Jan 24 2002 6:19 pm

Oh what a dreary dreary day.  The sun never came out.. and it has been cold and raining.  I was inspired to write some, but that good feeling was short lived.  I put up one, and I have one other poem I wrote today that I intend to put up but I haven't got access to it right now to put it here.  I hate when it's so dark.. and cold.  It puts me in a continual dismal mood interrupted only by short breaks.  What is with negativity, though?  It's like all positivity is being pulled from me by a huge magnet.  I need something to focus on to distract me from all of this.  I can't even take notes in class.. my mind wanders and it pains me to move a pencil.  On my way to the library, I pass by a security guard, old, with a voice of brimstone and yellow eyes.  I dislike this man more than any other I believe.  He is the most condescending (and unrightfully so) creature that I believe I have known.  He is cruel and arrogant, and unjust.  I cannot decide if it is more defiant to look him in the eye or not to.  As I pass him I concentrate on the ground and act as if he has no presence.  He turns his head towards me, like a voodoo priest with froglike eyes, protruding like yellow gelatin with drops of tar in them. His head cocks like a pistol, threatening me.. but I walk by as if nothing happened.  Then I face the anguished debate of whether I should have looked at him or not.  Which is a greater act of defiance?  It's so cold.. bah... I must get over this state.  I can't listen to Andrea Bocelli in the library though..  I just want to stop everything for just a bit... make everything seem less foreboding.  Until next time, adieu.
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