Nakkou: Originally I had no author for this piece, but while searching for more funnies for you I ran across one that had the talented PC who penned it. Now the version I had Included the first part titled Veeshans Peak while the new one I found only contained fron Return to Veeshans Peak on. So basically I am assuming the whole thing was by the same person. It does seem to be in the same writing style. Whoever it is by it is funny. Heeheee.
Its been a while since I last wrote, Abashi was runnin the show as a matter of fact. Now we got a new guy in and Scars coming out soon, I thought I'd do a little humorous writing, this one is an old tale about 14 players who head to the most dangerous place on Norrath:
Veeshan's Peak
Druid: /shout WOOT!! YOU HAVE ENTERED VEESHAN'S PEAK!!!
Rogue: Hey, we didn't die zoning in, it already beats the crap out of
those Howling Stones...
Magician begins to cast a spell
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Wizard: /shout Level 57 wizzie lookin for a group
Jenkins says "Guarding you master"
Jeeves says "Guarding with my life, oh great one"
Monk: /auction Selling Tailor made items at reasonable prices
Warrior: /auction Same here
Paladin: /auction Same
Enchanter: /auction Selling Platinum Ruby Veil for 9.5k
Druid: That's insane
Enchanter looks around for some competition, and shrugs
Cleric: So who wants to group with me?
Magician: Me
Necromancer: Me
Rogue: Me
Warrior: Me
Paladin: Me
Shadow Knight: Me
Wizard: Me
Monk: Me
Bard: Me
Druid: Me
Enchanter: Me
Ranger: Me
Shaman: Me
Cleric: Okay, Warrior, Necromancer, Bard, Enchanter, Shaman, you're with me
All others:
Wizard: So who wants to group with me?
Rogue: Yeah, and I'm starting a group, who wants to group with me?
Paladin: So maybe we should do some scouting...
Druid begins to cast a spell
Wizard begins to cast an UselessUpgradedSpell spell
Rogue disappears
Druid dons a mask of the hunter
Wizard creates an "Invisible to Mobs under 35 when it's a level 55 spell" eye
Druid, Wizard, and Rogue: I'll scout
Wizard: /shout Level 57 wizzie looking for a group
Enchanter begins to cast a spell
Necromancer: Hey buddy can I get some Swords of Runes?
Magician feels his summons are useful for a change
Magician: Sure
Magician begins to cast a spell
Magician begins to cast a spell
A cool breeze slips thru Enchanter's party
Jeeves says "Thank you master"
Jeeves says "Thank you master"
v
Necromancer disbands
Necromancer: Well I don't need you guys anymore
Necromancer chuckles
v
Wizard: /shout %&^(( They saw my invisible eye, we got two dragons inc
Druid: /ooc
Rogue: /ooc
A Sky Blue Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Sky Blue Dragon begins to cast a spell
v
Monk: GETEM!
Ranger, Monk, Warrior, Rogue, Paladin, and Shadow Knight attack A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer, Magician, Enchanter, Druid, Wizard begins to cast a spell
Necromancer has feared A Sky Blue Dragon
Jeeves says "Attacking master"
Necromancer: I got this one
Jenkins says "Attacking master"
Ranger slashes A Sky Blue Dragon for 49 damage
Monk kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 200 damage
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
Rogue backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 400 damage
Shadow Knight Harmtouches A Sky Blue Dragon for 800 damage
Magician hits A Sky Blue Dragon for non-melee for 850 damage
Druid hits A Sky Blue Dragon for non-melee for 1020 damage
Bard twists mana and hp recovery songs
Wizard's spell has been resisted
Wizard: %*&^
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
Ranger yells for help behind you and to the left
Cleric begins to frantically cast a spell
Necromancer reclines and yawns
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 50 damage
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 126 damage
Warrior: Oh come on
Cleric has cast a spell
Ranger has regained 900 hp
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Warrior taunts A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 300 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 193 damage
Ranger yells for help behind you and to the left
Cleric: Quick casting my $*%
Wizard begins to cast a spell
Wizard's spell has been resisted
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Wizard for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Wizard for 800 damage
Wizard has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer puts on sunglasses
Warrior: Well there's a taunt at least
Bard summons water from his boots
Cleric has cast a spell
Ranger has regained 900 hp
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
Ranger: WTF? I stopped attacking 20 secs ago
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Ranger is completely healed
Cleric: There we go
Magician begins to cast a spell
Ranger is enveloped in fire
Shaman: Well at least he's useful now
Necromancer strikes up a conversation with Jimi Hendrix
Necromancer lights a cigar
Monk kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 450 damage
Warrior kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 3 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon is stunned
Warrior: Woo hoo
Druid begins to cast a spell
Monk uber-punches A Sky Blue Dragon for 800 damage
Warrior kicks A Sky Blue Dragon for 10 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon is stunned
Warrior: Twice in a row!
Warrior sticks his tongue out at Monk
Druid hits A Sky Blue Dragon for non-melee for 1020 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
Necromancer begins to debate the philosophy of "The Matrix"
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Druid for 500 damage
Cleric begins to cast a spell
Paladin begins to cast a spell
Druid feels a healing touch
Cleric: %*^
Paladin: Sorry
Cleric's casting has been interrupted
You must be standing to cast a spell
Bard summons water from his boots
Druid: You mind?
Bard summons food from his pants
Bard: What? Can't you see I'm using my armor's special abilities
Rogue backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 400 damage
Jenkins backstabs A Sky Blue Dragon for 500 damage
Jenkins laughs an elemental laugh at Rogue
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Jenkins for 800 damage
Jenkins has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
v
Rogue laughs heartily at Jenkins
Magician begins to cast a spell
Enchanter wanders blindly, waiting for a crowd to control
Magician: I'll try an air this time
v
Butler says "Attacking master"
Necromancer chuckles
Magician: What?
Necromancer points at Jeeves
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but is parried
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but Jeeves dodges
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but Jeeves ripostes
Jeeves hits A Sky Blue Dragon for 60 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon tries to hit Jeeves, but is parried
Magician: So?
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Butler for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Butler for 600 damage
Butler has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer laughs
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Magician begins to cast a spell
Necromancer lifetaps A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer experiences a 2000 point swing in life totals
Magician sighs, wanting to be second best at direct damage
Druid sighs, wanting to be second best at direct damage
Revived Wizard sighs, wanting to be best at direct damage
Magician: Okay, this one is fire
Shaman: Just do earth, everyone knows the others suck anyway
v
Lil'Flamey says "Attacking master"
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Revived Wizard feels some sympathy
Bard yawns, still twisting his mana/hp regen songs
Necromancer yawns, still sitting on his can
Shaman: Okay let's end this
Shaman begins to cast a spell
Warrior feels like an avatar
Warrior: Woohoo, you're the best!
Cleric: Oh come on
Cleric tries to strike A Sky Blue Dragon, but misses
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Cleric for disproportionately high damage
Cleric sighs about her armor
Cleric has been slain by A Sky Blue Dragon
Necromancer takes pity on Cleric
Druid begins to cast a spell
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Paladin tries to cast a spell, but quest hasn't been implemented yet
Necromancer casts a spell
Cleric is revived with 93% exp regain
Necromancer: A newbie gave his life for that
Revived Cleric sighs
Buffed Warrior hits A Sky Blue Dragon for tons of damage
Ranger blows wind at A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Ranger for 600 damage
Ranger sighs
Shaman looks around mildly, waiting to buff someone
Druid: Any ideas?
Shadow Knight tries to make a point, but there aren't enough of him to be
listened to
Lightbulb appears over Enchanter's head
Enchanter begins to cast a spell
A Sky Blue Dragon is showered with gold
Monk: What'd you do?
Enchanter: Gave him some pocket change
A Sky Blue Dragon is heavily encumbered
Paladin slashes A Sky Blue Dragon with FIERY AVENGER for massive damage
Warrior slashes A Sky Blue Dragon with RANDOM WEAPON FROM KARNOR'S for
massive damage + 1
Paladin sighs
Jeeves says "Guarding you master"
Necromancer: You should see the loot on my dragon...
All others: SHUT UP!!
Monk B!tCh-Sl@Ps A Sky Blue Dragon for massive damage
Magician, Druid, Enchanter, Wizard, and Shaman begin to cast spells
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit for miniscule fraction of total life in non-melee
damage
Casters sigh
Magician smiles
Magician: I still have my pet
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey's spell has been resisted
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit by non-melee for 178 damage
Shaman: You know your Earth quad hits for....
Magician: Shut up!
Necromancer: ...less than mine does
Magician sighs at Lil'Flamey
A Sky Blue Dragon hits Lil'Flamey for 600 damage
Necromancer begins to cast a spell
Wizard begins to cast a spell
Necromancer DOTs A Sky Blue Dragon for Trakanon-like damage
Wizard casts CrappyRainSpell
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit by non-melee for 600 damage
A Sky Blue Dragon resisted CrappyRainSpell
Jeeves is unaffected by CrappyRainSpell
Lil'Flamey is unaffected by CrappyRainSpell
Wizard: Woo hoo, and that only cost 400 mana
A Sky Blue Dragon staggers, looking for somewhere to die
Druid, Ranger, Magician, Wizard, Cleric, Shaman, Enchanter, Necromancer,
Shadowknight, and Bard begin to cast spells
Warrior beats on A Sky Blue Dragon
Paladin whallops on A Sky Blue Dragon
Monk decimates A Sky Blue Dragon
Rogue kinda wounds A Sky Blue Dragon
A Sky Blue Dragon is hit by a ton of non-melee
A Sky Blue Dragon says "From Hell's heart I stab at thee!"
A Sky Blue Dragon swipes Lil'Flamey for massive damage
A Sky Blue Dragon has been slain by Necromancer's DOT
v
A Sky Blue Dragon has left no corpse
GroupOf13 look at Necromancer
Necromancer lowers head, then wanders off to solo dragons
Lil'Flamey begins to cast a spell
Lil'Flamey casts ReallyStupidYonderSpell
Lil'Flamey disappears
A Sky Blue Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Really Huge Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Red As Blood Dragon begins to cast a spell
A Makes Veeshan Look Like A Worm Dragon begins to cast a spell
SadMage sighs, knowing what's coming
SadMage is burned with the fires of Hades
SadMage has been slain like you wouldn't believe
PanickedWarrior: Here they come
Necromancer feigns death
Shadowknight feigns death
Monk feigns death
Druid gates away
Ranger sits down and waits to die
Wizard evacs
Cleric wishes she had picked wizard for her group
Bard has been slain before he knew what hit him
Enchanter begins to cast a spell
Warrior has been slain like paper before the Whitewater investigation
Enchanter has cast a spell
CrowdODragons has been mezzed
Enchanter gates away
Casters gate away
PeopleWithoutGate sigh
PeopleWithoutGate are slain, roasted, and served with a white wine
CrowdODragons disperses
Necromancer stands and gates
Shadowknight can no longer play dead
Shadowknight is roasted by dragonfire
Shadowknight has been slain
Monk sighs
RETURN TO VEESHAN'S PEAK
Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered the Dreadlands.
Warrior says "...'and that would be like taking your entire head, with cheese hat still on mind you, and putting it DIRECTLY under the nose of the giant rat...' I love it."
GroupOPlayers chuckle.
Magician says "Hey guys what's up?"
Enchanter says "Just reading some of Verant's analogies, they're excellent."
Cleric giggles at Rogue.
Cleric says "Oh sweetie thank you so much for the BP."
Rogue smiles.
Rogue says "Anything for you darling."
Warrior says "Now the next analogy involves the ocean, Richard Nixon, and three pigs..."
Druid says "We've been waiting for you two."
GnomeNecro says "Sorry, short legs."
Magician says "Okay, let's get going to Da Peak!"
BunchaPlayers raise their Ogre Swill.
BunchaPlayers say "Da Peak!"
Warrior says "Hold on, you're not coming."
Magician says "What do you mean?"
Warrior says "Only people with their epic weapon can come."
Magician says "Oh come on!"
Cleric says "Sorry, if you won't put in the time for your epic..."
Cleric and Rogue hug.
Magician says "That's not fair, mine hasn't even been finished yet."
Rogue says "Bah, I'd have two if they weren't lore."
Magician says "Yeah but the cloak...and the staff I mean there's only like 10 earth staffs on the server and there's no chance of me..."
Ranger laughs.
Ranger says "Summon someone who gives a d-"
Wizard interrupts "Tell you what, Mages can cast imbue fire opal, how about you imbue this for me and we'll go."
Magician says "That's not fair, you know we can't worship Solusek Ro."
Wizard laughs.
/petition The guys are pickin on me.
AFK response from GM-Guy: I'm sorry, it's working as intended.
Warrior shoves Magician backwards, who falls into a puddle of mud.
Warrior says "Hey guys, how's THAT for an analogy?"
GroupOPlayers chuckle and walk away.
Magician bawls.
Shadowknight says "Wow we took care of that class pretty fast."
Bard smiles and nods.
Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered Veeshan's Peak.
Druid shouts "WOOT!!!"
Cleric says "Okay, who wants to group with me?"
Enchanter pauses a second.
Enchanter says "You can CH right?"
Cleric says "Of course."
Enchanter says "And Res?"
Cleric says "Easily."
Enchanter says "And you buff?"
Cleric says "Constantly."
Cleric stands proud.
Enchanter says "And you have your epic right?"
Cleric taps her Water Sprinkler.
Cleric says "Do I look like a mage?"
Enchanter says "So you can res the whole raid in like...a minute."
Cleric says "I hope I don't have to but sure."
Enchanter says "And MoK got nerfed right?"
Cleric sighs.
Cleric says "Yeah."
Enchanter says "I see..."
Wizard says "Unresistable dds!, Lots of exp, Cleric will res ya, who wants to group with me?"
Rogue says "I do."
Monk says "Me."
Shaman says "Right here."
Bard says "Mana battery mana battery."
Shadow Knight says "Pick me."
Necromancer says "Me me!"
Paladin says "Take me."
Enchanter says "No me, Me!"
Ranger says "I do lots of damage comon!"
Druid says "No me!"
Warrior stands for a second, and takes a long hard look at cleric...
Warrior says "I can pull Wiz."
Cleric stands awestruck for a second.
Cleric's eyes well up, and she bursts into tears.
Cleric throw her water sprinkler on the ground and sits to cry on a rock.
Cleric sobs "And you were the first one Rogue!"
Cleric sobs.
Druid nudges Rogue.
Druids says "Dude your girl looks sad."
Rogue pauses for a second then nods.
Rogue says "I'll take care of this."
Rogue walks and stands over the water Sprinkler.
Rogue bends and picks it up.
Rogue says "Oh baby I'm so sorry, did she drop you?"
Rogue hugs the Water Sprinkler.
Cleric stares at Rogue thru teary eyes.
Rogue says "I'm sorry, I won't ever let her hurt you again. Cause you're my little resser, yes you are, yes you are..."
Rogue hugs the Water Sprinkler.
Cleric bawls.
Rogue returns to the group, kissing the Water Sprinkler.
VerantEmployee appears.
VerantEmployee uber-kicks Cleric for 35 damage.
You have been gravity-fluxed.
Cleric lands on the curb for 10 points of damage.
VerantEmployee points at Cleric, yeah you.
VerantEmployee says "How's THAT for an analogy!"
VerantEmployee disappears.
GroupOPlayers shrug and walk on.
Cleric cries alone.
YardTrash walks by.
Cleric has been slain by YardTrash.
------Later-------
Warrior slashes Silverwing for 110 damage.
Warrior slashes Silverwing for 110 damage.
WarriorEpic procs for 150 damage and splits.
Ranger slashes Silverwing for 100 damage.
Ranger slashes Silverwing for 100 damage.
Ranger slashes Silverwing for 100 damage.
Ranger slashes Silverwing for 100 damage.
RangeEpic procs, and both slows Silverwing's attack and Haste's Rangers.
Warrior says "Hey! How come your epic is so much better than mine?"
Ranger slaps Warrior for 1 point of damage.
Ranger says "Shhh! Nobody seems to have noticed yet."
Necromancer begins to cast a spell.
Silverwing has been dotted.
Necromancer says "I dominate."
Rogue uses his discipline.
Rogue backstabs Silverwing for 950 damage.
Rogue backstabs Silverwing for 460 damage.
Rogue chuckles, knowing he's the best class in the game.
Necromancer sighs, taking the bad PR.
Shaman tries to make a contribution, but there is nobody left to buff.
Bard says "Hey I got an idea-"
Wizard smacks Bard and says "Quiet battery."
Bard sighs.
Druid begins to cast a spell.
Five seconds pass.
Wizard begins to cast a spell.
Silverwing has been slain by RandomWizzieSpell.
Druid sighs.
Wizard says "My spells suck, I am soooo not the master of magical damage."
Druid and Necromancer shoot looks at Wizard.
Warrior says "Okay, time out here."
Warrior pulls out a book entitled "Risk vs. Reward"
Warrior pages thru it "Okay, Epic weapons are just supposed to be ones that you would use in any...any sit--any..."
Enchanter glances over "Situation."
Warrior says "Shut up, I knew that."
Enchanter chuckles.
Warrior says "But mine is only a little better and a ranger's is..."
Shadowknight says "Hey mine ain't too great and look at how hard it-"
VerantEmployee appears.
VerantEmployee summons a mystical window.
VerantEmployee grabs "Risk vs. Reward," points at the epic weapons, and tosses Risk vs. Reward out the mystical window.
VerantEmployee says "How's THAT for an analogy!"
VerantEmployee poofs.
Warrior shoves Ranger.
Warrior says "First you cry about your defense caps and now this!"
Ranger shoves back.
Ranger says "I'm gonna show you the analogy of me breaking my foot off in your-"
Wizard interrupts "LOOK OUT!!!"
Phara Dar strikes Ranger for more hp than a player will ever have.
Ranger has been slain by Phara Dar.
Magician timely appears out of nowhere.
Magician shouts "Hang on guys I'm comin!"
Magician trips and falls.
Magician shouts "I'm down! I'm DOWN!!"
VerantEmployee appears.
VerantEmployee shoves a paper in front of Magician's face.
Magician says "What's this, no weapons needed for dual wield anymore..."
Necromancer cheers.
Necromancer says "Wow we finally got the ability to summon weapons!"
Magician says "...and Sword of Runes only procs on summoned creatures again!"
VerantEmployee kicks Magician for 3 damage.
Magician has been knocked unconscious.
VerantEmployee says "How's THAT for an analogy!"
Magician has been slain by VerantEmployee.
Shaman tries to get mad at VerantEmployee, but is unable to become enraged.
VerantEmployee poofs.
Phara Dar roars.
Paladin tries to make a presence, but he's become mediocre.
Shadowknight roars like a lion, the way it should be.
Tanks attack Phara Dar.
Enchanter looks around for any more mobs and finds none.
Enchanter uses his epic on everybody and goes afk for 10 minutes.
RandomMob walks by.
Necromancer says "Don't worry, I'll solo it."
Wizard chuckles.
Wizard roots and blasts RandomMob.
Necromancer says "Oh please, you need a pet you'll run out of mana."
WizardWithClarity2HarvestEpicWeaponManashieldBardSongAndSpecialize chuckles.
Wizard hits RandomMob with Ice Comet.
Necromancer says "Fine don't listen."
Druid tries to burn a dragon, but is too high to fight Vox and nobody can kill Gorenaire.
Wizard hits RandomMob with Ice Comet.
Bard summons water and food for everyone.
Wizard hits RandomMob with Ice Comet.
Necromancer says "Whatcha at now?"
Wizard says "100%"
Wizard chuckles.
Necromancer begins to summon a dual wielding pet.
Necromancer pulls out his list.
Necromancer crosses off "Summonable Weapons."
Necromancer reads "Okay...that just leaves ports and sow."
Phara Dar Deathtouches Necromancer.
Players cheer.
Players shout "Dead Gnome, woohoo!"
Phara Dar roars.
Monk says "How are we gonna get out of this one?"
-----Meanwhile, In Velious And Completely Unrelated To The Fight-----
Loading, Please Wait...
You have entered The Lair of the Santargg Claugg
An Ogre plays around with a skeleton and an elemental, but decides he doesn't want to touch the invisible sword and shield man.
A Wood Elf appears.
Tingle says "Santargg Claugg Rowyl, would you like some cookies?"
Santargg looks up from his playing.
Santargg says "What kind?"
Tingle says "Bard shaped cookies, they're broken and getting a little stale, but I'm sure you can stomach them if you try."
AnAuthor appears.
AnAuthor points at TheSituation, yeah you!
AnAuthor says "How's THAT for an analogy?"
AnAuthor poofs.
Tingle scratches his head and shrugs.
Santargg sighs.
Tingle says "Kooloompa! What's wrong Santargg?"
Santargg says "Too much work."
Tingle gives Santargg a big hug.
Tingle says "We appreciate you Santargg."
Santargg smiles.
Tingle pulls out a list.
Tingle says "Enchanter wants a pet, Necromancer wants SOW, and Magician wants an Epic Weapon for Ogre's Day."
Santargg sighs.
Tingle says "Kooloompa! Hang in there Santargg."
Santargg says "Okay, no more play, back to work."
Santargg pulls out his tinkering box.
Tingle says "Anything you'd like me to bring you? Spell lists, Quest Bugs?"
Santargg says "No that's okay, I'm working on my box."
Santargg pats his tinkering box.
Santargg says "It's long overdue for an upgrade."
------Meanwhile, back in Kunark------
Phara Dar is hit by non melee for insane damage.
Wizard has slain Phara Dar.
RemainingPlayers cheer.
Wizard says "98%, medding"
Monk says "That was close, good job Warrior."
Warrior says "I was a little worried when he swallowed me, but then I thought...well you know the rest."
Enchanter says "Back from Afk, what's up?"
Warrior says "Only Wizard, Monk, Rogue and I are left, and you of course."
Enchanter says "Where's the water sprinkler?"
Rogue says "Phara Dar ate it."
Enchanter sighs.
Wizard says "I wish Cleric was here instead of Enchanter."
Enchanter says "That's a mean thing to say, why?"
Wizard says "Because then we'd have Rogue, Monk, Warrior, Wizard and Cleric, the only five who are any good in boss fights anyway."
Enchanter says "Yeah but I can help you get here, and I can tag along..."
Wizard says "Yeah but frankly we don't like people like you coming."
Enchanter sighs, wishing he was any good for boss fights.
BunchaDeadPlayers agree.
Monk comforts Enchanter, "Don't worry, at least you're not a Shadow Knight."
Enchanter nods.
RareSpawnVeeshan appears.
Veeshan roars.
Enchanter holds up a sign saying "Yipe."
Veeshan roasts Enchanter, and pulls out some fava beans and a nice bottle of Kianti.
Warrior attacks Veeshan.
Veeshan toys with Warrior.
Veeshan slashes Warrior for 700 damage.
Warrior slashes Veeshan for 50 damage.
Wizard begins to cast a spell.
Warrior slashes Veeshan for 35 damage.
Warrior sighs.
Rogue backstabs Veeshan for 150 damage.
Rogue says " Terrible hit."
Warrior sighs.
Veeshan is hit by non-melee for 32,256 damage.
Wizard sighs, partially resisted.
Wizard begins to cast a spell.
Monk slaps Veeshan with 100 blows.
Veeshan is stunned.
Monk punches Veeshan for 120 damage.
Monk punches Veeshan for 120 damage.
Monk punches Veeshan for 120 damage.
Monk punches Veeshan for 120 damage.
Monk kicks Veeshan for 140 damage.
Warrior drops his sword and picks up a tree branch and a rock.
Warrior flails at Veeshan for 70 damage.
Warrior bashes Veeshan for 95 damage.
Warrior says "Better."
Veeshan is hit by non-melee for a ton'o'damage.
Veeshan tail-slaps Rogue.
Rogue gains flying for three seconds.
Rogue lands on a jagged rock for 100 damage.
Rogue staggers up, and spots something on the ground.
Rogue says "Sprinkler!!!"
Rogue hugs the Water Sprinkler.
Rouge starts ressin people.
Veeshan says "My kind was born to rule, Peasants."
Monk has been deathtouched.
Warrior says "Um, little help here."
NewlyRessedRanger says "Hang in there!"
NewlyRessedRanger punches Veeshan for 1 point of damage.
Veeshan slashes NewlyRessedRanger for 700 damage.
Veeshan slashes NewlyRessedRanger for 700 damage.
NewlyRessedRanger says "Oh, come on!"
NewlyRessedRanger is slain.
Wizard says "5 seconds, that was longer than the average ranger lifespan "
---------------
Veeshan was indeed mighty, but a continual stream of ressed players was enough to do her in...
6hrs later...
Warrior punches Veeshan for 2 damage.
Monk punches Veeshan for 50 points of damage.
Monk chuckles.
Veeshan has been slain by Monk.
Wizards spell is just a fraction for a second late.
Coincidentally, Wizard is the only one who never died during the fight.
Wizard says "Oh come on, my spells suck."
Wizard sits down.
Wizard says "79%, medding."
RecoveredCleric wanders by.
Cleric says "Gee everyone thanks for helping me get my body."
Nobody answers.
Cleric says "Don't any of you remember all those levels I took care of you? Anyone?"
The wind whistles.
Tumbleweed blows across the mountaintop.
Cleric saved.
Cleric sighs.
Druid says "Phat loot!!! Loot the corpse loot the corpse."
Wizard checks corpse.
Wizard says "Only one item. Burning Embers."
GroupOf13 looks around.
ShadowKnight says "Stats?"
Wizard says "Lore, no drop."
Ranger says "Must be for a quest."
Druid says "Random it, random it!!!"
13PeopleRandom.
A magic die is rolled by Druid, it could have been any number 1 to 100, but this time it was 100.
NonDruids sigh.
Druid shouts "PHAT LEWTZ!!!"
Paladin says "It always seems to happen like that."
Druid has looted Burning Embers.
Cleric looks around.
Cleric says "Oh, poor mage."
Cleric grabs the Water Sprinkler from Ranger, who also is hugging it now.
Ranger says "Hey, come back with my lovely item you armored B-"
Wizard interrupts "Oh yeah we forgot about Mage."
Cleric resses Mage.
Sorry, bug in that message...-Rowyl
Water Sprinkler Holder resses Mage.
Sorry again-Rowyl
Water Sprinkler and thing attached to it resses Mage.
RessedMage appears.
Mage says "Aww, you guys cared enough."
Mage extends his arms in a big hug.
Nobody moves.
Mage sighs.
Druid shout "PHAT LEWTZ!!!"
Mage says "What happened?"
Monk says "Veeshan appeared."
Mage says "What'd she drop?"
Monk says "Some burning embers thing, lore no drop. Druid won the roll."
Mage stares wide-eyed at Monk.
Warrior says "Okay everyone, we're done here, let's go home."
Mage sobs uncontrollably.
Bard says "What's up with him?"
Warrior says "I dunno, he's like a cow visiting a steakhouse..."
Ranger says "...who is missing a shoe!"
Rogue says "Great analogy!!!"
Warrior, Ranger, and Rogue high five each other.
OtherPlayers look them quizzically.
BunchaPlayers port out.
Mage sits alone, crying.
MissedMob wanders by.
MissedMob grins, showing foot-long teeth...
Mage has been slain by MissedMob.
-------------------------
Deelit and Alan appear.
Deelit says "Hi all"
Alan waves.
Deelit says "Once again we had some fun, and once again we're here to talk about something important."
Alan says "More important than a dog in a hubcaps factory."
Deelit says "Now I'm no politician..."
Alan says "Yeah, cause being one would be like putting the proverbial foot in your proverbial mouth."
Deelit says "...but I do want to talk about something more important than any election."
Alan says "Indeed."
Deelit says "Yeah, I'm talking about Gnome Bashing (TM)."
Alan says "Which has nothing to do with The Vision (TM, Copyright, Patent Pending)."
Deelit says "Now, I've been against Gnome Bashing since it started. But in spite, and perhaps even because of my publicly spoken views, Gnome Bashing has grown."
A magical map appears.
Deelit summons a pointer.
Alan says "On the Bertoxulous server, more than 67%, that's 2/3 of all high level raids, end with a gnome taking the deathtouch of a boss mob."
Deelit says "Think not only of the Gnomes, but of yourselves, Gnomes are the natural predators of Minotaurs, if they're killed off or endangered, the Minotaur population will grow unchecked. What would you rather have, minotaurs or gnomes?"
Alan says "Minot-"
Deelit nudges Alan and smiles at the camera.
Alan says "Oh yeah...Gnomes."
Deelit points to Cabalis.
Deelit says "Gnomes are a delicacy in Iksar land."
Alan says "Yes, and certain breeds of dragons clean their teeth with Gnomes."
Deelit says "If Gnomes become endangered we will never be able to have these fringe benefits in life."
Alan says "Millions of ogre children will go without pets."
Deelit says "So please...Vote yes on proposition 452, the Gnome Protection and Reintroduction Act."
Alan says "Because only in the safety of zoos can Gnomes be free to repopulate and eventually, hopefully, be released back into the wild."
Deelit says "You can also help by killing off the natural predators of Gnomes, Drolvargs."
Alan says "Over 50 Gnomes are killed by Ravishing Drovargs daily."
Deelit adds "Many of whom were unsuspecting, or just looking for a good time."
Alan says "So please everyone, protect Gnomes, stop Gnome Bashing (TM)."
Deelit and Alan shake hands.
Deelit and Alan say "Verant and Players. Together, we can make a difference."
Alan says "Please pitch in, be a Santargg Clargg to a little Gnome today."
Deelit says "Good analogy."
Deelit and Alan wave goodbye.
----------------------
Hope you all liked.
And welcome to the new guy
Deelit "Wish I Had An Earth Staff" Elementalcaller
56 Magician
Bertox