| Well, that famous question 'why?' was a question that I asked myself constantly last year......why Nicky? I still ask myself that question. I'm still not over Nicky's death, but I've learned to live with it. Nicholas Byrne was the most important person in my life - I loved him with all of my heart, and still do. Never before had I felt so strongly for someone as I did for Nicky. He was the kindest, most thoughtful person you could ever have hoped to meet - we got on so well. Not only was he my boyfriend, but also my best friend, and when he died, I suppose you could say I lost 2 people, rather than 1. Nicky's funeral was the most difficult day of my life - everyone in the villiage grieved. Although he hadn't lived in our villiage for that long, he was well known - mainly for his out-going personality. Everyone loved Nicky. His family were devastated, as you'd expect - they moved back to Dublin, but I'm still in touch with them to this day. I wanted to do something special for Nicky, after his death, in dedication to him, so I had a memorial plaque made in ode to Nicky. I wanted too place it somewhere that was special to him, so I placed it at the top of the hill, where we used to always go for walks. Nicky would've liked that, I know. Although, as I said, I've learned to live with Nicky's death, I'm not over him - I never will be. Life seems different with him not there - it's like a part of me is missing. I still love him as much today, as I ever did. No one really knew how much I loved him - I still wear the shamrock necklace he gave me to this day, I've never taken it off since the day he gave it to me, and never will. It took me months to come to terms with losing Nicky. Seeing my boyfriend dying infront of me, is a memory that will haunt me for the rest of my life - I would've given anything in the world to have swapped places with Nicky. Seeing him suffering like that tore me apart. And on our 6 month anniversary - the night on September 14th will be a night I'll never ever forget. The driver never was found either. It was a hit and run accident. But, why Nicky? It's not justified, for someones life to be taken, just like that. And especially Nickys - he'd never hurt anyone. It dooesn't seem right. I won't lie to you all - there are some nights when I cry, and think of Nicky, and long to see him. On the other hand though, there are times when I smile, and forget he's not with us - I think of the fun we had together. Although we'd only been going out for 6 months, we were very close - we could talk about anything. I always think fond, happy memories of Nicky, rather than the ones of him suffering, and in pain - it's the best thing to do - remember him for the good times and not the bad. However, something happened afterwards - Nicky's mother called me round to the house, after the funeral - she said she had something to give me. She said she'd found it, when sorting Nicky's room, and told me I'd find it on his window ledge in his bedroom. I went upstairs, to Nicky's room. As I entered the room, I felt strange there was a different, unusual feeling in the room, as I walked over to the window ledge. On the ledge was a small black box, and an envelope. I picked up the envelope, and opened it. Inside, was a letter - it read: Dear Charlotte, I thought I'd write you this note, just to tell you a few things - well, firstly happy 6 month anniversary! I love you so much Charlotte, and I just wanted you to know that. I've never reached a 6 month anniversary with a girl before, let alone a girl as special as you. You're the most important thing in my life, and I never want to lose you, ever. I know this is probably untypical writing for a guy, but I don't care - I'd do anything for you, anytime. Anyway, won't go on - just to say open the black box - and happy anniversary once more, love always Nicky xxxxx I remember, after reading that letter, I was sobbing my heart out. I then picked up the box, and opened it. I was speechless, when I saw what was inside - a ring. I took the ring out of the box - it was gold, with a small pink stone in the middle. There was a tag attached to the ring, which read "The Love Stone - this ring will bring you luck, and love. Wear it always, and when ever you are apart from your lover, he/she will always be by your side in spirit" As I studied the ring more closely, I noticed it had been engraved - it said - with all my love, Nicky x. As I placed it on my finger, I felt a warm feeling. The room was no longer cold. It was as if Nicky was in the room with me, watching me. It's a year ago now, since Nicky's death. It doesn't seem like it though - time has just flew by. I've still got the ring on, and will never take it off. I like to think Nicky is with me where ever I go, and believe he is watching over me, in heaven. I know we'll meet again, someday. To me, Nicky lives on, maybe not in person, but in my heart. THE END |