Jan 21, 2001 11:40 p.m.
Action versus Inaction. To be or not to be and all that jazz. Man, Hamlet had a real place in the world. Or, rather, his lack of a place gave him real reason for being, to show us mortal souls that we're not so alone... and that our qualms about carpe-ing the diem.. err or something like that... aren't so unordinary. I too have qualms about acting, but also about losing the moment in which we live. I stand at the junction just before the crossroads in my life. At least that's the way I see it. The faces and experiences surrounding me are transitory. I'd like to think not.. and that we all really will keep in touch.. but being realistic, as much as I love those who are around me, many will be more or less gone soon. Thank you James for talking with me today. I feel unresolved as of yet, but I'm feeling a refreshing clarity of mind. I suppose, at least. I feel.. apprehensive still.. between my physics I'm taking a brief respite from and the piano test looming over my head, invisible but present as a banshee. One can surely tell I'm in an odd state from my writing style.. or maybe my style is more or less the same, it's just that my convex perceptions at the moment are misintrepreting the world around me. Oh whatever... Shakespeare was talented but not necessarily smart. This is no time for a book report, however. I truly love the works of Shakespeare. Well, except perhaps a few of his sonnets. I never fell much for the sonnet form, though I've heard it used quite eloquently in the past. I hate a fickle heart, truly I do, especially, when it belongs to my own body. It makes life more difficult... Clothes last less long, as do scribblings on notebook covers. Money goes to things transitory, such as Hanson cds and N'Sync dolls (no, I don't own a thing with N'sync on it.. this is just an example.) Men criticize women for thier fickle nature. I criticize myself for it as well... though I belive to an extent popular culture suffers from this detestable trait as well. It's good for an economy at least. But what good is an economy to a nation of heartbroken Echoes... it turns us to a colony of those only possessing happiness as the narcissians. My mind is a mess tonight and my emotinos are a jumble. I can't make up my mind, as those who know what I'm talking about know. Well, of course they know if they know, at least I hope they do. oh bah... I feel like a deflated balloon. I'm cold and pissy as hell. Revenge isn't as sweet at it might seem. I wish I were a more ruthless soul. God forgive my intolerance of stupid asshole airheads. I am not who I wish to be... nor with those who I wish to be with. But to wish truly, I must wish the same, which is next to impossible, or so it seems. I must do my physics.. and shake in cold and fear of the foreboding piano class and horn lessons I have tomorrow. Time passes too quickly, my dear.. moments grow shorter and shorter with each passing. Adieu unti we pass again.
~ClaraRoseliz |
