Spoof fic to paradoy the Yaoi Wars! hehehe, I had the weirdest idea talking to Lyo. Situation: What is Gundam Wing fandom was divided on the issue of Yuri vs. Non-Yuri? Hehehe, ah well, I hope it's funny....
"Yuri vs. Non-Yuri: Hirde is with Relena, you slut!"
Part One
By Jenn Blackett
Disclaimer: Don't own nothin' 'cept this wacky idea.
Warnings: Flamer language, which equates to lack of spelling finesse and other variables, perhaps lack of humor? *pokes fic, snorts* All yuri all the time, baby!
(*): By the way, who hates it when they spell Duo's name like that? *LOL*
(2): Everyone know that game "Kill Relena" at the Duo Dance site? It's in my link list....
I read another flame in my guestbook today. Wanna know what it said? Well, as I poked through the atrocious spelling and grabbed my dictionary to decipher the heiroglyphics that flamers call the English language, I came up with this from my efforts:
Warning! Someone could get hurt trying to understand this:
"How dar u not think Relena and Hirde are 2gether!!!!!1111111 ARRRR U fooking slyt!!11111 AAAAAAA Dou(*) is not worthy of Hirde!!!!1111: And, BY THE WAY, It's Ririina, N0t RELENA 11111111111111111111"
Well, that was certainly.... enlightening.... *cough, cough*
As I winced at the fact that America keeps getting dumber and dumber with every flamer that decides the internet is their personal playground, I looked at my website one more time and sighed. Duo and Hirde.... I mean, yeah, it's a crazy idea. There is so much more evidence for Duo and Relena (You don't know how the Yuri fans bash anyone who dare to try and write that!). There are so many more symbols that show the fans that Relena and Hirde were meant to be, just as Noin and Lady Une are official--*hint, hint*--lovers, but.... I can not help but want to pair the poor braided Shinigami with a kick-ass chick. Could the yuri fans not spare Hirde from Relena's torturous love overtures for just a little bit while I mate the L2 chica with the L2 Gundam pilot?
Of course not! That would actually mean sharing, and we know that yuri fans do not like to share.
Excuse me, I'm being bitter here....
*A few Zen breathing moments later*
Okay, all better.
But really, I know all the Yuri arguements. How that whole scene on Libra cemented the attraction forever. How the pixie live-in roomie of Duo Maxwell went and met with the Princess of Peace formerly "belonging"--you'll get your head chopped off if you say that to a yuri fan--to Heero Yuy met on Libra, their eyes met after Dorothy Catalonia--known as the rapist of Relena Peacecraft in many yuri fanfics--left and that was the end. Relena and Hirde have been forever cemented as a couple in that one moment. It does not matter how sketchy any of their other moments are.... Or the fact that when Relena screams, "Heero!" she's just mispronouncing "Hirde!", but they are a cemented couple in yuridom.
And the non-yuri fans have been paying for it since the first Duo and Hirde, Duo and Relena, Heero and Relena, or Heero and Hirde fic came into being. I'm just thankful that I don't get as bad an amount of flames as the site that sponsers Noin and Zechs or Lady Une and Trieze fanfiction.... *shakes head* Ne, that is one place where I agree with the yuri fans. You can so sense the sexual tension between Noin and Lady Une when Lady Une slaps Noin and then Noin tells Lady Une to be more lady-like. *whip cracks* Kinky.
So, dear flamer, I hope you realize that I do get to write fanfiction as I deem it. Even if Duo and Hirde are brother/sister in Japanese terms of household conditions, and Relena is just following Heero to get to Hirde (The Yuri fans think Duo keeps Hirde away from the Princess of Peace on purpose, hence the outcropping of the Duo Hater Campaign, although it is still not as bad as the Kill Heero Game (2)*shudders*), I still believe that a relationship, however unlikely, between Duo and Hirde can exist.
I'm sorta glad I'm not a yaoi fan. Man, those rare people get killed for even thinking the thought....
~~OWARI