| Chapter 1 - Never Forgotten I had been nervous when Nicky and I went for that walk in the park. We just needed to get away from Bryans loud party music. I was nervous as we sat on the park bench - nervous of saying something wrong. Nicky was the most important person in my life - I felt so close to him, so at ease. Everything about him was perfect, and I wouldn't have changed him for the world. The moonlight, whilst we sat in the park, was beautiful - it shone on the lake and I could see it in Nicky's eyes as he stared at me. The moment Nicky said he was in love with me.....I felt as if no one else existed in the world but us. We were in our own world. And seeing Nicky's eyes light up when I said I felt the same way - it was magical. Nicky wrapped his arms around me, and held me tight, and then kissed me - what a wondeful kiss it was - It was then I knew I always wanted to be with him. A gentle breeze bought me back to reality. I cherished those memories. Memories of the moments Nicky and I had spent together before he was taken away from me. "Oh Nicky, I hope you can hear me - I really miss you. Ever since you've been gone...it's like a part of me is missing."I felt a tear trickle down my cheek, followed by another and another. I stared at the stone. It just made me cry even more. "Nicky - I love you, I still do - no one will ever take your place in my heart."I placed the bunch of red roses on the graveside, and sat back down. It was a beautiful day - the sun was shining, and I could hear the birds singing. Then, I just continued to stare at his gravestone - reading it's inscription over and over again, as if I didn't know it already. I then looked at the ring on my finger - the ring nicky had planned to give me that night. That night - the dreadful night of September 14th. Having Nicky in my arms like I did....seeing him suffering - it is a memory that will never rid me. Still, right until his death, Nicky put me first. Even though he was in pain, he tried not to show it as I sat at the roadside with him, waiting for help. That was just Nicky's style - to put on a brave face, pretend he was alright. I gave a little smile to myself as I recalled his last words to me - saying he loved me. I knew he must've known he wouldn't make it - he knew he was too badly injured. But, why him? All we wanted was to be together, forever. What was so wrong with that? We cared for eachother more than anything else in the world. I couldn't help thinking it should be me dead, and Nicky sitting here - If only things had been different that night - maybe if we'd left the party a few minutes later, or earlier than Nicky would still be here with me. If only we'd stayed in, and watched a video or listened to music.... I knew it was no use though - I couldn't change the past, no matter how much it hurt. The ring he had given me....it hadn't left my finger since I had put it on. I knew if I wore it, Nicky would always be with me - that's what he said in his letter, and I believed it. I had to have some hope - something to cling on to, and this belief was it - I imagined Nicky watching over me at that moment. "You're probably having a right old chuckle Nicky aren't you! Saying - 'stop fussing, and get on with your life.' I bet you are." I had cheered up a bit more now, remembering Nicky for the good times rather than the bad. I had learned to live with the fact he wasn't coming back. It had taken 2 years, but I had. Accepting it still didn't take away the hurt though, or the pain. The year after the accident, my life felt empty - Nicky had taken up so much of it, and with him gone.....I didn't know what to do. My friends had been good, rallying round to comfort me, talk, trying to take my mind off of it. They meant well, but in reality they hadn't helped me - I was just reminded of it even more.My mother, now she had helped. She was always there for me, and she let me deal with things in my own way, in my own time. It had been tough times - the toughest time I had ever had to face, and probably ever will. Still, I coped. I knew that coping with Nickys death meant I could cope with any other troubles life had to throw at me. In a way, Nicky's death had made me a stronger person. As I looked at the roses I had lay on the ground for him, I felt myself cry again. Would the pain ever go away? Chapter 2 - The Man As I cried I felt a hand on my shoulder. I stopped crying, and turned around, to see who it was. Although my vision was blurred with tears in my eyes, I could see a man - a young man. He couldn't have been more than 20 years old. He was tall, with blonde hair."It's always hard isn't it?" I nodded - "Yes, it is. But you can't help crying." He nodded, and gestured to the bench I was sitting on: "May I?" "Yes, of course." I moved over, and gave the man room to site down. I saw him look at Nicky's stone "Nicholas - you knew him?" I nodded, my face still wet from crying. "Yes, he was my boyfriend." "Oh, I'm sorry. You were close...?" "Very - I loved him so much. It's 2 years today you know - since his death." He gave a sympathetic look."I'm so sorry - you must feel terrible. It doesn't matter how many years it's been though - it doesn't take the pain away does it." "I know - it doesn't." "I've been through what you're going through now - I lost someone very close to me a coulpe of years ago too. I still think about her all of the time...." "I'm sorry to hear that - I take it you were visiting her grave today?" "Yes, It hurts everytime. You think you're over it, but you're not - not really." "I know - Nicky, my boyfriend - he was killed by a hit and run. We were on our way back from a party and I was crossing the road.....a car was speeding, and heading straight for me, when he thrust me out of the way, and got knocked over himself. He saved my life. That's what makes it so difficult - I can never get a chance to thank him, repay him...seeing him die in my arms is a memory that will always be with me." "I'm so sorry - it must have been terrible - I can't imagine." "It was....but I try to remember him for the better times we had together." "That's the approach you need to take isn't it - I mean, you have to be strong, and hope eventually the hurt will go away." He smiled at me, attempting to comfort me."Yes, I know - I never want to forget him though - I'm scared. I'm scared I will forget him - forget what he looks like, what he sounds like.....the times we had together." "You won't ever forget him - you fear you will, but you won't - trust me." I smiled."I hope not." "You won't." "I visit his grave evryday you know - talk to him, tell him what's been happening." "He'd like that - he can probably hear you you know. Anyway, I'm sorry but I have to go - not got much time. Nice speaking to you though."He smiled and got up from the bench. "Thank you for listening." The man began walking along the path, and dissappeared behind a huge green holly bush. I had to go aswell, so I said goodbye to Nicky, and ran along the path, to catch up with the man. I ran round the holly bush, but the man was no where in site - he had gone. |