Duncan crept cautiously through the main hall of the house. If he was lucky, he might make it out to the garage without being seen and get this stupid errand over with�

"Hey, Mac, whatcha doing?" Rich suddenly asked from behind him. He jumped round quickly, careful to keep his hand behind his back, and tried for nonchalance.

"Just going out to the garden for some air." Oops, he�d said that a bit fast. Maybe Rich wouldn�t have noticed� no, he was looking distinctly skeptical.

"Just some air, huh? So what�s that behind your back?"

Damn. The trouble with having so many mayhem makers (though he loved them all dearly) was that now any slightly furtive behavior tended to rouse intense suspicion. Not that he�d been furtive, of course. Just quiet. And careful.

"Nothing." Though apparently not careful enough.

"Come on, I can see it�s not nothing or you wouldn�t be hiding it. Let me see�"

Duncan dodged quickly out of the way as Rich made a grab for his arm, managing to keep from turning his back with some quick footwork as they danced about the hall. This was all going horribly wrong. And when had Rich got so good at stealth anyway? That wasn�t fair. The door had been so close!

But he should still make it OK if he was quick and at least it was only Rich. The thought had barely crossed his mind when he felt the object he was trying so hard to hide plucked neatly from his grasp. He froze for a second, then turned slowly, desperately praying. *Please be Connor, please be Connor*.

Oh.

There is no God.

Either that or He has a really warped sense of humor. Because it wasn�t Connor, but Methos who stood there, gazing blankly down at the cuddly toy sheep in his hands as it stared back with typical sheeply befuddlement.

Methos looked up slowly, taking in Duncan�s frozen panic and embarrassment and Rich�s look of astonishment, and his eyes gradually filled with an unholy glee.

If this was a nightmare, Duncan would really like to wake up now.

The tableau continued for another second before Rich broke the silence.

"That was what you were hiding? A toy sheep?"

Methos shook his head at him wisely.

"Ah, Rich, don�t you know you should never to try and separate a Scotsman and his sheep?"

Duncan winced. This was going to be bad. "What�s that supposed to mean?" he asked, regaining the use of his vocal cords at last.

"Nothing MacLeod, just warning Rich how possessive Highlanders can get over their livestock. After all, didn�t sheeprustling start several of the Clan wars?"

"Well, yes, but� anyway, this isn�t my livestock." Maybe if he made it clear why he had a sheep this would stop here before Methos started to really have fun. And the explanation, though slightly embarrassing, would surely be less painful than anything the Old Man came up with. But before he could find a way to begin, Rich butted in.

"You went to war over a SHEEP?"

"No, not a sheep, over flocks of sheep."

"Well, obviously that�s completely reasonable�"

"It is if the flock of sheep is your livelihood and the one of the things you�re counting on to keep your family alive during the winter and some bastard Fraser is trying to make off with it!"

"Whoa, Mac. Relax. I didn�t know sheep were something you felt so strongly about."

Mac groaned internally. Comments like that were a red rag to a bull around certain annoying ancients. Better try and keep the conversation on history and culture. "I don�t, I was just pointing out�" But Methos interrupted again.

"You mean you�ve never heard him waxing lyrical about the happy days he spent guarding the flocks? Lucky sod. Though I thought you would have guessed - after all everyone knows Scotsmen have strong feelings for sheep."

Oh, Lord. This was it. Even Rich couldn�t fail to get the meaning behind that emphasis and the accompanying eyebrow waggle.

"Oh man! You mean�" Yes, here it came.

"Methos." he growled warningly, and made a feint for the sheep, as the young Immortal�s eyes widened in comprehension and delight. But Methos evaded him easily and kept talking, dodging behind the now grinning Rich.

"Oh yes. Just what you�re thinking. Hey, do you know the difference between a Scottish sheepfarmer and the Rolling Stones?"

"Nope, Old Man, what�s the difference?"

"The Rolling Stones say �Hey you get off my cloud� and the Scottish sheep farmer says �Hey MacLeod, get off my ewe�!"

"Oh, shut up!" Duncan snapped, making another attempt at retrieval as Rich howled with laughter, and missing again.

Oh for crying out loud, the sneaky bastard had thrown it to Rich!

"Though I suppose we shouldn�t mock. All those lonely nights on the hills with only the animals for company. I suppose it�s understandable really�and Duncan did seem to remember it so fondly."

"METHOS!" Maybe if he went that way he could get it� damn, now Methos had it again.

"Especially of a particular ewe � Bessie wasn�t it?"

Rich promptly collapsed on the floor, laughing so hard he cried, as outrage pinned Duncan to the spot.

That was it! Methos was going down!

"Give me back my sheep!" he yelled, lunging forward only to trip and fall flat on his face as Methos threw the toy at his feet and legged it out the door.

After a few deep breaths he sat up and dusted off the fluffy thing, glaring at Rich who by now had been reduced to hiccuping in the corner. When he got his hands on that old pain in the ass he was going to kill him! A lot! In several painful ways�

Just as he was planning the first way, Methos stuck his head back round the door with the most evil grin Duncan had ever seen.

"BAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he yelled.

And vanished again, as Duncan sprinted after him, sheep clutched firmly in one hand and swearing furiously in Gaelic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epilogue � two days later

Duncan gazed out of the window in horror, then closed his eyes. It couldn�t be real. He was just hallucinating because of that business with Methos and Rich, and he�d probably eaten too much cheese at lunch.

He�d just about convinced himself (though he was careful to avoid the window) when Connor wandered into his room looking confused.

"What�s up?"

"Duncan, did you order a flock of sheep?"

Oh no. No, no, no. He�d been so relieved that no one had brought the incident the other day up again, but he should have known Methos wouldn�t let it go that easily.

"No. Why?"

"Because there�s a man out there putting one in our fields and he says they belong to you."

Duncan groaned and let his head sink into his hands.

It was real. A real live flock of sheep. He was never going to live this down.

And they were probably all called Bessie�

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(And before you ask, I have no idea why Duncan was sneaking around the compound with a toy sheep. The stubborn ****ing Scot won�t tell me. Though given the comment he dropped about the garage, I�m assuming my twin was involved! Feel free to try and get it out of him, anyone.)

JanneCDC
Mar 11, 2003

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