Hold Onto
Me:
Sequel
to High Stakes
[email protected]
There are several people I need
to thank for this story…Swoopes, Froggie, Dakota, Mel, Jamie, Gabelle,
and Pam.
You guys are the greatest and without
you this story would have never been finished.
And thank you Froggie because without
you the RAM would have been totaled again.
It’s because of you guys that I
continue writing.
You all pushed me to get this done
and here it is…I hope you all enjoy.
"Oh
Walker, it's absolutely beautiful up here!" Alex said as Walker parked
the RAM at the base of the mountain in Evergreen Colorado. Walker
had found her notes, just a few days before. When he had entered
her apartment and found it empty he could have died at that moment.
He had blamed himself repeatedly for not listening to her. She had
needed him, wanted to spend some togetherness and he had pushed her away.
Instead he should have accepted, should have taken her away. But
he was so darn stubborn. Now they both were paying, Walker blaming
himself and most importantly Alex having been violated in a way no one
person should have. So once Alex had been released from the hospital Walker
had gotten everything together and had taken her away.
"Walker…Hon…" Walker was pulled from his daydream and found Alex's beautiful
eyes looking at him with concern.
"I'm sorry Alex, what were you saying?"
"Just how beautiful it is here." Alex knew he blamed himself for what had
happened and she tried to tell him none of it had been his fault.
She should have known better than to suggest a crazy idea like getting
away while he was on a big case. What had happened was a tragedy
no one could have prevented it. Fredricks had wanted her the pictures
showed that. Alex was trying to heal and for that she needed the
one person she had come to trust and rely over the years. He had
rescued her from so much and she couldn’t' let him blame himself for what
had happened. She knew Walker couldn’t always be there in the nick of time,
she would have to prove that he saved her every day just by loving her.
The RAM was left at the bottom of the mountain and with the help of a guide
they made their way up to the cabin, on horseback. The cabin was
secluded, nothing with in miles of them. Using the notes Alex had
made before begin kidnapped he had found the perfect spot. Once at
the cabin Walker and Alex took their gear and the guide took the horses
down the mountain. Before he left he promised to return in one week
to get them. One week, with no one but each other. Alex couldn't
think of a better way to help each other through their ordeals.
"Okay, well I'm unpacked. Let's go explore!" Alex said exiting the
bedroom to find Walker lying on the couch. He hadn't flinched when
she had exited. Walking over quietly she went to the sofa and leaned
forward just a bit to see if Walker was asleep when he suddenly grabbed
her, pulling her down on top of him.
Both started laughing as Walker brushed a strand of hair from her eyes.
Bending forward Alex captured Walker's lips in a passionate lock.
She loved her cowboy, loved the way she made him melt when she kissed him
like this. No one knew it but she was the only one that could
beat him sparing. Walker said she cheated, Alex insisted she just
used the gifts God gave her. One tiny kiss strategically planted
behind the ear and she had him every time. At this point Alex would
seal her victory with a final kiss that usually ended their sparing.
"Let's go for a walk…" Alex said once the kiss ended.
"I was thinking of staying here for a little longer." Alex could only smile
at his words, they still shocked her. She let her mind wander to
several years before. Hank Sweet had called her at CD's on some information
and Walker had driven her to meet him. Once at the meeting place
they had found him, three men had been hassling him and it wasn't until
he was shot and lying in her and Walker's arms they identified him. After
getting soaked in the fountain Walker had taken Alex to her car and then
to her apartment.
She had gone to change and Walker had made himself some coffee. Walking
out of the bathroom she had on a rather short robe. Together they
sat on the couch but she remembered how he had quickly moved when she crossed
her legs. After Walker had rushed out the door, not remembering his
gun until she reminded him, Alex had chuckled with the satisfaction of
knowing she drove him crazy. He had been so flustered and today well
he still blushed if things went too far in public, but in private they
had several times walked right up to the edge where there would have been
no turning back. They had chosen, together, instead to wait for the magical
moment on their wedding night.
"Are you sure you're up to this?" Walker asked several minutes later as
they walked out the door hand in hand. The bright sun blared on their
faces and the snow was easily seen this close to the summit. Alex wanted
to check out the surroundings.
"I'm fine, my body has healed and I have my favorite cowboy." Alex saw
his face fall for a second, and knew he was still uncertain about
keeping her safe. "Walker what is it?"
"Nothing, come on let's go." Alex was hurt, she wanted to prove to him
that she didn't blame what happened on him. Again she was thankful
the vacation had come so quickly, allowing them to get past this.
The afternoon had gone by so fast. For hours they had explored the
area around their cabin. There was so much wildlife and at one point
Alex had feared the thought of a grizzly bear, but thankfully nothing happened.
After they had been gone for an hour or so they came across a small river.
The water was so clear you could see right to the bottom. Fish were swimming
freely and on the opposite bank an elk was standing in the shadows waiting
for the intruders to leave so it could get a drink. The mountains
stood in front and behind, hiding them form the outside world. They
sat next to each other on the bank, enjoying the warmth of the sun.
The water danced around the boulders, and even though it was still winter
the mountain air was only a bit crisp.
Walking back to the cabin Alex knew she was the happiest she had ever been.
Never before had a vacation been taken that involved just Walker and herself.
Sure they had gone to Cradle City Utah a few years before but that had
been business. This trip was different…it was just the two of them.
She was being a bit selfish, it would have been nice to have included others
but this was their time. Trivette was like a brother, CD was like
a father, and well Carlos and Trent they always managed to take away
precious time she could be spending with her beloved. Slightly chuckling
to herself Alex remembered one other person that had the same habit of
walking in at the wrong time, Uncle Ray.
"What's so funny?" Walker asked as they reached the cabin.
"I was just thinking of how wonderful it is to be here with you ALONE,
with no one to interrupt us. Uncle Ray always seemed to walk in at the
wrong time?"
Walker chuckled
and nodded his head. "Yeah, and this is what he wanted." He replied
kissing her quickly as they sat together on the steps. Walker draped
his arms around her shoulders and Alex laid her head against him.
She could feel the powerful muscles in his chest as her cheek rubbed slowly
against them. Turning her head she looked up at him. His attention
was now focused off into the distance and Alex feared, for a moment that
she had upset him by mentioning Uncle Ray.
"Do you miss him?" Alex asked after a few moments.
"At time I think of how happy he would be to see us together, seeing that
I finally realized what he knew all along. But I have someone to
fill the void…"
"Oh really…who would that be?"
"You my dear…" Alex could only smile at his final statement. She
too missed Uncle Ray. Uncle Ray had known since they day the two
of them met they were meant for each other, but it had taken them years
to really see it themselves…but now there was no turning back. They
were in love and maybe it was all the time they had spent fighting, who
knew, and their love was stronger than anything else in the world.
Alex could pin point the exact moment she knew how much Walker loved her,
it was when he had been willing to let her go.
For
years she had seen the jealousy when she dated casually, never straying
far from Walker, waiting for him to make a move. But then Dalton
had returned and she had been so confused, not knowing what to do.
It had been that one early morning when Walker had caught her coming out
of Dalton’s trailer. She could see the pain in his eyes. He knew
she was hurting and he had pushed her to bear her heart. As Walker
took her in his arms Alex had cried, not just because of Dalton, but also
because Walker was willing to give her up. All he wanted was her
happiness, and if it was Dalton then he would let her go. As she
had clung to Walker, there was no doubt in her mind who the right man for
her was. Sure they had difficulty, what relationship didn't,
but all it took was patience and they were at the point Alex had dreamed
of for so long. Soon they would be married. But first she had
to help him and prove that he was still her self appointed guardian and
without him she wouldn't ever be able to heal from Fredricks.
"Come here, " Walker said pulling Alex deep into his embrace. Feeling
the tension inside of her Walker knew what had to be done. Moving
to the couch Walker sat and then guided Alex so she was on the floor in
front of him. Alex felt his hands slowly begin rubbing her
neck and shoulders. Those powerful hands kneading each muscle, releasing
the tension. Her back arched into each magnificent stroke, she loved
the way he worked this magic with her body. Closing her eyes she
allowed a quiet moan of pleasure escape her lips as Walker's hands moved
down her back.
When he stopped for a second Alex moved so she was lying on her stomach.
Walker followed suit and straddling her he began massaging her entire back.
Not an inch was untouched. Each gentle stroke brought a moment of
pleasure. There was just something special in each back massage given
to her by her cowboy. Every inch of tension every minute of despair
left. It was times like these that reminded Alex that she was the
luckiest woman alive.
But there was only so much time that Alex could let go by during a massage
before she needed more. Slowly turning under Walker she moved so
she was facing him and seconds later their lips met. Alex moved her
hands to his chest and began feeling every ridged muscle. His shirt
was pulled taut and slowly her fingers slid the buttons threw the holes,
starting at the top and working her way down, until his chest was fully
exposed.
Letting her hands explore slowly she slid them to his shoulders and gently
slipped the shirt off. Following suit Walker began to undo the bindings
of her blouse and slid it off her shoulders. He was placing kisses
on her neck and tracing them down her chest stopping just above the lace.
"Walker…no…we can't..." Alex said with hesitation. She didn’t want
to push him away, she wanted to continue, wanted to make love to him, but
couldn’t.
"Alex, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Walker feared he had hurt her.
Again he had placed his own feelings above hers. Rising he grabbed
his shirt and walked into the cold night air.
Alex picked up
her blouse and quickly clothing herself she ran out after him. He
was standing on the porch looking up at the star-lit sky. Alex too
looked up and noted how they shined more brilliant on the mountain than
even at the ranch. Up there it was almost like you could reach out
and touch them. It was a breath taking sight.
"Alex, why have you stayed with me?" The question came suddenly and caught
Alex off guard.
"I'm not sure if I follow…" Alex started trying to figure what direction
this was heading.
"Over all these years Alex, why have you stayed? I couldn't stop LaRue
and I couldn't get Fredricks. I let you down again."
"Walker, I can't believe you are even talking like this. I know you can't
be every where at once. You're standing here blaming yourself for not being
there for me? Am I hearing you right?" Alex stood there for a second
until Walker slightly nodded. "Walker, you were there each and every
time. Thoughts of you holding me, kissing me, smiling at me, knowing
how much you care for me, they all got me through. What Fredricks
did was awful and yes it is going to take some time to heal from, but I
have you here and that's all I need." Alex moved so she stood directly
behind him.
"But…before…in there…I…" Walker turned to face her as she cut him off.
"Honey you did nothing. I stopped you because when we make love for the
first time I don’t want it linked back to something bad. Instead
I want to be able to think back and remember our beautiful wedding…want
to be truly and completely yours. You are the best thing that ever
happened to me. From where I stand you're stuck with me forever.
I have stayed with you because you have always been there for me, remember
you are my self-appointed guardian."
"Alex, I just try so hard to make sure that you are safe…"
"I know, and I love that. But you can't always save me from men like LaRue
and Fredricks. Your love for me is all I need every day…and it's that which
saves me. The greatest dream I have is being married to the most
wonderful man in my life. And soon that dream will come true." Walker bent
forward and captured her lips in a passionate kiss that sealed their love
once again. Alex knew that Walker was finally past the problem that
had plagued him for the past several days. Now they could begin to
enjoy their week together.
I wanna wake up each
morning
With you for the rest
of my life
I wanna feel your heart
beating
Just get lost in your
eyes
You can tell me your
secrets
You can let me feel
your pain
You can show me your
weakness
And never be shamed
That night they spent wrapped around one another in the tiny bedroom.
The cabin only came with a full sized bed and for a couple that was used
to sleeping and sharing queen-sized, well the blanket war was waged through
out the night. At one point in the night Alex grabbed the blanket
and rolled swiftly and after the blankets were torn from Walker he turned
towards her and wrapped his arms around her waist. It wasn’t long and Walker
grabbed the blanket back from her. Slowly she moved her hand from his waist
and slid it ever so delicately till it rested on his thigh. She could
fell every muscle…powerful…perfect. As her hand moved again a giggle
escaped her lips as Walker jumped, allowing her to reclaim the blankets
once again. Finally late in the night they began as they had
started wrapped around each other covered with the blankets.
"Good morning…" Alex said early the next morning. The first rays
of sun were shining through the window as Alex turned to face Walker.
"Good morning…" Walker said placing gentle kisses on her cheeks and finally
her lips.
"How are you feeling?" Alex asked remembering their conversation from the
night before. Never did she want Walker to doubt her love for him.
What she had said was truth, she loved him more than anything and would
never leave him.
"I'm fine, thank you." Walker responded continuing the rain of kisses over
her face. Alex loved having him this close, nothing inhibiting their time
together. She felt his hands move from the waist up where they rested
on her breasts. He began massaging them as he had her back the night
before and Alex began wondering if he had ignored her request. Yet
she didn’t want him to stop.
"Wa…Walker…" Alex once again regretted stopping him as much as she wanted
to make love to him she didn’t want to look back and remember Fredricks,
she wanted to only remember passion and love.
"I'm sorry, you just…well…" Alex smiled as his face went flush and she
knew what he wanted to say but couldn't. What Walker couldn’t say
with words he never left unsaid with actions, she always felt special in
his arms.
After breakfast Alex put together a small lunch and the two set out together.
Walking to the river they sat out on a small knoll over looking the water.
As the sun slowly climbed higher in the sky and the temperature rose they
enjoyed just being together. Sitting ever so quietly small wildlife passed
by them. Several birds filled the trees and Alex smiled as a deer
came out hesitantly and drank quickly. For Alex the only thing that
could make this better would be beautiful and fragrant flowers. But
it was late winter and not time yet.
"You know what I realized today? Walker asked as he laid on his stomach
looking deep into Alex's eyes.
"What's that?" Alex responded lying on her back and looking up at Walker.
"Well I already knew your eyes sparkled like the stars. But they
are also the most beautiful shade of blue. In fact they are the same color
as the sky."
"Oh Walker…why is it that you always get romantic when we're on the middle
of a mountain?"
"I don't know, maybe because you are the most enchanting woman I know,
or maybe out here I am completely at ease and able to express my true feelings
to the woman I love."
"You never cease to amaze me. For so long I didn't think you had
a romantic bone in your body." Alex said as she took his hands in hers.
"Alex, I've wanted to tell you these things for years. I'm not sure
why I never did, you deserved to hear them all the time. I've loved
you for so long and never knew how to tell you. Every time I tried
my tongue got twisted and the words never came out right. It finally
dawned on me when we were up on the mountain several years ago. There
you were helping me, after being up on the mountain for two days.
All I saw was how beautiful you were and knew I had to tell you.
It's still hard for me to say those things to you but…" Alex finally pulled
him to her and hushed him with a kiss. Never in her wildest dreams
did she think she would hear Walker talk like this. He was one of
the most amazing men she had ever known, never failing to surprise her.
"See if I had known that would be your response I would have been more
open." Walker said touching her cheek gently with his hand.
"Yeah right. Up until a couple of years ago you acted like a junior high
school boy, but well that made me want you all the more. Your innocent
looks, how you blushed when we stood too close."
"Alex, you drove me crazy…you still do." Alex giggled at his final statement,
she knew he spoke his true feelings and she was enjoying the flustered
look on his face. "What is so funny?"
"You," Walker
grabbed her sides and tickled her. He loved hearing her laugh and
after what had happened to her just a couple of days earlier it was wonderful
to hear her laughter again. He was amazed at how she appeared to have healed
so quickly. She hadn't discussed much with him and he knew she would,
he just had to stay by her side, which wouldn’t take much effort.
After lunch they decided to go sit closer to the water. It was just
so clear and the boulders provided a bridge to the other side. Water
lapped the shore ever so gently and Alex was grateful they were there while
the water level was low.
"Walker, let's walk across the river." Alex said standing and taking his
hand.
"Alex, that water is cold."
"I know, but the water's low we can use the rocks and walk across." He
watched as she started and knowing there would be no reasoning with her
he followed. Several times they almost fell in but eventually they
made it across and managed to stay dry.
"Okay Alex, now that we are here what are we going to do?" Walker asked
trying desperately to figure out what was so important on the other side.
"Nothing, I just thought it would be neat to come over here." She replied
starting to walk into the trees.
Before she knew it Walker swept her into his arms and spun her around.
Stopping he stood there for several seconds just smiling at her in his
arms. Alex noted the anguished look on his face and knew he was thinking
about the last time he had held her in his arms.
Taking her hand she cupped his face and kissed him gently and affectionately.
"I love you." She told him quietly. Walker set her on her feet and
just took her in his arms for a giant bear hug. She was the most
unique woman, always knew what he was thinking, knowing the right things
to say to him.
The afternoon was spent in the dark secluded forest. Because of the
dense trees the heat of the sun didn’t reach them which made it a bit cooler
than on the open field they had been before. But Alex didn't mind
it one bit, it was a perfect excuse to stick close to Walker. Together
they had explored a bit more finding nothing spectacular but a small bear
den, and neither felt up to sticking around for very long.
"Alex, we need to get back. The sun will be setting and the clouds
are rolling in. Looks like it might snow tonight."
Her face immediately drew bright at the thought of spending the next day
cuddled around the fire, snuggled in a blanket. "Okay." Taking his hand
they headed back to the river. Once there they started to cross.
About half way to the other side Alex's foot slid off the rock and she
fell headfirst into the water. Stopping Walker reached down and pulled
her back to dry ground. He knew the water was freezing and could
tell Alex's body was already numb from the cold temperature. Taking
off her now soaked jacket he replaced it with his and then slowly guided
her to safety.
The walk to the cabin was agonizing. She was so cold; her body was
shaking violently. Alex’s lips and fingernails were blue and her
movements were forced. By the time they reached the cabin the snow had
started to fall and Alex had nearly lost consciousness gathering her in
his arms Walker carried her the last few minutes. Taking her inside
he removed her wet clothes and covered her with blankets. The rushing
to the fireplace he started a nice fire. Once the fire was rolling
he went back to the couch and held her in his arms trying to will her to
wake up. Over the next several hours she would wake but instead of
pleasant thoughts her mind was back to her captivity and escape.
"I'm sorry I tried to get back to you…I did…" Walker held Alex tight as
she fought the nightmares. She was still shivering and for some reason
her body temperature refused to rise. He had moved her from the couch
to the floor directly in front of the fireplace. Holding her in his
arms he had hoped the fire and his body heat would warm her, but so far
it wasn't working.
For the past hour he had tried to get her body temperature to rise.
The only chance he had was the giant claw-foot bathtub but she needed to
wake up first. Fear had set in and once again Walker felt helpless.
He needed her, she understood him like no other. Even Ellen
didn't compare to Alex, she was the most wonderful thing that had happened
to him and he wanted nothing more that to save her from this.
Since he had gotten her to the cabin she had been screaming random thoughts
of leaving him. He knew she was having flashback nightmares to earlier
in the week. As he clutched her tightly on the floor he heard her
say some sort of goodbye to him…
"I'm sorry…Walker…I couldn’t go on…I tried…for you…tried to get away…but…I'm
not…not strong enough. I've always needed you…I loved knowing…you
were there for me…I love you…and sorry I won't ever be your wife.
Please forgive me…"
It had taken her awhile to get it all out but piece by piece Walker fit
together what had been going on in her head out in the forest. All
he could do was hold her closer. Her hand was in his and he would
occasionally kiss her forehead. They would get through this, Alex
would be his wife and they would grow old together. There was no
way Walker was going to lose someone he cherished again, not like this.
Ellen had been hard, the pain still lingered on, deep inside. But
losing Alex, just the thought brought tears to his eyes. Alex was
his everything, she was his life... she completed him. There had
been a time when he would do anything to solve a case, and there was still
times that he did what he wanted to. But somehow Alex had gotten
to him.
His mind went to a conversation they had had just a year or so earlier.
It had been late one night as they sat out on the porch looking at the
stars. He had been recovering from a knife wound and Alex had volunteered
to stay out at the ranch. That night he had noted how quiet she had
become. Usually she was talkative and he always loved their discussions.
Yet for some reason on that particular night she was quiet and it had bothered
him.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked taking her hand in his.
Alex had sat there a few minutes wondering if she should answer the question
truthful or not. "Do you know how close I came to losing you?" She finally
asked. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you."
He had sat there thinking on her response when he finally answered with
a question he knew she wanted to ask but would never dare to verbalize.
"Alex, do you want me to quit the Rangers?"
Alex was shocked at the question. She didn't know what to think…for
a long time she had wanted to ask him but she knew how much being a Ranger
meant to him and she didn’t want to jeopardize what they had. There
had been another before her that had asked him to do such a thing and he
had chosen the Rangers, Alex wasn't willing to give him up, even though
deep inside she secretly wished he would.
"Yes…no…" she finally stammered out. Stopping she composed herself
and then answered again. "Yes because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing
you. But Walker I could never ask you to do that. You will always
be a Texas Ranger and I don’t want to hurt what we have. I worry
but no Walker I don’t want you to quit."
"Alex…you know…if you asked…I would." Alex looked at him immediately and
was very shocked to see that he was being completely honest with her.
Tears welled in her eyes knowing he would give up that much just for her.
"Thank you…but you know I would never ask you to do that…as much as I would
love to. No Walker, I fell in love with you as a Texas Ranger, and
that's how it will stay. But you can do me one favor."
"What's that?"
"Be careful…" She said it short and sweet and for the most part he was
careful, well he attempted to be as careful as his job would allow.
Their relationship had changed at that moment. Alex knew that he
loved her more than anything else and Walker knew that Alex trusted his
judgement.
I wanna lay down each
evening
With you right here
by my side
I wanna get drunk on
your laughter
And wipe all the tears
when you cry
You can scare me with
your darkness
You can blind me with
your light
Throw your worries out
the window baby
On your wildest night
Suddenly he was pulled from his daydream as Alex looked up at him for the
first time in over an hour and a half. "Walker?" She asked hesitantly.
As she continued to lie in his arms he could feel her still shivering.
"Sh…it's all right. You are going to be just fine…I have you."
"Walker…I'm cold…"
"I know…I have an idea…" Picking her up he sat her down on the couch and
surrounded her with blankets. "I'll be right back…" Alex could only nod
her head she had no energy and wanted to just sleep.
Rushing to the bathroom he began to draw her a bath. He filled the
tub with warm water and then went out to get her. Picking her up
he carried her to the bathroom. "What are you doing?" He heard her raspy
voice asking as they entered the tiny room.
"I am going to put you in the water. Hopefully it will get you warm…"
Again the only response was a nod. Slowly he laid her in the water.
She was so weak and he took her hand and held it tight as she went in and
out of consciousness. Her body began to gain its color, her fingernails
began to turn pink again, and her shivering slowed at first and then stopped.
Alex could tell her body was warming and she wanted to wake up, but her
eyes were too heavy. She could feel Walker's gentle hand holding
her own. At times he would lean forward and delicately touch his
lips to her forehead. Sleep was needed, Walker was there and everything
was going to be fine.
A sigh escaped Walker's lips as he watched her warm in the tub. She
looked peaceful lying there and he was thankful nothing critical had happened.
Placing her in warm water was a risk he hadn't wanted to take but what
choice did he have? Her body was now warm and after a few minutes
he took her back in his arms and carried her to the bed. Placing
an extra blanket on her he watched as she slid deep into the warmth.
Several tiny flames flickered around the room as Alex slowly opened her
eyes. Except for a couple of candles glowing in the room darkness
had fallen upon them. Her body was warm and pulling back the blankets
she found Walker must have dressed her because she was now wearing her
nightgown. Her robe was lying on the chair next to the bed and standing
up she slit it on. Looking to the bed she was surprised that Walker
wasn’t lying with her so she headed to the living room to look for him.
The flickering fire that was still blazing in the fireplace was the only
light coming from the living room. As she took a couple steps forward
she saw him. His naked back was to her and his shadow bounced off
the walls. She stared at the rippling muscles that were before her
and marveled at the perfection of his body. She had seen him without
a shirt on before but for some reason this was different. The flames
seemed to outline his perfect body and watching him she knew he was in
a trance.
Not wanting to disturb him she turned for a second to look out the window.
The snow was really coming down. Huge flakes seemed to flutter in
the wind blowing around in circles until they could finally escape and
make their final journey to the ground. The drifts were huge and
Alex thought how wonderful it was that her fantasy was coming true…up in
a cabin with the man she loved and they were snowed in.
She heard Walker shifting and her attention was brought back. This
time she found him facing her. Both stayed fixed in their positions
for several seconds until Alex took a step forward. Moving slowly
she met him near the fire. As she reached out to him her arms wrapped
around his shoulders. Walker bent his head forward and placed his
forehead on her abdomen.
Ever so slowly Alex pulled him up so their eyes met and he brought his
hand so it cupped her face. She was so enchanting, he thought to
himself…a glorious vision…his beautiful angel.
"How are you feeling?" Walker finally spoke in a whisper barely audible.
"I'm fine…" Alex responded not taking her eyes from his.
"I was…I thought…"
She
hushed him and smiled her wonderful smile. "I'm fine…"
"Are you sure?" He asked as they continued to stand in each other's embrace.
Alex only nodded, her head was still a little heavy and she could use a
little more sleep, but she didn't want to waste another minute away from
Walker's powerful arms.
Letting Alex go for a second Walker grabbed the beautiful afghan that was
on the back of the couch. Taking her hand again he led her to the
fireplace. Together they sat on the floor staring into the flames.
Alex had taken her seat in front of him as his arms and legs encircled
her body. Walker had placed the blanket around his shoulders and
wrapped them both inside the warm fibers.
Alex had laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes in the security
she was feeling. Walker gently kissed her naked neck and she felt
his soft beard caressing her ivory skin. Nothing further was spoken
between them, as they stayed wrapped in each other's love. As Alex's
eyes grew heavier Walker moved so they were lying on the floor. The
blanket covered them as Walker held Alex close not wanting to let her go.
He too was happy about the snow falling outside. They would be forced
to spend the day inside but that wasn’t anything he was going to complain
about.
Walker was thankful he had taken the time to bring in the extra firewood
earlier. He knew by now it would have been covered by the snow.
There was enough for a couple of days so he allowed himself to fall asleep
as he held Alex like a China Doll.
Much later his eyes opened, at first he wasn't sure why. Looking
down he saw Alex hadn't moved and he closed his eyes but it was only a
second when he heard it again, it was a roar. The floor began shaking
and it was then Walker knew what was happening…somewhere higher in the
mountains snow had been worked loose and it was tumbling down toward the
cabin. The ground began trembling with greater force and Alex awoke with
a start. "Walker…what…?" It was at that moment the cabin shook with great
force and Walker feared the walls wouldn’t hold up, but thankfully, so
far, they did.
"Walker! OHMIGOD Walker what happened?" She stood up and met him at the
window. Looking out there was only snow, and Walker could tell Alex
was worried.
"Avalanche…" it was just one word and Alex wasn't sure how to react.
"You mean we're trapped?"
"Yeah…" She stayed in the same spot as she watched Walker move from window
to window trying to see if there was a chance of them getting out, but
nothing. "Well it doesn't look like it covered us completely…" He
said going to the fireplace.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because the smoke isn't backing up into the cabin…if the roof was covered
the smoke would be coming in here."
"Okay so no electricity and no way to get out of here." Alex chuckled at
the thought, her fantasy was coming true but at a really bad time.
She was feeling trapped and would try to calm herself down.
Going to the couch she joined Walker as she shook her head in frustration.
If they had planned this to happen nothing would have gone right, and now
here she was "trapped" in a cabin with her favorite Ranger and yet she
wasn't sure if she could take being kept in the tight surroundings.
"What are you shaking your head at?" Walker asked again wrapping his arms
around her.
"Just that my fantasy came true…"
"Oh…? What was your fantasy?"
"That I would get stuck in a cabin, on the top of a mountain with the man
I love."
"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but I don't think he's going to make
it…there is no way he could get through this…" Alex playfully hit his arm
as she snuggled closer into the crook of his arm. She would try to
sleep, maybe that would take away the closed in feeling she was having.
Not wanting to tell Walker she decided to just let things go, they would
be rescued eventually and she could handle this. Fredricks wasn't
around, it was Walker that held her tight in her arms.
About an hour later the two headed to the bedroom. Walker figured
they had been lucky, the snow had been slowed by the trees which had sat
behind them. From his best judgement the cabin was only ¾
covered. But there wasn’t anything they could do, so they might as
well get some sleep and see what the next day brought.
Lying in bed Walker had his arm wrapped securely around Alex’s waist.
She tried to sleep but something kept bringing her out of the slumber.
The snow was settling on the cabin causing the boards to squeak under the
pressure. As her eyes closed in fatigue she would wake with a start.
Finally after trying several times to get some sleep she got up and went
to the living room. She couldn’t get that sound out of her head,
every where she went it was there. Walking into the room she thought
the creaking would go away…instead it got worse. Putting her hands to her
ears Alex tried to block it out. Nothing was working and she had
to get out…had to get away from the noise.
Sitting on the floor she crawled into the far corner and sobbed.
The tears were falling from her eyes in sheets and she couldn’t stop them
any more than she the noise in her head. Her body was shivering and fear
had encompassed her once again. Suddenly someone was grabbing her
arms. Looking up she saw Fredricks and she started fighting.
There was no way he was going to hurt her again. He had done it before
and he would do it again. She was kicking and hitting him with everything
in her. His hands were grabbing her harder until she couldn’t move her
arms any more.
“Alex, “ the trance was broken and she was back in the cabin. Looking
forward she realized Walker had been the one holding her. Pushing
him away Alex jumped up and walked to the couch. Walker had seen
the fear that was in her eyes when she had fought him and then pushed him
away. Throughout the past two days Alex had helped him over come
his fear of not being there, now it was his turn to help her get past this.
Going to the couch he sat down next to her and she moved as far as she
could away from him. “Alex, do you want to talk about this?” Looking
at her she had now curled herself into a ball in the corner of the couch.
Watching her she looked like as if she wanted to burrow a hole through
the couch, he hated seeing her frightened, especially of him.
Then she spoke. “There was this door…not to the room, it was to the outside…and
it squeaked. When I heard it I knew he was coming back.
Then he would enter the room…he would sit on the side of the bed…right
next to me. His breath…it reeked of alcohol…and his hands…they…they…touched
me…all over. I couldn’t stop him…my hands and legs were tied …I wanted
to fight…I tried to fight…but couldn’t make him stop. It wasn’t long
and he was on top of me…I heard him unzipping his jeans…and he was kissing
me…and then I stopped thinking…I knew what was going to happen…and there
was nothing I could do. My only thoughts were of you…and how you
would come and save me…any minute you would come rushing through the door.
When you didn’t I thought to myself of all the times we spent together…all
the times you held me…feeling your arms holding me…I don’t know how long…time
stopped…I was his toy and he…the bed creaked…and all I wanted was for it
to stop. “ Walker could only sit there as she disclosed the horrid events
that had taken place not a week earlier. He wanted to take her in
his arms, to hold her like she had just said…but when he brought his hand
close to her she shied away.
“I cried myself to sleep…and awoke later. The room was dark and I
wasn’t sure if he was there, but I had a chance to escape. I knew
he would kill me either way…and I was going to get out…so I escaped, only
to find myself lost in the forest. My mind was racing at how
proud you would be if I was able to get away on my own…to prove to you
that I was strong enough, that you didn’t have to protect me. But
my clothes had been ripped…and the air was so cold. I tried to call
out to you…wanted to make sure you knew I tried to get away…hoped you would
be able to forgive me…prayed you would be able to move on with your life.
Then darkness…until I woke up with you holding my hand…you were looking
at me with those wonderful eyes…but all I kept wondering was why you were
touching me…I was dirty… I saw the hurt in your eyes…and knew that you
blamed yourself. So…I pushed it aside…wanted to be there for you…instead
of the other way around…” She was crying again and turning to Walker, for
the first time since she had began to tell the story, he held out his arms.
At first hesitation was on her face, but knowing that Walker still loved
her regardless what had happened…she allowed him to take her into
his strong arms. Burying her head in his shoulder she wept, allowing
some of the pain and suffering to escape from her. Ever so
delicately Walker picked her up and sat her on his lap so he could hold
her. He knew she had been hiding something from him…that she had
put up a facade just for him.
Hold on to me when your
world’s turnin’ cold
When it feels like your
life’s spinnin’ out of control
You’re hoping prayin’,
tryin’ so hard to believe
Hold on to me when there’s
no middle ground
And every emotion is
coming unwound
And you don’t know if
you can hold on
To your Dreams
Baby you can hold on
to me
“Alex…honey…”Walker started some time later after the tears had stopped
falling. She was still in his lap clinging to him…not wanting to
let him go. “Alex…none of this was your fault…you know that. But
what I really want to tell you is that there is no way in the world I would
ever not want you. You don’t have to prove anything to me.
Alex…you are the most wonderful woman in the world… you are very strong,
you were strong enough to get away and I know you are strong enough to
get through this. You mean everything to me and I would do anything for
you and right now I am going to make sure we get through this.” Looking
down into her eyes he caught a glimmer and a ray of hope shining right
a long. With a nod of her head she closed her eyes and was finally
asleep.
They laid together on the couch Walker holding her and she snuggled closer
to him as the night wore on. Walker dozed on and off throughout the
night. When he awoke the fire had died and the cabin was freezing.
Sliding out from under Alex Walker worked a bit to get the fire going again
and hoped they would be dug out soon. The added snow was making it
harder to keep the cabin warm.
“No!!” Walker was startled out of his slumber as Alex began screaming.
He had left her lying on the couch and had lain on the floor. Reaching
up he took her hands in his and tried to wake her up.
“Alex…” Looking into her eyes he knew she wasn’t completely awake yet and
he didn’t want to hurt her.
“Oh Walker…” She fell into his chest crying as soon as she awoke from the
nightmare. Walker held her tight and rubbed her back easing the tension
that had once again returned.
“Are you all right?” He asked joining her on the couch and pulling her
to him.
“I don’t know. I dreamt about the room again…I was so scared…I was
trying to fight him…but couldn’t…I was trapped.”
“Alex…you are safe now…nothing is going to happen.”
“Get me out of here…I need to get out.” Alex demanded, trying to get up
as Walker held her tight.
“Alex…Alex look at me!” Finally she looked at him and he could see the
fear in her eyes as he tried to calm her down. “Take a deep breath…come
on…focus on me…now take a deep breath…there you go.” It took a few minutes
but finally her breathing was returning to normal.
Staring into his blue eyes Alex was able to finally relax. Her fingers
were digging deep into Walkers’ forearms and yet he didn’t flinch…she needed
something to grasp onto and if it was his flesh well he would endure it
for her. He could feel her releasing the tension that had been bottled
up inside of her for days. Finally he pulled her close, holding her
tight against his masculine chest. Her body was warm and alluring
and Walker continued to hold her, rocking her back and forth…soothing her
fears, calming the tears.
“Oh Walker…am I ever going to get over this?” Alex finally asked later
that evening as they sat wrapped in the blanket cozied up the last of the
flickering fire. All of the firewood was gone and Walker was worried
about making sure she was staying warm.
“Yes Alex you will get over this…and I will be by your side the entire
time. But you can’t keep this bottled up inside anymore…talk to me
when you are hurting…”
Alex looked at
him with questioning eyes and tilting her head she sighed heavily before
she began. “You are the last person to be giving that sort of advice…”
“What is that supposed to mean?” He asked looking down at her.
“Walker…you are not the best at telling people when you are hurting…I know
that, CD knows it, even Jimmy knows…”
“We aren’t talking about me…we are talking about you…”
“Oh so I’m the only one that is supposed to tell my feelings…you can just
go off and…” Suddenly her lips were claimed by his and closing her eyes
she allowed him to break off her sentence. Finally he released the
kiss and tilting his head forward their foreheads met in a silent expression
of love. Knowing the fire was dwindling Walker went into the bedroom
and pulled the mattress to the living room. They laid in each other’s
arms that night and as the fire died out completely he pulled her closer
using his body heat to keep her warm.
That was how Trivette and CD found them early the next morning, wrapped
around each other, conserving heat. Walker woke with a start as the
door was opened and a blast of Arctic air followed behind. Glancing
down he noted Alex hadn’t stirred and for that he was happy, she had finally
gotten a good nights rest. The first since Fredricks. But as
he started to get up Alex awoke and smiled at him, not yet seeing Trivette
and CD.
Brining her hand
up she gently touched his face…” Thank you for keeping me warm last night
Cowboy…” Walker felt his face blush and it was only then that Trivette
made their presence known. Alex could only laugh as she watched Walker
looked into her eyes. Suddenly he pulled her closer and kissed her
passionately without caring that they had an audience.
“Okay you two that is enough…”CD said walking in the door. But they
were completely lost in one another.
“See Big Dog, they were all right…” Trivette said smiling at his partner
and best friend.
“You know Walker I could have stayed at my apartment…” Alex said walking
into the living room at the ranch a day later. After they had been
dug out Walker and Alex figured they would just head on back…they wanted
to get home and relax from their vacation. So they had gathered up
their things and ridden back down the mountain. Once back to Dallas
Walker had driven straight out the ranch without hesitation, without asking
Alex.
“I know, but I figured we are still on vacation and well…” she chuckled
at the devilish look in his eyes.
Walking up to him she looped her arms around his neck and stared into his
eyes. "Walker, thank you…without
you I would be out there fighting my way back.”
“Anything for my Angel, I love you. We helped each other, and now
we can start to get on with our lives.”