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The things we never did Sherri looked down the hall, down at the couple standing there, obviously in love. She felt her heart break apart, thinking about her own love, Kian, thinking about a poem she once wrote: I don�t know how to get to you I don�t know how to make you understand All I know is that I want you But I don�t know on what command She felt the tears rolling down. �How could I be so stupid..?� she whispered to herself. She had known Kian all her life, always loved him, as a friend at first, but then her feelings developed to something more� She tried to hint him, but it didn�t work. She wanted to tell him, but every time she chickened out. It keeps me up all night You and that perfect smile It is such a sight That can keep me going for another mile The lines went through her head all the time.
The next day she woke up in her apartment she shared with Melanie. She couldn�t remember how she got home, but remembered that Melanie was going to pick her up. She went into the kitchen, where Melanie was standing and making some toast. �Hey Sunshine!� Melanie said, smiling as always, no wonder, as she had her two-years anniversary with Shane. �Hey, Mel�� What happened really last night?� �What ya mean?� �You had broken in tears. Did Kian dump you?� She wasn�t sure if she wanted to tell her, but they talked about everything anyway. She shook her head. �No, I didn�t tell him�� Melanie rolled her eyes. �Come on now, you have been dreaming about this for what, three years now? You gotta stop doing this, just tell him. Jeezes, I thought I was slow with Shane�� Melanie and Shane had never really been a couple until two years ago, when Shane got tired of the �relationship� they had, one of those just fooling around-relationships and he said that if they weren�t going to be serious, he would find someone else, and from that moment on she was a true girlf. Something else then those 16 months before� �What happened this time?� Sherri looked at Melanie with sad eyes. �He got together with Liz�� What?!? Lizzy? My cousin??� Sherri nodded. �Oh, God, I hate this�� Melanie seemed to be more surprised over that Lizzy finally got a man, then about Sherri�s heartache. �My God� How did THAT happen? I mean, shit happens, but how could THAT happen?� �I have no idea, I just told Kian that I needed to talk with him, and then he asked me about what I thought about him and Liz. I just said it was surprising, and then he said he hoped that I was happy for them. I couldn�t say anything else then that I didn�t exactly think that they were a fit.� �What happened then?� �He got upset and just walked away.� Sherri sat down on a chair. �Why did I have to say that? That is like the worst thing you can say to anyone�� You have to tell him!� �What!?!� You can�t be serious! I can�t do that, then he�ll just hate me.� �No he won�t.� �Oh yes, he will!� I remember the first time I for you love feeled If only my heart could be healed
A quarter later Sherri found herself in front of Kian�s apartment. She knocked lightly. The door opened, and she looked into two blue eyes, Liz�s eyes. �Oh, hi Lizzy. Uh, I would want to talk with Kian.� �I know what you said yesterday,� she said with a little sense of anger in her voice. �I bet you do,� Sherri said poisonly. �Is Kian here?� Liz raised her eyebrow, and closed the door. Couple of seconds later Kian came out. �What is it?� he said. Sherri looked down at her feat, searching for forgiveness, as she would find it down there. �I�m sorry about yesterday, I shouldn�t have said that, you just caught me by surprise.� She said and looked up to him. �But you meant it.� She looked down again. �Yes, I did, but I shouldn�t have said it, and I�m sorry, and I hope we�re still friends.� �Off course we are, Sherri. And you�re right; Lizzy and me aren�t a great couple. I�m going to break up anyway.� �Why?� Sherri was a bit confused. �Cause I don�t love her, there�s someone else.� �Damn�, she thought to herself, so God damn typical. �Oh?� She said smiling, hiding the fact that she wanted to scream. �Who�s that?� Like she cared� �Hmm, you�d like to know that, huh?� He said teasingly. �Yes, we�re best friends, I think I have a right to know it if you�re in love!� �If I were a gal, then you would, but I�m a guy, remember that!� �You weren�t such a guy when we were ten and you dressed yourself in your mums clothes and tried her lipstick,� she said teasingly. He put a finger on his lips. He was so sexy when he did that� �Shh, you promised that you would never mention that again.� �And you promised that you would tell me everything!� �You�d find out in time who it is.� �Promise?� she said like she was so interested in that like she wanted to know who would be Kian�s next girl, though in reality she wanted to know it so she could tear out her eyes and kill her� �Promise!� he said and took his hand on her cheek, and Sherri felt like her knees was jelly and would burst in any minute. Did he have to do all those things that made him so god damn attractive? All the way home she thought about how gorgeous he was, with a couple of lines in her back head: That�s what keeps me up all night You and that perfect smile It is such a sight That can keep me going for another mile
When she got back, she noticed that Shane were there (not hard with the lights dimmed and living lights all around). She went quietly out, to not disturb the lovers. Outside again she wondered where she would go. Kian wondered the other day if she wanted to go to this party at Mark�s place. At that time she didn�t really want, but now she had no place to go anyway, so why not? When she got there, she got just in time to see Liz go out in rush, obviously hurt. Sherri enjoyed the sight, and went in. She looked for Kian, and found him. He was sitting on a couch, talking to Sherri�s sister, Caroline. What was she doing here? She all off the sudden embraced Kian, and Sherri figured that Caroline was the one he meant. Off course, my beautiful older sister, he had to choose her. Then she found out that she wanted to walk over to them. Even if Caroline was the beautiful, Sherri was the cute one. �Hi there!� She said, and raised an eyebrow at Kian. �So nice to see you two get along.� In the background she could hear the music, they played A1 with The Things We Never Did. You and me We sit and talk A friendship Then I ask if you can see If we could be together, forever �Yeah, we were just talking,� Kian said. �I kinda noticed that.� Caroline stood up from the couch. �Sorry but I gotta go and get something to drink,� she excused and blinked to him. He smiled back and she went out to the party. Sherri sat down next to Kian. �So..?� she said, hinting. �So� what?� �You don�t need to hide it from me. You�re hung up on Caroline?� Kian looked surprised. �Caroline? C�mon, she�s your sister, why on earth would I have any interests for her?� �I don�t know. All I know is that you told me that you were in love, and wont tell me who it is, and then I see you sitting here with her. Plus she blinked and you smiled back at her!� Sherri had to lower down to not relieve her jealousy. �Well, you see we were talking about my little crush�� Sherri interrupted him: �What? She knows?� �Well yeah, you see�� You wont tell me, but my sister you tell?� �C�mon Sherri, it�s not like that, why are you reacting like that?� �Cause�� Sherri didn�t know what to say. �Cause� I don�t know, all I know is that the last three years I have been hinting in any way I can, but you�re just too blind to notice me. So while you�re going around fooling around with all others I have been dreaming about you, about us, but you wouldn�t know anything about that, huh?� Sherri raised up from the chair, looked down at Kian. He just looked down at the floor. You see the light die in my eyes, coz I'm scared to lose you I wish you would try Well take a chance and come home with me You could stay for eternity If you try then at least you'll see Then you'll never regret the things we never did
She just walked away, didn�t notice that Kian sat and looked after her with a guilty look, full of regret. She sat in the park on a bench. The bench where she fell in love with him. She hold her face in her hands, remembering: She had just broken up with her own boyf, Thomas, and was devastated. Kian had been a true friend and helped her true the worst heartache. At first she thought that she just felt what she felt because she wanted a replacement for Thomas, but after a while she understood that her feelings would always be the same. She didn�t notice that Kian sat down beside her. �Sorry I didn�t know�� he said. �Nothing to be sorry about. I�m just so stupid�� You�re not stupid, I�m the stupid one. I caught your hints, but I didn�t think you meant it.� Sherri looked up at him. �Well, I did�� You know, I�ve always loved you, first only as a friend off course, but I love you, Sher, I mean it.� �I know you love me, you always say that, but I don�t mean as friends�� Kian interrupted her. �Me neither. The crush I was talking about was you.� �Yeah right.� �I�m serious, it was always you.� �Why didn�t you say something?� �I thought that you weren�t interested in me that way. Why didn�t you tell me?� �I chickened out every time, like yesterday�� Oh, so that was what you wanted to talk with me about�� Like duh.� Kian sat down on his knees in front of her. He took his hands around her face, and so did she. Sherri felt tears of happiness roll down her face as she felt his lips to hers. Oh god she had been waiting for this.