�You ought.�

�I oughtn�t�

�You ought.�

�I oughtn�t.�

�You OUGHT!�

�Oughtn�t.�

�OUGHT!�

�Ough--OWW!�

�You, kind sir, o-u-g-h-t. And if you keep quibbling with me, I�m going to kick you in the shin again.�

*glare*

*snarky look leveled right back.*

�I kind of like Duncan stewing over a perceived slight towards me.�

�I�ve quite had enough of Duncan stewing, you liking it, and it all over a �perceived� slight towards you. Vidalia�s been amongst us all this time and you�ve never straightened this out.� *glower* *lean closer* �She�s about to be CLAN and it�s time this was settled.�

*silence*

�Don�t make me settle it FOR you.�

�Okay, okay, okay. I�ll settle it with Duncan.�

�Good.� *brushes hands together*

On Wednesday, Connor spent ten minutes over his toast and coffee chuckling to himself. Methos, wisely, did not ask�but Duncan did.

�What�s so funny, Connor?�

�Vidalia.�

Duncan scowled and asked nothing more, not even when he finally noticed that Connor had whistled the whole time he mucked out the shed that housed the sheep at night. When the elder Scot finished, he took a run at the wooden fence and catapulted over it by one hand on the top rail.

�He�s been feeling his oats,� laughed Richie. �I haven�t seen him do that since the last clipboard experiment on him.�

�Don�t remind me,� quipped Methos from a sunny spot near the pool. �They kept me awake all night.�

On Tuesday, Connor chuckled some more over breakfast and sported a decidedly untidy look. The debauchery was evident in the untucked shirt, the slovenly hair, and the unshaved cheeks. He had a bandage on one thumb. Duncan stared at it as if it blinked on and off like a twinkle light.

�What happened to you?? pointedly asked Duncan.

�Oh � just Vidalia,� replied Connor.

Duncan scowled again and busied himself with his cereal. Connor never even seemed to notice Duncan�s irritation. He whistled through washing seven vehicles in 97-degree heat and just laughed when Richie roared up on his bike and settled a coat of dust over three of them. The elder Highlander washed them again and Duncan watched him through the window: all elbows and bare feet, white foam and waterdroplets.

Connor hand waxed Vidalia�s 510 pickup until it gleamed enough to hurt his eyes.

�I bet your shoulders ache after that,� soliloquized Duncan when his kinsman came in the kitchen.

Connor paused after a long pull from a beer. �I�m sure it will be worth it.� He went back to guzzling the cold brew, completely missing Duncan�s exasperated sigh.

On Thursday, Connor didn�t chuckle over breakfast. He didn�t even show up for breakfast and Duncan hunted through the main house in a fruitless search for his clansman, carrying a bowl of oatmeal. �Hey�your oats are getting cold!� he shouted. He knew Connor liked them hot. The elder man ate them every day, on his feet, just as he did as a boy in the Highlands.

But today, there was no answering shout. Duncan even checked the hillside to see if he�d gone for an impromptu run.

�Where is Connor?� he asked Richie.

�No idea.�

�Where is Connor?� he asked lynnann.

�He�s not with k�lynn; I just snuck her a box of pipe cleaners, colored sand, and alphabet soup.�

�For breakfast?�

�She thinks she�s going to kindergarten again and she wants to work on her letters.�

�Oka-a-ay.�

Duncan didn�t locate Connor until 1:22 pm, long past the time that he scraped the cold oatmeal down the drain and whirrrrred the garbage disposal to grind it up. Long past even the time he tossed the ham and tomato sandwich he�d made for Connor in the trash. Past his searching and teeth grinding and slamming of the stall doors as he shook out fresh bedding for the horses.

�Where the hell have you been? I�ve turned the place upsidedown searching for you,� demanded Duncan.

Connor winced and held his head. �Must you shout? I�m not deaf, you know.�

�You must have been, for all the calling I did for you.�

�Did you check the dungeon?�

�The dungeo�� Duncan bit the word off at the end with a scowl of comprehension. �Let me guess: Vidalia.�

Connor looked impish. Then staggered and had to put a hand on the wall. �Man, I�m tired. I need some sleep.� He leveled a bleary look at Duncan�s face. �Why were you so worried about me, anyway? You could tell no strange immortal was in camp.�

�I know there wasn�t, but � still �� The darker Scot trailed off his words, feeling foolish.

�I�m goin� to bed,� slurred Connor, and he wobbled away up the staircase and down the hall.

Duncan noticed that he crashed in lahoffy�s room. �At least I know he�s with someone I trust, tonight. Sort of.�

Friday morning was clear and bright. hayden and MacNair bustled around watering plants, while lynnann opened all the cross windows for the cool morning breeze. Duncan watched lahoffy�s door�which remained shut. He watched all morning, even past 10 am when everyone bustled and shut the drapes on the sunny side of the house, closed the windows, and set the air conditioning.

Finally, at last, the door opened. Connor emerged, looking disheveled and tired.

�I see lahoffy put you through your paces,� chuckled Duncan as he took in his friend�s appearance.

�Yeah, her too.�

�Her � too?�

�Vidalia and lahoffy decided on a tag-team approach.� He slugged down a glass of orange juice from the refrigerator and juice trickled down the corners of his mouth. He wiped them off with the corner of his striped sleep shirt. �They were almost too organized. They nearly had me down.�

Duncan scowled and looked away.

�What�s eating you?� gruffly asked Connor. He prodded Duncan on the arm with one finger. �Usually you�re full of bedevilment when the girls nearly get the best of me.�

�Vidalia.�

Connor smiled and his eyes crinkled at the corners. �What about her?�

�She waltzed in here and caught us all unawares and escaped before we could detain her. Next thing I know, she�s got Methos staggering drunk up in the attic, she�s got you chained up to the wall in the dungeon�what�s next? Shall we all blissfully put our heads and hands in stocks and never mind the danger?�

�Whoa, whoa, whoa, kinsman! It isn�t about her sneaking in here�hell, METHOS snuck in here when he arrived! You found him drinking beer exactly one foot off your radar range the first time! He even had his damned feet in the pool!

"And lynnann, she just snuck across when the girls moved � like she�d hitched her wagonload of possessions onto Cinnamonbear�s last load! Janne read a story and showed up with an evil twin!� The elder Scot squinted into Duncan�s face. �This isn�t about Vidalia sneaking in�even Denise and imnxtc snuck in. What addles you is that she escaped your clutches and NO woman escapes your clutches.�

Duncan harrumphed directly into his face. �It�s more than that.�

�She oogled me in the night.�

Duncan canted an eyebrow at him. �There�s that, too.�

�As if I didn�t know I was being oogled�� snorted Connor.

�You KNEW?�

�Of course I knew!� He swatted Duncan across the arm. �You think I don�t register an oogle in the middle of the night in hope it might lead to something MORE? And you, you lame brain, you chased her off!�

�She � I � you � but when � how did � wait a cotton picking minute, you numbskull!�

Connor poked a stiffened forefinger into his chest. �She was invited. She crept in because she was afraid. She brought gifts! Including one for k�lynn, which automatically puts her in a special category. She paused to oogle me and, if she hadn�t felt so timid, might have snuck in for a peck on the cheek! She twirls super-soakers on her fingers and has contests with hayden � what more did you want?�

*silence*

*a sigh*

�You�re right. I�ve nursed a bit of a grudge. She caught me off guard and I felt like I�d failed the protection of the Clan.�

Connor chuckled. �I saw her at the doorway. She didn�t buzz, she wasn�t immortal, and she didn�t have a sword. All I saw was two large eyes and a lot of drool.�

Duncan harrumphed again.

�And a sigh. She sighed, too,� added Connor. �Like she wished she could belong to us, but was afraid to ask. And now, the girls have asked her formally and she is about to become a full member of this Clan.� He aimed a look directly into Duncan�s eyes. �And she feels like she belongs here, but worries a bit about you and your forgiveness.�

�Okay, okay, I get the point.� Duncan took a deep breath. �You�re right, I�m sure you know. It hasn�t been Vidalia at all. It�s been me�-I need to quit blaming her for some perceived failure in my guarding ability.�

Connor slung a long arm around his kinsman. �You didn�t fail anyone, Duncan. How could you fail when no one has been hurt?� *pause* �Except for us giggling our rears off at her antics and my thumb nearly being bitten off��

�She bit your thumb off?� protested Duncan, pulling away.

�Nearly. I said nearly, you lummox! She told me to hold still and � I � uh � almost couldn�t!� Connor grinned. �You would have lost three fingers in THAT deal!�

�Hey!�

�Heh!�

Saturday morning dawned brighter and more brilliant than usual�typical for a Clan Induction Par-TAY day. The girls could barely restrain their joy and Vidalia was pounced upon as soon as she emerged from slumber, treated to a fine breakfast and good coffee, and then trotted off to poolside to lounge for the rest of the day.

�You�re the Guest Of Honor. You get to sit and do nothing.�

�Nothing? B-but � nothing at all?� Vidalia protested. A plate of snacks was put on her lap and a drink put in her hand.

�Okay, then,� corrected pacem. �You can drool. And oogle. And giggle to your hearts content.�

�Oh, well then � that should keep me busy!� Vidalia beamed back at her soon-to-be-full-fledged-clansister. �But I must say � this Induction Par-TAY has taken forever to get here!�

�It sure has,� lamented lahoffy. �Why, I could have a par-TAY every day!�

�We know,� said MacNair.

�We know,� said Sharz.

�We know,� said Denise. �It would just be fine to stay in the gutter all day!�

�With Duncan�� added lynnann.

�And Connor�� added Janne.

�And a side of Richie and Methos!� laughed Sheeza.

�Good thing those are industrial strength gutters, MacNair,� reminded Denise. �And I�ve been careful to not leave any foot dents on the bottom this time.�

�That�s because I had them install deeper ones this time,� laughed MacNair, no stranger to foot dents in the gutter herself�

~Bang~ went the front door and the CDCers whirled to look and stared! Connor MacLeod strode out to poolside and yelled, �VIDALIA, you wild chick! You�re about to become a CDCer! Any last words before your fate is sealed?�

The woman in question sputtered with laughter and protest at the same time.

�I must warn you,� continued the wildly dressed Scot. �I have marshmallows stuffed in these pockets and any protest you might want to voice, I can easily take care of!�

*more laughter*

lynnann leaned over to whisper to MacNair: �I bet he doesn�t know that k�lynn likely heard those marshmallows go by in his pants and dove in there to gobble them up! There�s not a puffy she�s met that she couldn�t get�he�s got nothing but air in those pants. Umm ... besides himself, that is,� she tacked on with a sly smile.

MacNair turned her head very slowly and looked at lynnann. �k�lynn can hear marshmallows?�

�Of course. They giggle like marbles, only fluffier sounding.�

~Bang~ went the door the second time, but the CDCers were so entangle with Connor�s wild garb, his boyish laugh and the rebellious hair, that they didn�t even see Duncan until he hit the chair beside Vidalia, UPSIDEDOWN and grinned at her.

�Hey, sneaky. Once we have CDC tacked onto your name proper, do you think we could have a go together in that dungeon of yours? I have to learn all of your secrets so no one else can pull a fast one like that and give me heart failure for a few months!�

*squeak* said Vidalia.

*hoot!* said the CDCers.

�Hey! He�s got fancier stripes!� yelled Connor. �That is SO unfair! She�s mine, I�m telling you! Mine! She oogled me first!�

�Oh bother,� said Vidalia.

�You�ll get used to it,� called MacNair above the din. �There will be plenty of time to practice soothing them.�

~finis~
MacNairCDC

Written in one blistering streak on July 28, 2003 for Vidalia! Welcome home, dearie! Welcome home!

Back to The Playroom

Back to the Library

Home