VidaliaCDC

Aug 21 2003 @ 6:19 am!

*paddling by on floatie* Woke up in the gutter this AM and can't even blame the following fru madness on my Evil Twin ....

(Lobbs three luscious frus on the board)

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MacNairCDC

~fwip~crash~tinkle,tinkle,tinkle...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Hi, gutter buddy! Nice to see you in here this am. I'm glad to see you holding up under all of the family stuff.

...thinking of you while drifting in the deep end....

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VidaliaCDC

*passes MacNair a Merlot*

"Welcome dearie, I've dedicated myself to keeping the gutter flowing."

*bubble bubble*

*Connor's head slowly arises out of the glistening waters of the gutter to smile wikkidly at the clansibs before submerging again. Somewhere the theme music to Jaws starts to whine eerily in the background.*

Na da ... Na da ... nadanadanadanada ......

*Vidalia tosses a grin at MacNair and begins failing about*

(which attracts sharks, ya know)

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MacNairCDC

*giggle*

"Say-y, Vidalia, that shark of ours needs a bit more fin in his tail fin."

"We have a lanky butt shark?" laughed Vidalia. "Oh, funny!"

>snerkle<

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VidaliaCDC

"Here sharky ... sharky ... sharky ...."

*Vidalia calls out as she begins to chum the water with floating shots of scotch*

*Tossing a wikkid grin at MacNair*

"I likes, 'em lanky and lean!"

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MacNairCDC

"Keep luring him in, Vidalia!" called MacNair encouragingly. She was waving an empty floaty about while watching the water. "You're doing great!"

Vidalia gave her a perplexed look. "I say, what's the extra floaty for?"

"As soon as he surfaces--I'll *POP* it over his head and we'll have him!"

Vidalia snickered. "I think we're going to �have� him anyway, but having him slightly subdued by a floaty might be kind of ... interesting." She turned her focus back to the water and the three shots of Scotch all in their mini-life vests. "Here, sharky ... sharky ... sharky...."

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VidaliaCDC

Said Sharky surfaced and took one of MacNair�s scotch shots that had been bouncing around in its little life floaty.

Clasping the shot glass with his talented lips, he flicked his head back and downed the shot in a single gulp.

MacNair, seeing her chance, jammed the spare floaty down over his head--pinning his arms to his sides!

Vidalia laughed, "Yay, MacNair! Nice shot!" She squealed and paddling furiously, scooping up the extra shots bouncing about on the waves created by her floundering. No sense in wasting good scotch and one must keep their Sharky well hydrated!

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MacNairCDC

"What the--? Who the---? Where the--?" demanded the shark. He bobbed a little backwards as he tried to flip his hair back out of his eyes without the use of his hands. "Mac-NAIR! And Vi-DALIA!" he sputtered.

Vidalia paddled over to MacNair's turtle floaty, herding mini-bottles with both arms. There was just enough room on the turtle to perch them all around his green neck. The two studied their captive from one yard away.

"Are you two trying to drown me?" Connor demanded. He studied the scotch shots that were just ... out ... of ... reach. If he had reach. Which wasn't happening anytime soon because the floaty was wedged quite thoroughly against his bare skin around the elbows. He felt like a seal stuck in a life-ring.

"No, dear shark. We're making sure you DON'T drown," Vidalia replied. "Split one?" she asked MacNair.

"Okay, sweets."

Vidalia sipped 1/2 a mini scotch and MacNair sipped the rest. Then coughed. Then made a face. Then stuck her tongue out. "Blar-r-r-r-gh!" she said.

"Ditto," agreed Vidalia. "Merlot is MUCH better."

"IS NOT!" yelled the floating shark. He glared, and then softened his look. "If you don't want them--I'll take them?"

"Oh, you'll take them all right. One at a time and for good performance," drawled Vidalia.

"Hey!" protested the shark, bobbing more energetically.

"You first and I'll critique?" suggested MacNair.

"Okay, sis. I know ju-u-u-ust the thing to start with..." Vidalia's eyes gleamed more brilliantly devilish than usual.

"HEY?" protested the shark. His floaty prison made little circlet waves. "I'll yell for Duncan!" he threatened.

"DUNCAN?" shouted Vidalia.

"HERE!" shouted back the man in question. He raised his glass aloft from his poolside chair to orient them to his position.

"Connor claims he's going to yell for help from you."

"That so?" Duncan raised his sunglasses up to look. "His head is above water, so he's in no danger. Actually, he's in no danger even if his head was underwater, but I digress." The smile he shot Connor's way was pure evil. "Carry on, girls."

"HA!" said Vidalia.

"Hee!" said MacNair.

"Dun-CAN!" roared the shark.

...and then Vidalia slipped beneath the water....

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VidaliaCDC

If there was ever a time that Vidalia was glad she had quit smoking it was now! Amazing how much more energy and lung capacity she had!

Sinking gracefully into the cool blue depths, she warily dodged Connor's half hearted attempts at keeping the distance between himself and whatever mischief she was planning.

A well-formed foot jostled her against her thigh. She immediately captured it with her hands, choked back a giggle, and placed a firm nibble right dead center of the delicate arch.

It�s sure funny how water distorts sounds, she thought giddily. She was sure of MacNair's hoot of laughter and even more sure that the words or sounds that had issued from Connor's mouth weren't nice at all! For good measure she stole another nibble off the back of the Highlander's knee as she kicked back to the surface.

The first sound that greeted her ears was Duncan's roar of laughter and MacNair's giggling .....

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MacNairCDC

"Hey, sis, it's your turn!" Vidalia shouted when she surfaced.

"What? No Speedo?"

"He was thrashing too hard to deal with the Speedo," lamented Vidalia.

"Ha! No scotch for YOU!" MacNair said. She typed notes on a waterproof laptop, courtesy of Methos, who seemed to find things spilled near him, next to him, ON him whenever he was trying to do some computer work.

"Hey, that's not fair!" complained the shark.

"Arguing with discipline, minus another scotch." MacNair typed some more.

"But, I didn't know what she was going to do! I should at least be told the rules before you---"

"Still offering excuses, minus another scotch." Tappity, tappity, tap-tap-tapity

This time, Connor just shut his mouth. His eyes were interesting, but he didn't say a word.

Duncan, across the way in his lounge chair, did all the howling for his kinsman ... and then sipped a tall scotch for good measure.

"So, this makes him down by three shots?"

"My notes read: negative three," affirmed MacNair. She hit SAVE and slipped out of her floaty. Vidalia gave her a high five slap as she passed.

"Try to do better, Mr. Sharky," yelled Vidalia over her shoulder.

"Now," said MacNair, "about those Speedos..."

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VidaliaCDC

Vidalia grinned wikkidly as MacNair slipped beneath the surface, with Speedo retrieval on her mind and Scotch on her breath.

Connor turned to stare at Vidalia who had now assumed MacNair's typist role on the waterproof laptop. "Stop it with the stare Highlander, it doesn't work on me any more," Vidalia stated matter-of-factly as she stopped her typing and downed another shot of scotch.

"Spluuuuurttt, snork, cough, cough, cough," Methos spewing his beer and Lahoffy dried the end of his nose with a towel. Duncan roared again and rolled off his pool chair taking both sheeza and Denise with him.

MacNair's shimmering form was performing its own water ballet and Connor's eyes went an interesting shade of blue green as he twisted himself first one way and then the other....

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MacNairCDC

It shouldn't ... be ... this tough ... to � get ... a Speedo ... off ... this ... man, thought MacNair beneath the water. There's no hiney involved. He hasn't had enough *tampering with* to have any hang-ups anywhere--later maybe, but not yet. So ... why ... is this ... Speedo ... being so ... difficult? She quit her wrangling and popped to the surface for a gulp of air--and came face to face with "the shark."

He looked amused. And smug. But didn't offer a thing. He licked a bead of water off his lip and eyed her back.

"What's the problem with this Speedo, Mr. Sharky?"

"It's new. It has laces up the front."

"Laces?" MacNair looked over at Vidalia. "Who's up next on the 'Laces List'?"

Vidalia consulted with a couple of clicks. "According to the 'lace list'--" she looked up with a grin, "you are!"

"Okay, then I'm legal." She *blooped* beneath the water.

*tug*tug*pull*pull*wrestle*use some teeth to get a grip on a string*tug*pull*wrestle*

Connor eyes got even more interesting with the gyrations beneath the water. When he managed to see straight, he said, "I'm being good. I'm being good. Can I have a shot of scotch yet, I'm being good!"

"Just a minute, sharky," said Vidalia, waiting to see if MacNair's efforts were working.

"Wait ... a ... minute?" squeaked the shark. "Oh, God!"

"Praying will not help you," informed Vidalia.

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VidaliaCDC

Vidalia shouted a rousing, "Hooray and good show!" as MacNair rose from the water with Connor's lace up the front Speedos dangling from her teeth.

There was much cheering from poolside as Duncan, sheeza and Denise, who had crawled to the edge of the pool and were lying on their tummies watching the passing events with much relish. lahoffy and Methos were arguing camera angels as the camera rolled on.

MacNair flourished and mock bowed, twirling the Speedos from her finger tips victoriously, "Thank you, thank you, thankyouverymuch ..."

Vidalia thought to ask if her adventure had been enjoyable but the wikkid twinkle in the Highlander's eyes spoke volumes, even if his mouth was gaping open at the moment, pleadingly. Always a trifle tender hearted, Vidalia took pity on Connor and poured a Scotch down his throat and placed a smacking kiss on the end of his nose.

Turning, Vidalia saw MacNair advancing towards the Highlander and at leisurely pace ....

Silence filled the air .....

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MacNairCDC

Silence filled the air until Connor yelped, "HEY NOW!" and nearly capsized in his floaty straightjacket. (Vidalia, taking notes, added a note to ask MacNair just *what* she had done under the water to produce such a reaction.)

"That," said MacNair, "is for eating the last of the strawberries in the refrigerator."

"Richie helped!" the shark protested--then yelped again.

"And that is for not running to town after that dress at the dry cleaner for me yesterday."

"But 'Rob Roy' was on and I wanted to watch it!" protested the shark. He was trying to kick himself away in his floaty, but succeeded only in bobbing in place more energetically, since MacNair had a hand on his floating prison. "I made you a belt!" he shot at her in defense.

MacNair paused. "You did make me a belt. A fine one at that, with silver and dangles--a right fine belt."

"And it looks 'hotdang' I think you told me..." he reminded her.

"It does." She leaned forward and kissed him, then nipped his chin gently. "I need some silver on my spanking little leather boots."

"Next. Yes, I'll do that next."

"OOOO, Vida-lia? It's your turn, honey." MacNair paddled back to the turtle floaty with the laptop.

"...silver dodads on MacNair's boots..." said Vidalia as she typed her last notes. "Right-0."

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VidaliaCDC

Slipping out of MacNair�s turtle floaty and turning over the typing duties to her clansib, Vidalia halted MacNair with a hand. �So, dearie, exactly what did you do to our beloved got raise such a loud ruckus from him?�

MacNair gave Vidalia a mysterious smile and drew close to whisper in her ear.

Vidalia�s eyes grew round and began to twinkle with a deliciously wikkid light. �OOoooo, my I borrow that?� she asked excitedly.

MacNair nodded her permission, �But you�d better allow him a little time to recover first.�

�Don�t worry, sis, his recuperative powers are remarkable,� she added knowingly with a wikkid wink of her own. �E-mail me all the details and proper steps; I wouldn�t want to make a mistake. I�m running out of band aides.�

Vidalia advanced towards the trapped Highlander. Grasping the floaty, she pulled the captured sharky to her and propped her arms on the side, allowing her body to sink until she was eye level with the wary Scot. She spoke conversationally, �Connor, you know I�ve been here for awhile now and �� She smoothed back an errant strand of his hair that had carelessly fallen across his forehead with one hand while the other disappeared into the water under the floaty.

�Yes, lass that you have,� he replied warily his eyes darting down to where her other hand was disappearing.

�Would you make me something?� She begged prettily.

�Ah �. Errrr�YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!� Connor screeched out.

Smiling Vidalia poured another shot down his throat and slowly sank beneath the water.

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MacNairCDC

"If you keep that up, he's not going to be able to weld anything today," called MacNair.

"Not today?" Vidalia looked over at MacNair. "I'm tired of tripping on that in the middle of the night. We *must* get a stand for it!"

"Not today. He'll set the barn wall on fire."

"I haven't set a barn on fire for a hundred years!" protested the shark.

Vidalia turned to look at him.

"Uh-oh. You shouldn't have let on that you'd recovered your voice, Mr. Sharky," sniggered MacNair. She started typing again. "Time elapsed: 14 seconds. Results possibly skewed due to accusation of inept forge work."

"One more time!" shouted Duncan from the sidelines.

"Hush, Highlander, I'm trying to take a nap," remonstrated Methos, who was holding a dozing lahoffy as well.

"For the statistics, Vidalia," sighed MacNair. "One more time."

"My lips are getting tired," protested Vidalia.

"Her ... lips ... are ... getting ... tired?" groaned the shark.

"Okay, okay, let's switch...."

MacNair paddled out towards the spot where Connor was floating and Vidalia paddled towards the laptop on it's floating perch. Midway, they both grinned like diabolical fiends ... which was almost true.

Almost.

They were worse. Much worse!

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VidaliaCDC

Vidalia tapped furiously on the laptop, which was also precariously balancing the second half of the fourth shot of scotch ....

No ... wait ... make that the second half of the fifth ...

Oh, what the hell, she thought. The stuff was starting to taste pretty darn good and it was making her lips nice and numb � and on a more responsible note: One should always have lip balm and chap stick handy by pool at all times for more advanced games.

Vidalia focused her eyes on the soles of MacNair's feet as they broke the surface, splashing daintily.

"Interesting technique, MacNair," Duncan yelled encouragingly from his perch by the pool, where he was unaware that pacem was steadily creeping up with blue feather in hand aiming for his bare toes.

Vidalia sighed and hoped MaNair hadn't gone too far, she'd never seen Connor's eyes move quite like that before ....

The right one was rotating clockwise and the left counter clockwise ......

And when MacNair's dainty toes curled his eyes rolled back in his head ....

Interesting technique, indeed! It would be a long while before Connor would be allowed back to the forge ....

Well, all in all, it wasn't too bad and she really didn't mind tripping over stuff in the middle of the night ... but she was running low on band aides�

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MacNairCDC

~Later~

~MUCH later~

�Just what were you doing to Connor under the water out there anyway?� asked lahoffy. �When you two finally let him out of that trap�he just went and had a �nice lie down� for about SIX HOURS!�

�Oh, not much, really. I just played around with him.�

�Where, you gutter-wench-you, where?�

�His belly button. Don�t you know how ticklish he is underwater?�

�You TICKLED him?� lahoffy stared a goggle. �That�s it?�

�Yeah, that�s it.� MacNair leaned over conspiratorially. �He couldn�t let Duncan know he was just ticklish! And his pride wanted Duncan to think he was having a Real Good Time, too! So he won�t EVER tell Duncan the truth.�

lahoffy laughed. �Highlander pride?�

�Never to be underestimated.�

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