I LOVE this!

Archivist note: Inserted here was a little angel gif who's halo kept sliding off ... and at the last minute, some *horns* sprouted to hold the halo on!

DeniseCDC from Kansas City

Bwahahaha!!! You're going to have to invest in some horns. It'll help keep your halo from sliding off.

MacNairCDC

I thought lahoffy already had horns?

Oops, my bad. :P

(More horns and she's going to look like Mrs. Darth Maul!)

Oops again. :D

(I'd better get my running shoes on...)

DeniseCDC from Kansas City

Lahoffy already has horns? I didn't know. I thought there were other reasons her halo was always getting bent.

Could you slow down MacNair? I haven't run since the early 80's.

MacNairCDC

*huff* *puff* *huff* *puff*

"I don't, gasp, think she's noticed, gasp, that we're running, gasp, away, Denise!"

"Good." Gasp, cough. "Can we rest a while?"

"I think, gasp, so."

Wheeze, gasp, gurgle, pant, huff, puff, wheeze...

"I'm gonna have to watch it when I'm be-deviling lahoffy."

"Why's that, MacNair?"

"Must be-devil when I'm at the TOP of a hill, next time."

Gasp, cough, pant, puff...

"I'll remind you of that."

"Good, because I didn't write a note for myself."

Wheeze, puff, huff, gasp...

Denise and MacNair: "We don't run to stay fit--we run to stay ALIVE!"

lahoffyCDC

*staring after the two retreating clansibs*

"You see that?" lahoffy remarked to no one in particular as she stood at the doorway. "They actually think I'm gonna run after them."

Methos glanced over her shoulder as he passed by. "Haven't they figured out yet that if chocolate's not involved, you don't move faster than a snail on valium?"

MacNairCDC

"Well, Denise, I guess she's not going to chase us down over the comment that she's ... er ... um ..."

"What? What? Just spit it out, girl?"

"Well ... uh-h ... she's got horns, but she's also got a halo and that makes her ... uh ... oh, fiddlesticks! I can't say it!"

The two clan sisters ponder quietly on what that makes lahoffy and both start giggling and have to sit down on the grass to wipe their eyes.

"So, can she switch back and forth between these two personas quickly?" asked Denise, doing her very *bestest* innocent look. (Which fools darn near nobody around the CDC anymore, but they humor her.)

"I don't know. Duncan goes for the "angel" quite a bit, but Connor goes for the hooo---, er ... the horr---" stuttered MacNair. "Dang! I still can't say it!"

"So, when she's angelic, Duncan chases her and when she's ... uh ... er," tripped Denise, "The other, then Connor chases after her?"

"That's about it. Connor's young and wild, he likes the naughty ones. I think Duncan likes the naughty ones too ... he just pretends he doesn't." MacNair peered down the hill to where lahoffy watched out the window with Methos. "Makes you wonder if she switches back and forth quickly, would both Scots be chasing her?"

"Hey, they do that anyway sometimes," Denise observed. "So, we've run all this way up the hill, but she won't chase after us, pooh!"

"I don't know about that." MacNair searched around in her pocket and came up with a small gold box. "Would you like a Godiva Chocolate?"

"Oh, nummy!"

From down at the kitchen, lahoffy's halo hummmmmmed very faintly and the wearer looked up the hill to spot a flash of gold. "Hey?!"

lahoffyCDC

"Since when did my halo become a chocolate radar? Bad enough that the dang thing's a lie detector, now it detects chocolate?" lahoffy muttered, once again to no one in particular.

Richie, walking by on his way to the kitchen for a snack (again) glanced around to see who it was lahoffy was talking to. The answer was no one; the room was empty. "Talking to yourself again? You know what they say about people who talk to themselves."

"Hey! Long as I don't answer back, I'm still sane!"

The halo continued its faint hum while lahoffy waffled about whether she reeeealllly wanted to jog up the hill in search of chocolate and revenge upon her clansibs.

"Oh, FRELL!!" she muttered as the chocolate urge won out and she started at a sloooooow jog out the door and up the hill.

MacNairCDC

"See? Here she comes,� announced MacNair.

"Chocolate seems to be bait for most of the CDCers ... besides just those two Highlanders, I mean," laughed Denise. "Are we gonna keep running or let her catch up?"

"She's going slow, so we have time to eat another chocolate before we have to make that decision..."

And the two imps on the hill did just that.

...MEANWHILE, back in the house....

"Hey? How come all the sheep are spooked out there, Connor?" Duncan was staring out the window of the second floor, frozen in the act of combing out his hair. "They're bunched up and scampering for the woods?"

"NOT the woods! There's Orcs in the woods!" protested Connor. He was by Duncan's side in an instant, staring out across the field. Lahoffy was trudging up the hill and her halo glinted in the sun. "They've seen that halo before..."

"Look there!" Duncan stabbed a finger at the figures on the top of the hill--one blob from this angle and distance. Both immortal witnessed the flash of gold ... and both inhaled a great lungfull of air at the same time.

"SWORD!"

"LAHOFFY!"

::rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble::

Down the staircase the two Scots came, tripping over the hall rug that the girls adored (and they both swore at), tipping over a potted plant, and they hurtled around the corner and out the door....

lahoffyCDC

"Wow! Would you look at that?" Denise exclaimed. "You weren't kidding about that whole halo/hor..er..you-know-what thing, were you MacNair?"

MacNair looked in the direction Denise was pointing and stared wide-eyed. From this distance, anyone else would have been hard pressed to make any kind of identification of what exactly (or WHO exactly) was rushing from the house at breakneck speed.

But...this was MacNair. And she knew those two figures inside and out.

"What the heck is wrong with Duncan and Connor? Is there a fire in the house? I thought hayden left those super-soakers locked in a trunk?"

"They keep going at that pace, they'll be caught up to her in no time."

The two clansibs watched the unfolding scene with gleeful interest, munching more chocolate. (Greedy beggers.)

MEANWHILE--back in the house...

Methos chuckled softly as he watched the two Scots bear down upon the unsuspecting lahoffy. Popping the top on another beer, he kicked back, waiting for the fireworks. "The old place needed a bit of livening up, been too quiet round here lately."

MEANWHILE--(yet again)----

Lahoffy trudged patiently up the hill. Sooner or later, she'd catch up to those two conniving sibs and teach them a thing or two about sharing chocolate. Especially GODIVA chocolate. A faint rumble came to her ears. What the..? Are them dang dust buffalo stampeding again? She started to turn when it happened.

KER-WHUUUUUMMMMPPPP!!!!

The two Scots had caught up to her.

Connor had tackled her, sending her face down into the soft, grassy hillside. "I've got her, Duncan! You go see who that is with a sword!"

Duncan sped by in a whirl of mussed hair, bare feet and his sword flashing.

"Connor MacLeod!" came a muffled voice that sounded suspiciously as if it was eating grass,"There better be a DAMN good explanation for this!!"

MEANWHILE--back at the house yet again---

Methos was convulsed in laughter. "I knew leaving that little pic around would stir things up."

MacNairCDC

"Uh oh," said MacNair.

"Uh oh?" said Denise.

They both looked down the incline to see Duncan, ponytail dancing as he ran, coming up the hill. The sword flashed in the sunlight.

"What the heck? It's just US!" yelped Denise, scrambling to her feet.

MacNair stuffed the half-empty Godiva chocolate tin in her pocket and got on her feet too. From the corner of her eye, she spotted the last of the flock of sheep scurrying into the forest depths. "Uh oh, the woolies are on the run!"

Duncan spotted the two girls on the hill and yelled the alarm. "Get DOWN!"

"I just got up," protested Denise, but she sat back down and pulled MacNair down with her. "Something's afoot, that's for sure!"

"Where is he?" demanded the immortal as he reached the crest. He looked left, right, then back down the slope, then stared at the barn ... then the treehouse. "Which way did he go?"

"What are you talking about, Duncan?" asked MacNair. She huddled close to Denise. It wasn't wise to make any quick moves when one of the immortals had his katana out and had murder on his mind! "There's nobody up here but us!"

"I saw his sword, now where did he go?"

"WHAT sword?" said Denise. "We don't have any swords ... unless you count those funky letter-openers back at the house that look like yours and Connor's katanas--and we certainly don't have THOSE out here on the hill!"

Duncan stopped craning his neck and looked down at the two, obviously concerned, girls. Down the slope, he could hear the muffled exchange going on between lahoffy and Connor--it sounded irritated. There was an ominous sound from the forest, but that was just an Orc ... easily dealt with. "There's no immortal up here?"

Denise looked at MacNair and MacNair looked back. "Nope. Just us."

"I saw it from the window, the flash of gold--it startled the flock."

"Uh oh," said Denise.

"Uh oh," echoed MacNair. Reluctantly, she produced the golden tin of Godivas for inspection.

...MEANWHILE, down the slope....

"They have *chocolate* you idiot, Scot! I'm after the chocolate!"

"We saw the flash of the sword from the second floor and it wasn't from you throwing that halo!"

"If some immortal was after our chocolate, he'd be dodging more than just my thrown halo, mister!" lahoffy stomped her feet some more and one stomp was on Connor's foot, but he still didn't release her arm ... he just hopped a bit and glared at her. "Just look up yonder, you paranoid galoot!"

Duncan, on the hill, was waving his arms about and yelling. From the distance all that came through was 'loon', 'immortal', 'panic' ... and 'CHOCOLATE?'

"Oh, brother!" grumbled Connor.

"Oh, BROTHER!" grumbled lahoffy. "They've had enough time to eat it all."

The two of them trudged to the top of the hill, where the two abashed clansibs wordlessly handed lahoffy the tin of Godivas with three pieces left. lahoffy accepted it without saying a thing and crunched into the first one without even taking her eyes off them.

Duncan and Connor, still charged with fighting adrenaline, stood nearby. The fire in their blood practically emanated off of them in waves.

"Well, that was a riot for nothing. I came up here ready to KILL something."

"And I waited down the hill irritated that *you* got to kill something and you made me stay down the hill!" returned Connor.

"There's the Orcs," suggested MacNair.

"Orcs?" said Duncan. He looked at Connor.

"Orcs!" Connor's eyes lit up eagerly.

"Kill the Orcs!" shouted Duncan and the two Highlanders bolted for the trees. The vanished with a crash into the woods, leaving the trio on the hill, watching silently.

....MEANWHILE, back at the house....

"I hate Orcs," said Methos, crunching into an apple. "They'd better get them *all* this time or I'll have to figure out another way to get them in those woods after them!"

~finis~
Jan 9, 2003

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