Once upon a time, in a land Faraway, the Emperor walked among his peers free from the restrictions of clothing. He didn't explain why, in fact he deceived those around him by claiming he was actually wearing clothes, a super light, super subtle, super advanced material.

Most believed the Emperor, after all he was a member of the Old Boys Club. One day however while the Emperor was taking his weekly stroll amongst his subjects, Boy Halo looked upon the nude statesman and was shocked. Being a puritan (and a self-righteous one at that) he shouted for all to hear:

"The Emperor has no clothes!".

The response was immediate.

The Emperor said: "You don't understand, I am wearing clothes"

His fellow members of the Old Boys Club rallied in support.

Prince Target: "Everyone has something to hide. The Originals share each other's clothing, this is a crime much worse than nudity. Boy Halo, you're a puritan (and a self-righteous one at that)"

King Purity said: "The Emperor is wearing clothes, prove otherwise you sad little clan"

But by far the most brutal was King Fairy: "You make me sick with your puritanical views. Nobody minds a bit of nudity. You pour scorn upon those who wander free doing no harm to anyone, while you with your pathetic whining create unrest, which will destroy the land Faraway. Shut-up until your voice has broken, you infantile swine!"

Boy Halo was taken away to the gallows, and shocked at the outcry, awaited his doom. He felt self-doubt and deep remorse… maybe the Emperor was wearing clothes after all. Maybe there was nothing wrong with a bit of nudity. Maybe nobody cared about the views of a puritan (and a self-righteous one at that).

Someone had listened. The Creator called a meeting of his loyal subjects. He boomed "Nudity. Is it wrong? Should I do something about it?". The majority finally found it's voice, "Yes!", they cried, "it's an unholy activity, please stop it".

The Old Boys Club remained silent. They could crucify those below, but not he who resides above.

Boy Halo was released. He regained his confidence and with his voice broken he prepared to enter the streets of the land Faraway once more. He'd not stop standing up for his beliefs, after all, he was a puritan (and a self-righteous one at that).

And the Emperor? He put on some clothes.

26/01/2001