Clarisse sat up in bed abruptly, glancing to her left she noted that Joseph�s side of the bed was crumpled, he�d slept with her, she didn�t remember it. Running her hand through her hair she fought to recall what had happened the previous evening, nothing made sense, and her head ached so much.
�Good morning.�
She glanced over to the door where Joseph stood; he was smartly dressed in a dark blue suit.
�I was just about to wake you, I ordered Tea and a little breakfast for you, we have to leave in under two hours.�
She shook her head. �Leave for what?�
�European Agriculture Union, the Winter Palace, why do you think I�m dressed like this?�
She shrugged. �Perhaps you wanted to make an impression��
He stepped closer to he bed. �I don�t wish to argue with you this morning.�
She allowed herself to glance up at him, the mark where she had hit him was still visible, she closed her eyes again.
�Please.� He said gently resting his hand on her forehead. �We can�t avoid this, too many dignitaries, too many eagle eyes� we are the host nation.�
�I�m well aware of that.� Her eyes snapped open and she finally sat up pushing his hand away. �I�m not hungry so you can cancel breakfast and I�d appreciate a little privacy whilst I shower and dress.�
�Of course your majesty.� He bowed extravagantly before exiting the bedroom and closing the doors.
Clarisse stared after him, or better stared at the closed door for quite some time. Her mind was still numb and she felt a headache forming instantly just behind her temples. Too much crying did that to her.
Then his words registered fully. The Agriculture Union. Host country. The Winter palace. And Mia on her official tour of the Benelux-countries. She had to do the honours. And she had less then two hours to make herself presentable enough to hide the fact that she had had a - oh goodness - a bout of hysteria the night before. And she would have to act as if nothing was wrong, as if their marriage was absolutely perfect.
He would be there!
She squeezed her eyes shut and bowed her head as the enormity of the situation hit. She would have to put on the show of her life today. With a weary sigh, Clarisse dragged herself out of bed. If she had to put on an award-winning performance, she better make sure that she looked perfect for it.
The shower was the easy part, even though she had to turn on the cold water to chase the numbness away. Her hair was easily done. The make-up turned out to be some work, but nothing compared to choosing the appropriate outfit. Years of experience had taught Clarisse just how much people judged the situation for the clothes she wore, from the colours she wore. Recalling the black disaster a few days ago, she quickly decided on a lighter colour.
Dressed in a simple pale powder pink dress and a matching jacket she eyed herself in the mirror. With her heels on she stood tall and elegant, the picture of elegance and cool, calm composed, inside she was falling apart. How could she possibly stand next to him all day and remain that picture of calmness, a happy wife, when her heart was breaking?
Dwelling on this for too long helped none and she was torn from her reverie by a light tap on the door.
�Yes?�
Joseph pushed the door opened and smiled gently at her. �You look wonderful.�
�Please don�t, we have to be civil today, that�s all.�
�Are we ever going to sit down and talk about this properly? Are you ever going to grant me the courtesy of hearing my side of the story?�
�There is nothing you could say that would change my mind��
�What?�
She marched past him, he followed wanting to continue the conversation but she had exited the room and was quickly making her way down the corridor. She didn�t even take a coat, he rushed back to her closet and chose a long white coat, it would have to do.
She was in the foyer chatting to Charlotte when he approached; she glanced over at him noting the coat over his arm.
�You never told me it had snowed.� She said sharply to him.
�Erm it still is your majesty, we could cancel�� Charlotte said hopefully.
�Absolutely not, come on Joseph, we mustn�t be late.�
He stood behind her holding her coat and helping her into it, how the hell was he supposed to deal with this today? It was the first time he�d ever attended one of these events as her husband� and today of all days she hated him, thought he had lied to her and deceived her. His heart ached; he couldn�t escape that feeling of emptiness, of blackness enveloping him. And yet somehow he was still so damned angry with her, that she could suspect such a thing, that she could spy on him and convince herself of his guilt without even talking to him� as if she wanted to believe it. Always so bloody self-righteous.
She snapped her heels on the marble floor and he slowly followed her outside. The wind was the first thing he noticed, icy cold, the snow was still light although the covering on the ground was getting deep. The drive had been cleared though, they should be okay, it was a short drive to the Winter Castle, one they�d made many times before. He nodded to Shades then climbed in the backseat next to her.
For a while they simply sat in silence, she stared directly ahead, he gazed out the window at the landscape of white surrounding them. The snow was getting heavier, showering down upon them.
�What did you mean, nothing I could say would change your mind, change your mind over what?�
�I don�t want to discuss this now.�
�Well I do, and I�m in this marriage too.�
�A fact you seem to conveniently forget when you�re entertaining Ms. De Marcos.�
�Anna is a friend.�
�Oh I�m sure she is�� she removed her gloves and folded them in her lap. �And just what does your �friend� actually do for you?� She allowed herself a cold glance at his face. �Hmm, what is it that I got so wrong, please inform me.�
�This is ridiculous.�
�Is it? I�m not so sure, I mean perhaps if you�d told me exactly what you wanted I could have performed it. I know I�m not as young and agile as she is but��
�Clarisse!� He raised his voice. �I�m sick to death of this, it stops now!�
She twisted to face him. �You wanted to discuss this. Or is it too embarrassing, do you not wish to discuss our sorry sex life.�
�I said stop! This isn�t you, you don�t behave like this.�
�How would you know? You�ve been too busy getting laid elsewhere.�
He grabbed her wrist, raising her arm. �I don�t care who you are, you don�t talk to me like that.�
�Let go of my arm�� She pulled in his tight grasp, feeling her skin squeeze in his fingers. �Let go of me� Joseph�� Her voice suddenly altered, taking on a lower, fearful tone.
His grip loosened but he still held her �I would never hurt you.�
�You already have.�
�Not purposefully, never,�
She yanked her arm from him and moved across the seat putting some distance between them. �Just because I�m a woman doesn�t mean I�m weak.�
�I never said you were� god Clarisse I can�t keep doing this, stop measuring me up against Rupert, I�m not him, all right I�m not him. How can this marriage work if you keep comparing us� waiting for me to attack every time we have an argument.�
�We don�t have a marriage.�
�Yes we do, and I won�t let it go.�
�You have no choice� and you�ve treated me far worse than he ever did.�
�Oh don�t fool yourself, lying back and thinking you�re doing it for the country may seem justified in your eyes my dear, to me it�s rape.�
�How dare you? You have no right!�
�After the things you�ve said to me I have every right� and I suppose shrinking away from me, like you did last week, like you did just now, isn�t a sign of what went on when you argued with him. Don�t try and tell me your marriage was fine, no love but fondness, because it�s all rubbish.�
She reached across and grabbed his jacket, hitting his face. �How dare you, how dare you talk to me like that� you have no idea.�
He fought with her, battling to grab her arms and hold her still, he found he was pushing her back on the seat, kneeling on the floor. Finally she stilled, her rage contained, her face was burning, her breathing uneven and forced.
He looked up at her, raised on the seat before him, the long dress she wore had gathered around her thighs and she held onto his hands forcefully, her nails just scratching the skin.
�I want a divorce.� She seethed.
�I want you.�
"Who do you think will believe that?" She spat. She didn't care, if she hurt him now, she didn't care what she said, what she did, she just wanted to give him something of the pain she was feeling. "Who do�"
She never got any further, for at this moment his mouth was on hers in an almost violent kiss. His lips pressed against hers forcefully, his tongue demanding entrance, while with his hands he still had her wrists in a vicelike grip.
Clarisse struggled against his hands, struggled against the weight of his body covering hers, tried to escape the bruising touch of his mouth. In her open eyes the fury clearly showed, but it was matched in his as well.
She could see the fury in the usually gentle dark depth. Fury and�
Something inside her mind snapped. She still struggled against his hands, she still struggled against the weight of his body, but her lips opened and she drew his tongue in for a fierce and oh so sensual battle.
Suddenly, all she wanted was to crawl inside him, rip his clothes off, scrape her nails over his skin, losing her dress, losing her mind while he moved inside her.
Freeing one hand from his grasp, she frantically began to push at the lapels of his jacket. He must have felt it and let go of her hand. She tried to move upright, so she could place herself in a better position. That was no easy feat, for she was hell-bent on not pausing their kissing.
Gods, what had she been missing over the last few weeks. Her lips would be swollen, probably bruised. She might die of suffocation if they didn't come up for air soon. Her mouth was sticky and hurt, but gods, no she would not stop.
Her other hand kept pushing at his jacket and finally, with a small cry of victory, she managed to divest him of it. Immediately she went for his tie, practically ripping it from his throat, then for his shirt.
There was no time in her mind to even think what it would look like if she tore it apart, spilling the buttons everywhere. His hands were on her knickers, pulling them down - thank goodness, she had decided to wear stockings - and all coherent thought fled. Not even the sound of splitting seams registered.
His mouth had left hers branding its way from her mouth over her jaw to her neck. She leaned into it, desperate to get more of the heat of his touch. With his shirt wide open, she splayed her hands over his chest and then dragged her nails down his skin.
His gasp was followed by hers, when his teeth sunk into the tender skin of her neck, but it only spurred her on. She wanted more. She wanted everything and she wanted it now!
His hands were equally busy underneath her skirts and finally, finally found their way to her centre. When he touched her there she threw her head back in abandon. A low wail escaped her lips at the sensations his finger evoked.
Reluctantly, she removed her hands form his skin, but the need to be closer had become unbearable. Therefore supporting herself against the back of the seat, she pushed her hips forward, closer to him. He was clearly surprised by the move and slipped backwards a little.
It was a chance she just couldn't pass up. Leaning forward, she placed her tongue on the scratch marks her nails had already left on his chest and he flinched a little at the slightly painful sensation, but at the same time, she felt him harden against her leg. A triumphant smile crossed her face, as she felt his hands tighten his grip on her shoulders as well, holding her tight to her purpose.
The fire that had been lit with their first kiss was licking its way through her veins and she felt the heat rise even more. Her whole body was burning, the centre placed in the pit of her stomach. The knot of fire was growing and growing and swept through her body.
His mouth on her neck, his teeth nipping, his tongue laving. His hands gripping her shoulders. His heavy breathing. His consistent moans. The texture of his skin, his scent, his sound. It was consuming her, it was swallowing her whole and she was damn well enjoying every single second of it.
Her hands went down to his trousers, loosening the buckle of his belt, undoing the button, opening the fly and grasping his hard manhood. They groaned in unison at the sensation of her hand on him, stroking him through the material of his boxers.
He wasn't unoccupied himself; his hands had lost their grip on her shoulders and instead were on her breasts. It wasn't the tender, worshipping touch she was used to, but in her desire-hazed mind it was more sensual and more pleasurable than anything he had ever done to her.
Suddenly, everything went blank and only the greed to feel his skin on hers, to feel him enter her, move over and inside her existed.
She quickly freed him from the confinement of his boxers and pushed herself against him, making clear that she didn't want to wait any longer. She needn't to do so, for with a groan he crushed her body against his and without any further ado he pushed himself inside her.
His endurance must have been stretched as thin as hers, because he didn't take a moment to catch his breath, but immediately set a forceful rhythm. She arched against him, wanting, needing to be closer still. Clinging to his back as if her life depended on it, her face buried in the crook of his neck, breathing frantic kisses against his skin, just like he did against hers.
She felt the wave building, forceful like his strokes, hot like his tongue on her skin, inevitable like her desire. It travelled from her feet up her legs, rushing through her torso, over her face into her mind, blinding everything and then it fell crashing back to the pit of her stomach where it finally exploded like fire. And just like the wave a scream of triumph, pleasure, relief, release or whatever built up in her lungs to travel up her throat.
He must have felt it, for he moved his head away from her neck and caught her mouth in another bruising kiss, swallowing her scream just like she swallowed his. He held her shuddering body against his, just like she held him, when she felt his release inside her. And then everything went black.
Oh the world was perfect, he was holding her, his heart was beating against hers and he was inside her and loving her and touching her� after all these months. Her head fell back against the seat and she spread her arms out along the back of it.
Slowly Joseph separated his body from hers and moved to the seat across from her, he watched her half lying there. Her eyes closed, a red flush travelling up from her neck to her face, her body so utterly relaxed, hell he could almost hear the thudding of her heart from where he sat. He quickly tidied and readjusted his clothing.
�I apologise.� He said gently.
Her eyes slid open leisurely gazing across at him. Wearily she lifted her head. �Apologise?�
�That wasn�t how it should have been, not after all this time.� He leant forward to the floor collecting her underwear and grabbing her handbag.
She stared at him blankly, mutely. He rummaged in her bag until he found a pack of tissues and, taking one in his hand, leant forward closer to her body. She never moved as he dabbed her shoulder.
�I�m sorry if I hurt you.�
�You didn�t.�
�You�re bleeding.� He said indicating her shoulder. �I hurt you.�
�No, I wanted it too.�
They stared at each other for a second, each taking in the severity of their actions.
�It shouldn�t have been that way� you weren�t meant for that, it should be about love.�
She swallowed, never breaking the eye contact. �Is that why you go to her, is that how you wanted it to be?�
His head dropped and he was silent for a second, then he shook his head desperately. �How many times do we have to do this, huh?�
She turned her head away glancing out the window, condensation had formed on the glass, then she felt his hand touch her shoulder. Grabbing his hand she tore the tissue from him.
�I can clean myself��
�Fine.�
He moved away from her again.
She was grateful that he turned his head as she dressed, she couldn�t face his eyes upon her, not now. Opening her handbag she located her compact and dabbed her skin with concealer, placing it along the marks on her neck. Then she brushed her hair and sprayed a little perfume on her skin, it didn�t help she still smelt of him, everything smelt of him. Arranging her scarf carefully to conceal the deep red mark at the base of her neck she finally addressed him again.
�Do I look okay, can you see any� thing?�
He glanced up at her, his eyes suddenly looked immensely tired, red and heavy. He rubbed his chin as he stared at her. �You look fine, perfectly�� His shoulders slumped. �God Clarisse I�m so sorry, I�m no better than he was��
She never had the chance to answer him for the car suddenly jerked forward, she flew across the seat and landed against Joseph�s chest, he held her arms as the car swerved on the ice. The entire vehicle seemed to shake and she clung to her husband�s arms inches from his face. With a thud they came to a grinding halt and she fell back again, this time with Joseph�s body pressed against hers.
�You�re alright�� He muttered. He gripped her arms tighter when she didn�t answer. �Clarisse, are you alright?�
She nodded, staring at his face, taking in the sheer amount of concern that flitted across it. �Yes, I�m alright.�
Part 10
Joint Stories