Gloom rained over the compound and it had never done that before since the girls controlled the keyboards.

"What's wrong with the ladies? They seem to be on the down side," worriedly inquired the younger Highlander.

"Hormones probably," old �lanky butt� mumbled into his newspaper.

"Can't have that. They're devilish without hormones and gloom," declared Connor

"And what are we supposed to do about their moods?� groaned the old man as he put down the paper.

"Dip into the old immortal wallet; that usually does the trick," Connor decreed.

"It sure works for Amanda," a grinning Duncan smirked

"Oh, no, not my wallet you don't! Poor Grad Student REMEMBER! Can't we just do the naked Can-can?!?!?!"

Connor smirked, "Yah, right. You've been putting stuff away for 5000 years. Get off your cheap lanky butt."

"What do you have in mind, kinsman?"

"Road trip!"

MacNairCDC

Duncan drove, to everyone's relief. Connor behind the wheel was like going to an amusement park without the amusement-part. Methos decided he'd sit cross-legged in the back to finish his latest historical book, but found three CDCers hanging over the back seat to finish it with him.

MacNair sat between lynnann and Sharz in the big van and every bench seat was filled with CDCers. Richie and Connor dispensed foot rubs to clanmembers as they rode, choosing to ride unseatbelted and crawling across feet, laps, and anything else they needed to in order to get at everyone's feet. (They detoured for kisses quite a bit, the girls noted. Duncan would swerve just to hear everyone scream and clutch. Some of the clutches were ... interesting.)

"Where are we going with this wagon of girls?" shouted Methos from the back. He righted himself after the last swerve with a glare at Duncan that should have tinted the windows.

"To the MALL!" he replied ... and tripped the automatic lockout for children that kept all the doors locked.

"AIE-E-E! Let me OUT!" was heard from the very back of the van.

Connor looked up from Hayden's feet. "The drivers behind us are not appreciative of that man stuck on the back window like that!"

Various comments overheard in the van:

"No, you can not borrow my lipstick to write a distress message on the window."

"No, you can not have my shoelace to pretend you're a kidnap victim."

�No, you can not have a bobby pin to pick the back door open.�

"Will you quit making those terrible faces against the glass? You're making ME ill, even from the back!"

"Standing on your head will not prevail."

"I do NOT expect to see your lanky butt in my rear view mirror again, Methos! I'm trying to DRIVE up here!"

lahoffyCDC

The van doors opened spilling immortals and clansibs out in a steady stream. Passersby stopped and stared at the swarming mass of humanity that issued forth.

"Where to first?" asked Duncan once everyone had exited the vehicle.

"Bookstore," Methos volunteered.

"Sorry old man. This is the ladies' day out. It�s their decision," informed Connor as he leveled a stare at the ancient one.

MacNair snickered. "Connor, isn't that Duncan's usual mistake? Calling us ladies?"

Connor smiled, pleased to see a bit of humor returning to the little blond. She was the one he'd been most worried about. Gloom and doom was not her usual manner and it bothered him greatly seeing her down.

Making their way into the mall, the mob argued good-naturedly about where to go first.

"Music's always good. How about Sam Goody's?"

"I don't feel like having my ears bleed this early in the day."

"How about the food court? I'm starved."

"Richie! You ate before we left!"

"Spencer's?"

"You just want to check out those strange adult toys they carry, you randy Scot!"

"Godiva Chocolates?"

"RICHIE!!"

"Victoria's Secret?"

"CONNOR!!"

"Say...anyone seen Methos?"

haydenCDC

"Oh, there he is!� exclaimed Lynnann, "He seems to be stuck against the rear window. Shades of gack!"

"Hmmm, how did he get stuck like that?" asked the small blond has she circled around the outside of the van trying to look at every angle.

"Maybe we should get another van?� reasoned the elder Scot. �The clan is growing and we may need more room."

"No!� squealed the females! �We like it all cuddly and close!"

Connor chuckled at the ladies, "Your wishes are my command,� as he swept into an Old World bow."

MacNair swooned slightly at the sight. The quick thinking elder Scot dipped in and swooped her up in his arms.

"My lady?!?!? What is your wish?"

"Ahhhh, Ahhhhhhh--Victoria Secrets! I seem to have unmentionables to replace after the wash incident!"

The girls all gathered around the immortals and proceeded toward the mall. Hadyen stopped short. "Hey, what about old �Lanky butt?�"

"Rich, peel him off of there and let's get going. The ladies wish to SHOP!!!!!!!"

pacemCDC

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~I had to go to Victoria's Secret On line for research materials--is that cheating????????~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Richie peeled Methos from the van window and everyone went into the mall.

Duncan knew the most direct route to Victoria�s Secret, but it involved one of those open windowed elevators.

Richie �ohhed� and �ahhed� over the view, �Look I can see the fountain! Don�t those people look like ants down there! I wanna get those soft pretzels too!�

Lynnann, sensitive to heights, hid her head against Duncan�s chest (lucky girl). And Connor still kept a close watch on MacNair.

As the clan spilled out of the elevator, Victoria�s Secret was right there. The giggles and chuckles could be heard around the store.

Richie needed CDCers and friends on each side of him to keep him from exploding.

Duncan was very business-like and suave inspecting the merchandise, until hayden, lynnann, and sheeza starting taunting him with cherry v-strings, mesh thongs, and the leopard print bras. Then he got in the spirit of the outing and held up matching lace teddies to lahoffy and Sharz and flashed a grin that rivaled all the sparkles of a starry night.

Connor, meanwhile, was softly talking MacNair into the midnight blue flyaway baby doll.

Methos, quiet and withdrawn, was off by himself until�

�lahoffy spotted him ogling a mannequin adored in pushup bra and thongs over in one corner. "Hey, that thong looks like it'd fit your lanky ol' butt!" she announced loud enough for the whole store to hear.

"AR-R-RGH!" he yelled, hands open as if to throttle her.

lynnannCDC

"Three minutes, ladies and gents!" Connor announced firmly. "Grab those glad rags and plunk them on the counter. I'm paying."

"That's only fair, you suggested the store," one CDCer stated, and others nodded in agreement.

The pile of silk and lace grew until Connor called, "Time!" A fuchsia negligee flew over his head and slithered from the top of the pile to the floor. Connor picked it up, and glanced at the one who tossed it. "Richie, this is hardly your color."

His blush matched the garment Connor was placing on top of the pile. "It's for the closet spook. She wanted something that color."

"All right, for k'lynn. Now, everyone out of the store. No one sees the grand total until we get back to the Compound."

Duncan began herding the Clan and immortals out into the mall, wondering how much the trip to the Godiva store was going to cost him. Richie may have suggested it, but the boy still had a long way to go to building his bank account. On the way out every single one of the so-called ladies spotted something else they wanted, but Connor stood firm. "You snooze, you loose. Out!"

The girls watched from the outside as Connor nodded at the total and handed the gushing sales clerk his card. He waved the crowd back in to collect the bags.

"Where to next?"

lahoffyCDC

Seeing that Sam Goody's was just across the way from the Victoria's Secret store, it was decided *that* should be the next destination.

Duncan stood outside the store, steeling himself for the ordeal waiting inside. The music was cranked loud enough he could feel the vibrations through the soles of his boots. Already, he could feel his ears wincing.

"Buck up, MacLeod," Methos said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "At least they're not playing Eminem."

"Who?"

Shaking his head, Methos ambled into the store following in the enthusiastic wake of clansibs.

Lahoffy and MacNair were discussing the relative merits of the latest Def Leppard CD, sheeza was thumbing through the Queen CD's, just in case there was one she was missing, Sharz and lynnann were lingering in the Celtic section while pacem and hayden were combing through the DVD's.

"Hey Duncan! Come listen to this!" shouted lahoffy from across the store, while MacNair waved frantically to get his attention.

Knowing he was going to regret it, yet knowing this was all for the cause of cheering the girls, Duncan threaded his way through the bins to the listening area.

"How bad are my ears going to ring after this?"

Lahoffy snorted and settled the earphones over his head. To his surprise, the music was actually quite pleasant. Not too ear-splitting after all. Catching the beat, his hips unconsciously swayed back and forth to the music.

It wasn't until the song ended and he pulled the earphones off that he noticed what had happened.

Clansibs stood (or lay) in various stages of swoon-dom all over the store. Glazed eyes met his everywhere he looked. He blushed self-consciously as he caught the twinkling eyes of his kinsman.

"That's a definite must-have," croaked out sheeza from where she was draped across a bin.

Methos and Richie rounded up the clansibs and herded them toward the register where Methos surprised everyone by actually handing over a credit card to pay for everything!

For the second time in the space of five minutes, the clansibs swooned again.

This time, the swoon included Connor and Duncan.

haydenCDC

For some reason, as the girls left Sam Goody's, they insisted that Duncan walk in front of them. Their eyes glimmered and shown, as the clansibs followed the hunky Highlander. In fact you could say they were mesmerized.

"Come on, brother, let's go to Sear's. I hear there's a new cordless drill on the market."

A still-blushing younger Scot glanced over his shoulder to peer nervously at his followers. "I thought the idea was to make the girls happy?"

"They look happy to me."

"But they won't be in the tool section of Sears."

"True, but they won't realize where they are for at least 10 minutes. And if it takes longer you can bend down and get the drill for me off the bottom shelf. That should be good for another 5 minutes anyway."

"I feel so used." Duncan sighed

lahoffyCDC

lynnann blinked, eyes focusing as if she were coming up out of a deep sleep. "Saayyy...why are we in the tools? We don't like tools."

MacNair peered around blearily. "I think Connor's doing his Bob Vila impersonation again."

"Duncan! Quick! Hand me that drill, would you?"

Sighing heavily, Duncan obligingly bent over taking his time in selecting the object in question.

Blissful sighs erupted behind him, the surroundings quickly lost on the girls again as they watched the younger Highlander bend and stretch.

MacNairCDC

It took two more lazy bends to retrieve various tools on the floor to successfully score the new cordless drill, pay for it, and get everyone out of the store before they realized they had been detoured through �Man Country.� lynnann stopped and blinked once they hit the glossy tiles of the Mall and said, �I think we�ve been had, girls.�

�Had? I haven�t been �had?� Have you been �had,� Methos?� complained Connor.

�I haven�t been �had� either and I�m pretty sure Duncan hasn�t been �had��his hair is too neat. His hair never stays neat when he�s been �had!�� protested Methos.

�And I�d CERTAINLY know if I was being �had� because I�d want to be �had� several times in a row!� announced Richie.

�So who do you think �had� you if it wasn�t one of US having you?� summarized Duncan.

�Oh, my head!� complained MacNair.

�No, no, mustn�t start any headache. Let�s just walk down the Mall and see what we see.�

Nordstroms, Hallmarks, Claires, Foot Locker, Bresslers, Disney Store, Pets Plus, Old Navy, Gymboree, Cash, KB Toys, Spacesaver Specialists, Portraits Plus, A Cut Above, MacDonalds, Lenscrafters, Closets 2 Go, Main Street Home Brew Supply, RiteTech, The Nail Club, Edie Baur, Cocoa Bon, Taco Bell, Staples and a State Farm office went by them.

They only had problems with Richie at the pet store and Methos at the home brew store � both had to be dragged away by the Scots. They rounded a blind corner and THERE IT WAS! The oasis amidst the turbulent tides of shoppers laded with bags�Borders Bookstore!

Duncan had time for one curt, �Watch out!� before eight CDCers and one immortal rushed the inviting door of the bookstore and VANISHED in all directions inside! Richie, Duncan and Connor stood where they were, slack-jawed at the abrupt departure.

�Damn,� said Richie. �We�ll play hell finding all of them in there!�

Duncan looked at Connor: Connor looked back.

�Cell phones?�

�Check.�

�Uh-h, yeah, check,� agreed Rich, flipping out his Nextel phone.

�And I�ve got Methos� phone, so Richie, you call Methos and Connor, you call me and we�ll all be in touch.�

�Duncan, you�re going to get some strange looks talking into two cell phones at the same time in there.�

�I'll just smile and nod. I can get away with anything.�

�Do tell,� chuckled Connor, amused. �Okay. Into the fray!�

It was like finding needles in haystacks except the needles kept moving! Sharz was in history, then wandered to Geography. Lynnann was first in the art section, then crafts, skipped through cooking and headed for the Romance section. Lahoffy was in Scifi with MacNair, hayden and sheeza � but then they split and went to geography, history and cooking�not in any semblance of order. Pacem NEVER stopped moving and they tracked her all over the building, but never caught up with her once!

�Where�s Adam 12?� whispered Duncan to both phones.

�What the--?� protested Rich. (He was too young for Adam 12 in the first place.)

�I haven�t looked for the ROG. He�ll be in the ancient history tomes kept in the back room or on the very bottom shelf. Look for him sitting cross-legged on the floor,� announced Connor�s sibilant accent through the tinny phone.

�Who�ve you got, Rich?�

�I�ve got lahoffy and hayden in my sights. They�re ogling the calendars of the hunks for 2003�whoa, wait! There goes hayden! She�s headed for � aw, shoot � �scuse me, Mister � pardon me, ma�am � she�s � drat that girl!� Rich kept up a running patter of his chase through the bookstore. �Oh, quick, Sharz is in the headline news section, scanning. Hayden just ducked into � into � damn. I think I lost her.�

�Connor?� asked Duncan.

�If there was a section on �Mayhem,� she�d be in it.�

Duncan thought a moment. �Richie, look for the entertainment section.�

�I just spotted MacNair. Lahoffy snagged her at the calendars and now they�re both drooling over hunks. Sheeza just coasted by. Looks like she�s headed back to the Scifi section via History and Romance. Oops, she�s stalled at the Harry Potter table.� Connor barked off directions like a sports commentator at a fast paced game.

�I found hayden. She�s found some trampoline book and is parked in a chair, reading,� said Rich.

�Good. Leave her there and zero in on lynnann.� Duncan felt like he was coaching a football game and couldn�t even SEE the players on the field!

�I have lynnann,� drawled Connor. There was a giggle through the phone that did not sound very �Connorish.� �Fuchsia,� he whispered sidelong, though Duncan could clearly hear the exchange. �She�s into fuchsia, remember?� The elder Highlander cleared his throat. �She�s picked out some kids craft books for k�lynn and her feet hurt, so she�s done.�

�Good. Hook her to your belt and bring her to the corner of Geography and Martial Arts.�

�Roger.�

�Richie?�

�Yessir?�

�Who�ve you got?�

�Um-m, nobody, but I think Sharz is right � around � this � corner�a-HA! She�s buried in Historical Romance and is swapping great titles and authors with some other gal perusing that section.�

�Don�t let her escape.�

�Okay.� A pause. �Wow, Mac � did you ever do some modeling? Some of these guys look almost exactly like you on these covers! Long hair, bulging muscles, girls swooning around your kilt-clad thighs��

�RICHIE!� barked Duncan into the phone. He had to smile blindingly at the man and woman who passed near and eyed him with suspicion. �Keep it down, will you? If they think I�m a model for Romance novels, we�ll never get out of here!�

�Uh-h, right. I have Sharz, finally. You don�t want to see what she picked out.�

�Connor?�

�Yes Duncan?�

�I see you passed lynnann to me, but where are YOU now?�

�I�m guarding the sheep.�

�You�re�� Duncan halted his words. Guarding the sheep. Standing watch in the rugged terrain of Scotland with nothing but a knife and a sword and your wits to keep the flock safe against marauders. The mist bounced the sound and the darkness made the footing precarious. He learned to pace three steps, turn in place and pace back to stay warm and yet not plummet over the edge of the knoll. He shook his head away from the memory that had come from nowhere and everywhere. �They must be in one place.�

�lahoffy has them ALL drooling over the hunks in the calendars. They�ve almost reached glassy-eyed level and then they�ll be easy to herd out the door without any stragglers or straying from the bunch.�

They were all safely back in the Mall, lugging a rented cart with purchased books, when Duncan softly said, �I was back in the Highlands guarding the flock for a minute there, Connor.�

�Aye, so was I, laddie. I didna� have tae pace tae stay warm, though.�

�Methos?�

�Methos!�

�Hmmmm. Let�s get some lunch and then come back here. He won�t notice our buzz when we leave, but he�ll feel it when we come back,� suggested Duncan.

�Three immortals at once ought to make his teeth rattle out!�

lynnannCDC

The food court, located next to the Cineplex, was heaven as far as some of the mob was concerned. Richie and one of the CDC went for the chili dogs, Duncan and two of the girls choose Italian, Connor and the rest of the excursion party opted for Japanese.

Tables pulled together, they discussed the next store to receive their undivided attention. There was some argument whether it should be the Godiva store, or the Bed and Bath, or the one on the corner with all the "pretty" baubles.

"Baubles are nice," three girls chimed together, the others nodding in agreement.

"Baubles are for special occasions," one MacLeod reasoned, "and as special as this is, I'd rather not let the lot of you loose in a jewelry store. You'd break the bank!"

"Only a teeny tiny dent," pacem promised.

"Hardly a scratch," MacNair agreed.

"No way in hell," Connor said, and his kinsman nodded.

"What ever it is, count me out," lynnann said. "My feet ache. You all can pick me up here when you leave."

"These new shoes are pinching a bit," Sharz admitted. "Why don't we go to a movie and let them go shop."

"Great idea," Richie said. "I want to see that xXx movie."

"Oh yeah!" lahoffy squealed. "Since Lord of the Rings isn't playing, that will do."

There was further discussion about which movie to see, until Duncan pointed out the three movies they wanted to see all started about the same time. Each immortal paid for the women he was escorting, thankful their "dates" didn't insist on popcorn and drinks. Refreshment stand prices were a killer!

Half way through the movie, Richie excused himself from between lahoffy and Sheeza and wandered out into the mall, his ticket firmly in hand so he could get back in to the theater. The young immortal grinned and headed for the "bauble" shop across the way, and quickly chose charms for the group, and for those not there. Delicate chains of gold or silver completed the purchase and he snuck back in to the theater, stopping to buy a large tub of popcorn and sodas. "Highway robbery," he muttered, finding his way through the dark.

Richie had no sooner ducked back into the theater when Connor appeared. He, too, headed for the jewelry store, made a purchase that he thought would please a certain bevy of young ladies, and returned to the lobby, where he ran into Duncan. "That soda can go right through you," he said, and Duncan agreed, heading for the men�s room. Duncan waited only a few moments, and then trotted off across the way.

The sales clerk, still a little giddy from the multiple sales, nearly swooned when the tall, dark and handsome fellow asked to see some items in a display case. The items being purchased certainly weren't the most expensive in the store, but the volume would make a nice commission for the day, even if she didn't sell another thing. And then he smiled when he thanked her. Her day was complete.

The three immortals had been a little restless as they felt each other come and go, but they managed to hide this from the Clan. When they gathered in the food court, still no sign of the old one, Duncan smiled broadly. "For a special occasion, something special." He presented each of them with birthstone earrings, and received multiple expressions of gratitude that included squeals, hugs and kisses. And a couple of loving pats on his backside. There would be more hugs and kisses when they got home to the rest of the clan, he thought with a smile.

"It looks like we had similar thoughts," Connor said, and he carefully placed around each wrist, a simple but elegant tennis bracelet. Not the most expensive to be had, but the girls didn't care. More kisses and hugs and squeals and pats.

Richie was silent, except for dutifully admiring the presents. Hayden noticed something amiss, and asked him point blank, "What's wrong, Richie?"

He tried to avoid answering the question, but the others turned their attention to him, and persisted. "It seemed like a good idea at the time," he mumbled and passed out the small packages he had for each of them.

lynnann, never one to be shy about ripping into a package, got hers opened first. "Oh my heck! It's Puff!" On the end of the delicate silver chain hung a small silver dragon. "It is absolutely the most perfect thing!" She kissed him and hugged him fiercely, and Richie thought he saw a tear in her eye when she let him go. "Perfect, Richiebabe, I mean it."

By this time, the others had opened theirs and each found their floaty in miniature, dangling from graceful chains of silver or gold. "She's right," the elder Highlander agreed, "those are perfect. Good choice, Ryan."

Richie smiled, and was swarmed by the women. His day was complete. He particularly enjoyed the pats.

There was no sign of Methos in the bookstore, and they wondered where in the world he could have gone. "He walked out about 10 minutes ago," one clerk said, remembering the lazy sprawl.

Aug 26 2002 (This story was never completed. I suspect we decided we�d all just LIVE in the mall.)

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