausap ka sa phone ang tagal-tagal and ryt after dat computer naman.
- pre boring ka pagusapan alang thrill sayo =) joke!
- gosh! alam mo hangang ngayon hindi pa kita ganon ka kalala.. ur not talking too much kase bout urself.. but I found u nice naman! so called real people
- I just call u Mr. Nice guy
- lagi panis laway kase hindi ka pala-imik!
- kuripot, torpedo s mga chick, my topak din nman minsan, (bading) joke!! ala kse chick, pero ala dingdong dantes pare pautang =)

Finished

Hi.. welcome to my new Web Apartment, WARNING: Some piece of this futures may not be suitable for your eyes health, well guys as you see I'll made a sort of revisions. Enjoy surfing in. gracias!

Mini Slumbook                 Special Futures
Photo Gallery                  Tour Guide
Guiding Principle             Acknowledgements
Testimonials

Take a look on one of the words endangered species, as he comes out in different types of species in the animal kingdom as reptiles, arthropod and mammals.

Counter-Terrorist Gallery
Movie Gallery
TV Series
Artless Gallery
Swimming Sa Majayjay Gallery
Friends at Vitarich SPC Laguna

Mini Slumbook
Real Name: Ronald Creo Barias
Nick Name: wally, ClarK (KapaL) hehe
Company: AREA23 Bring you to the future.
Religion: Catholic
Height: 5' 6"
School: VYP-MSC school for al the nice guy
Course: Doin computer stuffs.
Date of Birth: November 19, i forgot the year =)
E-mail Address:[email protected]
URL Add:http://geocities.com/clark_kent_ph/index.htm

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Favorites
TV Program: Outer Limits, Macgyver, Anim� Cartoons
Sports: Basketball, Billiards
Pet: Becky the Cat, Wesly and Stumpy(R.I.P.)
Color: White, Black and Green
Food: Chopsuey? well kahit ano basta masarap hehe!
Actor: Jet Lee, Bruce Lee, Jacky Chan
Movie: Bodyguard from Beijing, The Rock, Vertical Limits
Kind of Music: anything.. unless anti-Christ
Male Singer: John Lenon, Rico Blanco & Brix Perraris
Band: Beatles, Rivermaya, Eraserheads, Freestyle

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Others
Weakness: If my mind start thinkin negative
Strength: When people appreciate my work
Embarrassing moment: Being born w/out clothes hehe
What are you most afraid of? be a slave of wealth
Likes: Anything that doesn't involve too much pain
Dislikes: foodstuff with garlic, cucumber
Pastime: pressing keys on computer keyboards
If you could change one thing about your self what would it be? Wala na siguro, happy nako for what God gave me, pro pagpilit nyoko more success na lang =)

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Others
What else do you want to achieve in the future?
A plain and peaceful life and maybe a happy family under me, pa serious effect no? bagay ba?
How do you describe your self? I'm a quiet person, more oftenly by myself, but I'm friendly naman in a sense that I treat everybody the same.
Rate your sex appeal, from 1 to 10 excellent is ten:
four fluctuating to five, minsan below zero pa nga e!
Do you have any girl friend? umm.. yeah! but she doesn't know that she's my gurlfriend! pag nalaman nya break n kami.

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Others
Did you ever ask a girl for a date?
well I do respect gurls pro ayaw nila e..
ayaw nila ko ayain for a date! hehe
Did you ever try having two girl friends at a time? tanungin bko ng gnon? nsa itsura ko ba? ofcorse not!
What kind of girls that turns you on?
A fun-loving girl, sweet and understanding
Girls that turns you off?
yun bang hindi asal gurl, masungit, lagi pang holyweek ang face and liar.

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Others
What is the ideal age for you to get married? for me age is not a question the question is.. am I ready to get married? if its yes! that's the ideal time.
Are you searching for the right girl for you now?
No I'm not.. for now I'm trying to put myself to stable.
But I will, soon.. =)
Do you believe in love at first sight? yes I guess!?
A final word for all the surfers out der: Well guys just feed your mind, good day and gracias 4droppin by.

Special thanks to ate Tin� for making questions. Finished

Tour Guide

Ronald: Know more about the author with his slumbook and pictures gallery.
Links: A collection of passage, quotations, poems, text messages, jokes and many more coming from different writers and word collectors.
GuestBook: Feel free to View or Sign my Guestbook
Chatroom: meet friends online at globalpinoy.com
Email: If you have something to tell, comments, suggestions or violent reaction hehe feel free to say it.

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