hayden

A shirtless Duncan wiped the sweat from his brow as he paused in his task of taming the spring ground. His muscles flexed and gleamed in the sun has he bent to restart the massive piece of iron commonly called a tiller.

Methos and Connor reclined under an oak watching the show of the ladies drooling over the shirtless Highlander, knowing he was loving every moment of their attention.

�So tell me again why he does this? Besides all the attention that is � come SEPTEMBER most of what he plants now will be fading.�

MacNair

�Because the girls *love* it so," announced Connor. "They drool and oooh and awww with every move he makes." He took a swig from the brew he was currently sharing with the ROG. "We just sit back and let him do all the work and prep--then get to help take care of all these hormone-driven girls!"

pacem

"Come on, give me a hand," Duncan grunted to the immobile immortal audience. "The girls love us dirty and sweaty. It's fun and invigorating ... very, very sexy!"

"No thanks, Tom Sawyer" drawled Methos "I like my brew in the shade, thank you."

Denise

"Don't even think that will work with me," Connor warned. "You'll be all tired and tuckered and the old man and I will have to pick up your slack." He tugged at the bottle in Methos hand only to find lanky butt had switched it to the far side.

hayden

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yelled the ladies as Duncan bent over to pickup a SIX pack of petunias

MacNair

"For crying out loud, Duncan?" shouted Methos, grabbing his head. "Quit using petunias as an excuse to waggle your pants!"

pacem

"Get a grip, old man!" Richie yelled from the kitchen window, "Can't you see what this is doing to the CDCers and friends?" He pointed to the mesmerized ladies and laughed!

Denise

Hunkering down to plant the flowers, Duncan ignored his fellow immortals. He recalled the old children's book about the Little Red Hen that did all the work and none of the other animals helped, but they all wanted to have some of the bread. He smiled. He wasn't sure he was up handling all the CDC sibs and friends, but he wouldn't mind trying.

hayden

"I think he's getting that look on his face," a worried Connor frowned. He counted on Duncan sharing the ladies and doing the work, however it was evident his cousin was thinking differently. "Old man, I think we better plant a few flowers or Duncan is going to have all the good women tonight!"

MacNair

"Just you watch," smugly announced Methos. Whereupon he rose, put down his beer carefully, and strode determinedly out into the flower bed ... stepped on the hoe that Duncan had left out and S-SMACKED it into his face with enough force to knock himself down!

pacem

KKKerr-plunck!!! The ROG was down for the count � and as he fell the carefully place beer can went flying toward the moat! Everyone watched~~speechless and helpless~~as the aluminum missile headed straight for Puff, bounced once on his nose and then in an instant he snarfed the entire contents down in one big gulp!

*burp!*

Denise

"Lordy,� Denise exclaimed, her attention finally torn from Duncan. Her eyes slanted suspiciously at Connor. "You haven't been lacing his brew again have you? If you have, Methos will recover--but I'm not sure about Puff or us."

lahoffy

Many ancient curses filled the air around Methos, and for variety's sake, he even tossed in some modern ones! "Doesn't anyone CARE that I'm hurt?!?" he pouted.

MacNair

�Never mind that I can�t see, that my nose is broken, that I have a freight train in my head,� the ROG continued to lament, holding both hands over his face. �I�m not the hero, or the one with the funny accent from �nowhere and everywhere��I�m just the fossil around here!� He peered surreptitiously through two fingers to see if his litany was working and was gratified to see various CDC faces filled with shock and dismay. Now, they�re paying attention.

pacem

�Oh no!" Connor just shook his head at the "fossil's" theatrics. "Your nose is already healing, the freight train is probably from the beer, and you just plain talk funny," Connor muttered under his breath.

Denise

�Please,� Duncan demanded, "get off the petunias." There was a loud belch from Puff's way and Methos hurriedly scrambled for what he hoped would be out of the dragons way.

lahoffy

�Quit your bellyaching, old man," Richie said, "you know the girls will notice us when they're good and ready. Have another beer."

MacNair

�Rotton immortals,� Methos said to every one present. �You ruined my fake job! Have you NO sense?� He glared at Connor and then Richie. �First you get hurt, then you get comforted! Didn�t you GET it?�

pacem

�Shhhhhhhhhh......do you hear that?" Connor held up his hand and commanded silence. Everyone stopped and listened to the frightening rumbles steadily growing louder and louder and,louder! As all eyes turned toward the moat poor Puff let out a bellowing ball of fire and indigestion.

*hiccup* he said when it was all over and the CDCers and friends all ran to the dear ailing dragon to offer solace and comfort.

Denise

�To bad you were upstaged by a moat dweller," Connor taunted Methos, watching the girls cuddle and pet the creature. "You're losing your touch, next thing you know Richie will be getting your share of attention."

lahoffy

�Uh-uh!" Methos muttered in protest. "Not if I can help it. I haven't lived 5000 years without learning a few tricks for gaining female attention."

MacNair �Vertigo,� the ROG said, his face blank. �I think my cervical spine is mishealed.� He said it so clinically, in Doctor�s tone, that even Duncan stood straighter and strode nearer. �I don�t feel very good,� he added, letting himself waver on his feet. Duncan�s expression turned to dismay�

lahoffy

�Watch and learn," the old guy whispered to Connor. Without warning, Methos suddenly dropped bonelessly to the ground. (In much the same way that he could bonelessly sprawl in chairs, Connor noted.)

MacNair [Who was SERIOUSLY confuzzled and restarted at letter U!?]

�Uuhh-hh-hhhhhh," he moaned, flopping his hands uselessly on the ground. He could feel the earth rumble with the herd, pack, flock, gaggle, armada of CDCers that were converging on his position! This is *EXACTLY* what I wanted! Just you watch, you Highlander-types! he thought smugly.

lahoffy

Various CDC'ers knelt around the ROG, smoothing his hair back, patting gently along his body for possible injuries, laying cool hands against his forehead to take his temperature and murmuring soothing words. Much better he thought, Perhaps I can even con that backhoe key away from hayden if I play my cards right. With that thought he let out another dramatic moan.

MacNair

�What do you want to bet that this is a fake?" questioned Connor sidelong to his kinsman. Duncan looked properly aghast ... then suspicious. "I'll bet you a case of Wikkid Ale that this is just a ploy to get the girls attention!" announced Connor, melodramatically.

lahoffy

�X� usually marks the spot on a treasure map, but the wicked glare that Methos shot in Connor's direction hit the spot as well. Connor chuckled as a few of the CDC�ers realized that they'd forgotten about immortal's quick healing abilities and their expressions turned from "Ooo, poor baby" mode to "kill the old guy mode."

MacNair

�You�re faking it!� growled one girl, her fingers twisted in Methos� cotton shirt. �You�ve been faking it all along?!� She twisted harder, and Methos� eyes darted about. �You�ve been fishing for attention the whole time?�

lahoffy

Zebras have stripes, cheetahs have spots, but neither one of them could beat the old guy when it came to camouflage and deception.

"Some of us don't have the body beautiful or the intense eyes to gain the attention of such lovely ladies as yourself," the ROG said as he gestured towards the two Highlanders. "Is it really so wrong to fake injury just to gain a small bit of female companionship?"

Smiling without smirking, he gazed levelly at the one holding his shirt hostage. He felt the grip loosen just slightly as she considered his words. Inwardly, he smirked. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to talk my way out of this.

Duncan snorted. "You're not buying that innocent act, are you? It's just another trick to get out of his well deserved punishment."

The grip tightened again. "Yes, I'd say he does deserve to be punished, doesn't he?" She looked around at her clansibs and at a nod, they all converged on the ROG and as one, picked the old guy up and tossed him into the pool.

"And when you're dry...there's still more planting to do," another girl announced as they all walked off in a huff.

"And NO beer!" tossed out another one as she picked up the cooler.

Methos stared sorrowfully at the departing beer and wondered just where his plan had gone wrong. The laughter from the two Highlanders reached his ears and he turned to glare at them as he hauled himself out to stand dripping and bedraggled. "Next time, remind me NOT to attempt this with you two boy scouts around!"

~finis~

MacNair places blame for repeating part of the alphabet squarely on Methos, who MUST have spiked her drink while she was typing, laughing, editing, par-TAYING!

�ever notice how hayden starts these things and then leaves? >giggle<

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