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speaking of freaking out, gene and i watched a couple of movies this weekend: last night and deterrance.

deterrance freaked me out as it most likely would freak out any of my generation who grew up under the shadow of a mushroom cloud. we keep waiting for some idiot to push the button and start world war three, and no matter how many treaties are signed and how many seemingly sane people are in charge of the button, we know sooner or later, someone will do the unthinkable.

i really don't know why i watch nuclear bomb movies. must be the masochist in me.

same with end of the world movies. gene and i will watch anything about the end of the world, whether it be apocolyptic, natural disaster, plague--doesn't matter. most of them are so ridiculous that they don't bother me a bit, but every once in a while, one hits a little too close to home. miracle mile did [that whole nuclear bomb thing, again], and now last night.

from the outset, i knew how the movie would end, and i had an hour and a half to get ready for it, and yet there i was 90 minutes later with tears streaming down my face. it was a small movie, quietly funny, and terribly sad.

i keep running different scenarios through my head. what would i do if i knew the world was going to end. who would i be with? what would i do while i could? what would i stop doing?

i'd stop writing this bloody thing, that's for sure.

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