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| Jan 8 2002 2:20 p.m. Since this is an introduction to my psyche, I decided that perhaps I should begin spending less time on current events and more on what is more or less constant about me. For the one, inconstancy is a constant trait of mine.. hehe.. as oxymoronic as it sounds... oh, well you know.. anyway.. So, constancy has always been something I've aspired to. Or, rather, consistency. I seek a middle balanced ground in my life in my thoughts, emotions, actions, etc... of course the radical ends are for visits, but not to dwell in. Another thing few really know about me is about my spirituality. I have never been one to attend church, yet I believe in God and believe there is some validity in the bible. However, the popular ways of understanding this are not for me. I believe in evolution, bedcause it makes sense. Yet, evolution without a binding force behind it is improbable to me. I believe the big bang occured, unlike some christians. Yet I find it unreasonable to believe that for one, nothing existed before it, although that which was before it is more or less inconcievable to us. One thing science cannot explain is why it all began. So there is where I find my faith in God.. not from tradition, or because my parents told me to.. or because some man screamed it at me enough times to make me believe... it lies in t he simple fact that I exist. I am fond of the concise, so over much soul searching I whittled down the reasons to one made of iron.. My existence is all I am sure of. Science does not offer an explanation as to why the universe has a progressive force... and why creatures came into being. The seven days mentioned in Genesis surely could not have been the days we think of now, as for the first few, there wasn't an earth's orbit to measure them. The order of events makes sense.. the drifting of hydrogen before the big band, then thier explosion, creating energy, light.. and an earth, which acquired water through various means such as comets, and life which begins in the seas, vegetation, then animals... and after a period of wait, of rest, then man.. surely this didn't happen in a moment's notice... or rather a day before there were days. I keep an Einstein bookmark in my bible. It's not an act of malice, but a symbol to both sides of the equation.. science does not "kill God," as Nietsche might say.. and God's existence does little to discount science if viewed a certain way. So, here am I, abhorred by most of both groups of people.. avid athiests and those religious.. myh personality has a tendency to straddle fences on matters. Really, there is little that I wil prescribe to. I do not believe in giving all of oneself to an idea or a group of people. That is why I do not call myself a republican nor a democrat.. I am a third-party-voter in most cases, unless if the election is to be close, then I will most likely vote republican. I am fond of conservatism, small government.. laissez faire economy... blah blah blah.. So do not pin a badge on me. I am not a typical christian, nor an athiest... all that I believe in, I have taken to an anvil and went mad at it with a hammer. Few things stood the test, but I can stand stolidly on them. Socrates was a genius. Everyone needs a gadfly in their life. I was my own, mor or less. Sometimes my parents helped. My Dad taught me to argue. He'd bother me so! Just to irk me, he would make a statement that he knew was something I was vehehemently against.. such as weakness and uselessness of women. I had to defend so much growing up. Yet sometimes in my act of defending I found myself to be unreasonable.. so I have changed. I am grateful to my parents for upsetting me so. Not only has it made me stronger, it has hieghtened my senses and my ability to make a valid statement. I have learned also, that some people are impossible to argue with.. they are like the senate which condemned Socrates.. when approached by a gadfly, they swatted it and ignored it's passing. Some will stand on beliefs even when proven wrong. Though it is sometimes difficult to turn from something you have coddled in your heart and mind, it can make you a better person. Oh, and as for not going to church.. I believe in discussing religion in groupos.. and studying the ancient languages, perhaps, so original texts and not translations can be referred to.. However, often a church setting facilitates only for the imposition of one persons's intrepretation onto a group of people. If one doesn't reach things on their own.. challenging assumptions, the belief is weak... if not even unreasonable. I read the bible on occasion (my favorite book is Ecclesiastes for it's existentialism.. hehe) and ponder what it says, taking into account who wrote it. (religious men, living way way long ago) and take what I can from it... without adding assumptions or taking a story about a lady carrying water and saying it means I can't drink wine and smoke ciggarettes. Some things are translatable in such ways, but I believe to never stretch it. Well I'm writing this in my room.. I hope I can get the network up on this dark computer so I can get this on this site... I have class in a few.. until next time.. adieu! (btw, if anyone who reads this has any thoughts, flames, etc, contact me and tell me!) [email protected] aim: claraRoseliz back to introduction to my psyche |
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