:: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

�I can�t believe you would DO such a thing, Connor!� exclaimed Duncan. �I told you Methos was an old stick-in-the-mud when it came to the parties, but I never expected you to � to � well, to go and � and�.�

�Interfere?� interjected Richie, supplying a likely word.

�Yes!� crowed Duncan.

�Eh? Well, the old scowl needed to lighten up around here anyway.� Connor was propped back in his chair with one foot on the table, nursing a shot glass. �He was down at the barn trying to tell me how to properly shoe the mare yesterday! Can you believe that? I almost hit him with the cudgel.� The Scot shifted in his seat, remembering. �Mr. �Know-it-all, been-there and done-that� needs a comeuppance.�

�But,� Duncan asked, �how did you do it? He�s been drinking beer as far as I can tell.�

Connor�s tennis shoe slid off the table and he leaned over conspiratorially. �And I�ve been handing him the brews. The first one only had a swig of Everclear in it. Every one of them that I handed to him, I added more hooch to it. By the time he had the fourth beer, it was mostly spirits and he was already too far gone to notice.�

Three heads swiveled to look at Methos. Then two of them swiveled back.

�You are a mean thing.� This declaration came from Duncan.

�I think it�s funny as hell!� whispered Rich.

�Never tell a Scot what to do when it was his trade for over a hundred years!� harrumphed Connor dourly.

�Sa-a-y, Maclo-ou-d,� slurred Methos from his precarious perch on the top of the beer dispenser. He was patting around on his shirt absently. �Did you unsnap (hic) my bra when I was-sna looking?�

:: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

:: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them

:: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

�So, what possessed you to pick this song?�

�Because it�s out of his range.�

�And you thought you could inflict this upon us without some recompense for the trauma?�

�I suppose I�ll get paid back sometime and I bet it�ll have something to do with my shoes.�

Methos was on top of the bar now, shirt half-tucked, singing bawdily and dancing about while still remaining seated. His headphones were on and turned up high enough that they could hear the tinny music even from a distance.

�Now Madonna can give that song justice,� solemnly stated Richie, �but I don�t think I�ll ever get this image out of my mind again.� He swiveled to glare at Connor. �You�ve ruined �Like a Virgin� forever!�

�Oh, that�s nothing. Yell �I LOVE YOU� at him,� the elder Highlander chuckled.

Richie couldn�t resist the intrigue and complied with the suggestion. Methos swiveled on top of the bar, waving his arms wildly to keep his balance and searched around for them.

�Doesn�t he remind you of a chicken?� announced Duncan.

�I LOVE YOU TOO, RICHIE!� the ROG shouted back.

:: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in your getting your ass kicked.

:: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

:: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

�D�ya wanna piece of me? D�YA? C�mon! Put �em up!� slurred Methos. He was upright, but weaving, and kept a hand on the nearest chair to keep from falling down.

The antagonist in question was fifteen feet away, sitting down, and laughing hysterically. Every time Duncan looked back up, he was struck by another fit of laughter. The fact that Methos kept right on blustering from that great distance did not help the gravity of the moment.

�Hol� still, you damn Scotti. I know you�re afeared � me being a horse and all.�

Connor had given up pretenses of control and was sitting at the foot of his chair and out of sight. Better to just slide out of the chair than to fall out laughing so hard! Richie was on the floor as well, hanging onto a table leg and roaring. Above them, Duncan continued to be the target of Methos� drunken threats.

�Just tell him you love him and he�ll get derailed, kinsman!� suggested Connor.

�Oh, God!� returned Duncan, guffawing harder.

�Thass� right! PRAY, Highlander! I�m comin� to GET you!�

Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, THUMP! �Owies!� plaintively added a voice. �Who moved the ground?�

Epilogue

�He�s going to kill you in the morning, Connor.�

�He won�t be UP in the morning,� returned the elder immortal smugly.

�Well, call it a �late� morning � but he�s going to be looking for you.�

�That�s okay. I�m heading out on vacation anyway. He�ll have to track me if he wants me that bad.� Connor grinned at his kinsman. �And I�m taking k�lynn. She�ll hide our trail quite nicely. They�ll have to get the glitter out of their airport computers, but we�ll be gone by then.�

�Scardy-cat, Connor?� chided Duncan. His eyes twinkled.

�Well, he DID say he was a horse!� They both laughed.

�Reddi, Connie?� came a spritely voice. k�lynn appeared and wrapped both hands around the immortal�s forearm.

�It�s the middle of the night, honey-bun. We�re supposed to leave in the morning, remember? You don�t want to just sit at the airport all night.�

�Never seen airport. Lots of ports and air? Stairs that move by themselfs? Wanna go now!�

�Well, I guess we�ll leave now.� Connor eyed Duncan a moment. �Have fun with ol� rumble-bum in the morning.�

�He said he loved you too, you know,� cat-called the younger man.

�He also said he thought he was pregnant!�

~finis~

MacNairCDC

April 27, 2001

This was instigated by hayden, The Mayhem Maker!

lynnannCDC

I was wondering if someone would take that and run! Well done sweetie. I shall be having gigglefits for the next few days, and be looking for glittertrails at the airport.

Poor Methos.

Poor Duncan & Richie when he wakes up.

MacNairCDC

So, what color of glitter is k'lynn's favorite?

Inquiring minds....

lynnannCDC

Didn't she say glitter was her favorite color?

I don't think the actual hue is important, although she does like color-coordinating the holidays and season. Lots of Green and Red in December, Reds and Pinks for Valentines Day, but right now, she seems to be on a patriotic kick, Red, Blue and Silver (white just isn't glittery enough, she claims).

MacNairCDC

Teeheehee! Now this: "Didn't she say glitter was her favorite color?" makes sense!

In a k'lynn sort of way!

Connor has so much fun with her. You must ask her where they went on "vacation" and what they did. *g*

(Yeah, I'm evil. So what of it?)

lynnannCDC

I'm afraid to ask, but if the sombrero and brightly colored poncho is any indication...

I hope the cruise ship survived...

MacNairCDC

Oh, now, THAT really helped!

...Connor, in his swimming trunks, working on his temporary tan. k'lynn keeps stealing the little umbrellas out of his drinks and inventing ... um ... useful uses for them?

And some that are NOT so useful.

lynnannCDC

but think of those lovely buffets to keep his strength up *weg*

MacNairCDC

"Lookee, Conni," giggled k'lynn. "Um-bella's go up--down."

Connor fixed her with his patented stare, albeit a bit weary. "Oh, no. Not again!"

"Up. Down. Up. Down. Take away all your frowns," sing-songed the merry spectre with an impish look.

Connor muttered something about requesting little giraffes in his drink from now on. Or monkeys that hung by their tails. ANYTHING, but umbrellas that go up--down--up--down.

lynnannCDC

"Come on, sprite," Connor said removing the umbrellas from her fingers. He pulled her, up plucked a flower from the centerpiece on the buffet table as they passed, and replaced the umbrella in her hair with the fragrant bloom. He led the spectre to their plush stateroom below.

He had been angry at first, that someone, probably one of the Clan, had messed with his luggage, but the treat they had so thoughtfully included, might come in handy after all.

"Here, k'lynn, finger paints." Anything to break the singsong "up-down." He gave her the tube of flavored body paint and a piece of paper from the desk.

"finkr paynds!" she said with glee. After a moment of swirling the color on the paper, she swiftly stuck her finger in her mouth. "O!" she said in surprise. "donn tahsd lik mi pahnds 'tall."

MacNairCDC

Connor looked up from studying the next day's activities on the master schedule of the cruise ship. "You're not suppose to taste the fingerpaints, sweet bee. You're just supposed to paint with them. And just what do you put in your paints at home, anyway?"

"Dp-ens on the culr," she replied, putting a daub of blue on the tips of Connor's white sneakers. "Smurf shooz for Conni?"

lynnannCDC

Connor looked down at the toe of his brightly painted shoe.

"Thank god they're leather and not canvas," he muttered. "Very nice, k'lynn, but try to keep the paint on the paper, not the... NOT THE CARPET!" It was going to be tough explaining the body paint to the steward.

"Sowry, Conni," her lower lip trembled.

"This isn't your closet, you can't just paint anything you want.

MacNair�addendum

�Paint on Conni?� k�lynn suggested hopefully. �Flow�rs, sircles, dots?�

Connor chuckled, remembering painted Zulu warriors in the heat of Africa. Somehow, he didn�t think the rainbow of colors on his pale skin would look anything like his memories. �You can paint me, you little spook. Don�t forget to put some plaid on me while you�re at it��

�Plad lik orange?� she asked, puzzled. Her finger hovered over her colors, waiting.

�Uh, no��

�Red?�

�No, not��

�I know! Plad is yelow!�

�No, it�s more a blue and green, some black, a few lines of yellow and�.� Connor paused and looked at k�lynn�s confused expression. She had one finger in every color he mentioned, so she wouldn�t forget what he said. Somehow, the elder Scot just knew he was going to end up being a mousy brown all over if he didn�t quit! �Uh � well � actually, yellow and orange is just fine, sweet bean. Ju-u-ust fine.�

~SNAP~! went the camera flash in the full length mirror. Connor chuckled at his reflection, squinting. Every color of the rainbow was represented on his chest and legs, including a wild explosion of reds-yellows-oranges, complete with a stray green, with fingerprint lines squiggling through it. He even was sporting k�lynn�s brand of plaid on the top of one foot!

�That ought to curl Duncan�s hair!�

Finis!
April 27, 2002

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