The tap on the attic door was timid at best. Great heavens, Methos thought, who is knocking? The CDC ladies rarely knocked, their methods leaned more towards erupting into a room and spewing forth mayhem and general chaos, bless their bones.

Curiosity over ruled his caution and he opened the door. Ha, Vidalia, he thought, harmless visitor, not that he was making any judgments, she looked sweet enough, on the quiet side but clever. He had spotted her infiltration into the compound a few nights ago; actually it had been he who had dropped the hint in younger Highlander�s ear that some strange woman had been leering at his sleeping kinsmen.

The pandemonium that had ensued had been an amusing diversion and having a convenient excuse to rile the younger MacLeod was always a plus. So, the guest was here to check him out? The evening was looking up, he thought smugly.

�Uh, hmmm�. I�d,� she seemed to be unable to complete sentences at the moment.

Methos was intrigued it had been a while since he had a woman speechless, well at least a day or two.

Hiding his amusement at her obvious discomfort, Methos smiled gently down at her flushed face. She was looking confused and a bit distressed, he mused, as if she weren�t sure exactly what to do about him.

�Hi, Vidalia, welcome to the attic,� he replied conversationally.

�Hi, uhmmmm, I�m Vidalia and MacNair lured me here with chocolate.� She blurted out and immediately blushed beet red to the roots of her hair.

�Would you like to come in?� he asked carefully controlling his urge to laugh out loud.

Nodding her head to the affirmative she moved into the room and Methos closed the door behind her and, as a precaution, turned the dead bolt until it clicked in place. The CDC ladies probably have their senses heightened already if they knew she was here. The first night Vidalia hadn�t been able to get a word in edgewise. A little uninterrupted time was all he needed to get to know all her secrets he grinned to himself egotistically.

Methos turned to see Vidalia gazing around the attic and its eclectic disarray. �If I known you were coming�I�d�� he began.

Looking up into his face with an elfin grin, �No it reminds me of my office. Except for the toy soldiers,� she answered honestly, �and besides I like chaos.�

Sense of humor thought Methos, he could work with that. He noticed she carried the same backpack as she had the night she first broke into the compound.

�What�s in the backpack?� He questioned casually, almost too casually.

Vidalia gave him a look that indicated she knew exactly what he was hoping was in the backpack. Teasingly she sat the pack on the cluttered table and slowly unzipped the long zipper. Methos groaned at her attempt to torture him, please, please, please he mentally chanted, beer, and beer, let there be beer.

Vidalia made a great show of rummaging through the pack before she finally lifted out the cold pack holding the four pack of Guinness. With a devilish grin she tossed it over to Methos who caught it in all reverence that a good brew should be met with.

�There�s more.� She laughed when he looked as if he were going to lay claim to the entire four pack.

Good girl, he thought, and opened a bottle with enthusiasm and downed a goodly portion.

Vidalia had turned back to her backpack and was again rummaging through its mysterious contents.

Methos took the beer to the lounger and slouched and slumped until he found his most comfortable position and sighed greatly into comfort. When he glanced back at Vidalia she had obviously found what she had been looking for and was walking around the attic carefully scrutinizing each nook and cranny as well as turning over the mirrors and peering behind them.

It took Methos a moment to decipher that she was looking for the security cameras! Now what was she up to? he wondered. Well. He mused, the girl couldn�t be all that bad, she had brought beer!

Her excited squeak brought his attention back to her. She had located the first of the three security cameras and was grinning up into it like a monkey.

�Sorry ladies. Connor, Duncan, and *hey* Richie, save me a sandwich--I�ll be hungry later,� she mouthed at the camera lens as it gradually rotated towards her face. With a huge smirk she removed the tube of washable non-toxic finger paint; applying a small amount to the ends of her fingers she slowly covered the entire surface of the security camera�s lens with the blue green paint. Quickly she discovered the others and they received the same treatment. Moving to the computer desk she deftly switched off the monitor for good measure.

That was going to tweak the younger Highlander�s ponytail quite properly, Methos thought. Good going--the girl was getting the hang of pulling Duncan�s chain. Methos wondered if she was woman enough to take her punishment when the Highlander decided to retaliate for her impishness? Now *that* would be an interesting turn of events and Methos couldn�t wait.

Methos, already into his third beer, watched her with some consideration. Using the toe of one foot she kicked off one white Reebok and it landed in the corner. The other followed it almost immediately. Next she was tugging her sweat shirt over her head to reveal a white sleeveless mock turtle neck. She threw that in the corner, too. Reaching into her pack once more she removed an object Methos was sure he had never seen before. Swinging it back and forth slowly on the tips of her fingers Vidalia approached Methos with a smile of pure deviltry on her cute face.

�Methos�.. Would you like to play a game?� She purred.

�Damnation and hell fire,� the tall dark Scot shouted as the monitor before him went entirely an interesting shade of blue green. The anger in his voice carried through out the main house alerting his clansman to his obvious distress. Connor MacLeod wandered unhurriedly into the room where his kinsman was cursing soundly in three different languages. �Damn it! First she can get into the compound without setting off the perimeter alarms and now she�s locked in the attic with Methos and she�s disabled all my security cameras and the audio as well!�

Connor smiled at Duncan�s concern for Methos. �Duncan, Methos is 5000 years old and Vidalia�s a mortal woman who just happens to care about us all. He�s in no danger from her, she on the other hand�.� The older Scot let his voice drift.

Duncan turned a wary brow towards his cousin �You don�t think Methos would harm her in any way? I mean she�s not clan�but..?�

�I think we give them an hour then we check on them. After all it was Methos who locked the door right?� Answered the older man sagely trying to reassure Duncan�s misgivings.

�One hour, no more. Then I�m breaking down the attic door!� Duncan grumbled.

One hour later a great thud sounded from the attic accompanied by muffled sounds that sounded a lot like moans of pain. A second and third followed in secession with more muffled groans.

Duncan grabbed his katana had rushed to the stairs to the attic followed by Connor, Richie and the CDC ladies. �I don�t care what you say Connor I�m going in.� Duncan threw back over his shoulder as he raced up the steps.

Connor grabbed his clansman�s shoulder just before he started chopping away at the thick wooden door. The noise from the attic had ceased and was replaced by voices. The Highlanders leaned in close to place their ears against the door straining to hear more�

The CDC ladies had grown very quiet which was not a good thing at the best of times�carefully they all listened�their eyes growing round with amazement!

�bubb lowb mnsolod�

�No� No� No� Methos you have to keep it in your mouth until you hit the mark.�

�mhmmm buba bubal da bub,� came the muffled reply.

�Methos, you�re five thousand years old and you�re acting like you�ve never done this. Now concentrate and adjust your aim.� Vidalia answered encouragingly.

�Butta unmmba hemhummmm snort,� came the rather caustic mumbled reply.

�Well, that�s uncalled for; I was just trying to help!� Vidalia replied miffed. �Here, shift your leg that way and try again! No, not sideways--just straight ahead, man, straight ahead!� Vidalia urged a trifle impatiently.

Meanwhile in the hallway outside the attic door�.

The Highlanders, Richie, and the CDC ladies were beyond help! They were rolling on the floor laughing their collective hineys off!

The resounding crash from the attic stopped their laughter and Duncan kicked the door in. For a moment everyone was frozen in time at the scene that greeted his or her eyes.

In the middle of the attic was Methos� favorite chair lying on its back. Protruding up in the air were two sets of feet, one bare Methos set and one covered with pink and white toe socks. Vidalia? The floor around the chair was littered with Guinness cans and small plastic red and blue ants. Giggles, guffaws, snickers and snorts were issuing from the over turned chair

�Shssssss, I think somebody�s at the door.� Vidalia cautioned in a voice that sounded as if she had also been a participant in the beer consumption.

The stunned observers from the hallway watched as two heads appeared from the chaos that had been Methos� chair. Slowly they emerged peering at their stunned audience with some confusion.

Vidalia was wearing Methos� ball cap at a jaunty angle and Methos arose with a strange expression on his face. Vidalia reached behind him and applied a resounding whack to his back, his mouth open and he spit out a blue plastic ant.

Vidalia spoke first, �Hi guys, did we get loud? I was teaching Methos� how to play ants in the pants.� She announced with a dignity only the very drunk have.

Utter pandemonium broke out over the doorway crew. Shrieks of laughter, screeches and howls filled the compound that night. After everyone had gotten himself or herself under control (which took a considerable while) to their surprise, the two culprits had fallen asleep curled together like puppies in a basket.

Duncan walked over to the sleeping forms and gently covered them with the afghan. Connor joined Duncan and stared down at the sleeping Methos who had an amazingly satisfied smile curled about his sleeping lips. On an impulse the younger Highlander turned to Connor and asked, �Think she�ll teach me this game?�

�Only after she�s taught me, brother, only after she�s taught me.�

Clasping his kinsmen�s arm the two Highlanders made their way back to Richie and the waiting ladies quietly closing the door behind them.

Vidalia opened her eyes and looked into a very serious pair of Methos� eyes. �Think they bought it?� She asked innocently.

�No,� he grinned wickedly.

�No?� she inquired eyebrows rising.

�No, I�m absolutely sure they did.� With that he pulled Vidalia more firmly against him and proceeded to show her his version of the game of ants in the pants.

~The End~
Vidalia
Mar 10 2003

Back to The Playroom

Back to the Library

Home