| Chapter 17 "You're what?" i asked loudly. I stood there looking at Clara trying to figure out if I heard her the first time. "I'm getting married!" she said slowly. I just stared at her. "So wait, first Shane and Vicki, now you and Kian?" I questioned. "Oh my god! They're getting married too?" she exclaimed excitedly. I thought for a second why she acted this way, it was a secret and I let it slip. "Pretend you never heard that, Clara." "Why?" she asked. "Never mind, there's more things to talk about. Like, you and Kian for example..." "What's wrong with us?" she interrupted suddenly over-protective. "Well you know, don't you think it's a bit soon to get engaged? I mean, gosh, you've known each other for less than a month." I pointed out. "But it seems like I've known him forever." She replied dreamily as she collapsed onto the bed full of smiles. "Clara are you sure about this? This is a big commitment?" "Positive!" she said immediately. I gave up on her, she was hopeless. I decided to turn on the television instead. I "channel surfed" a bit since I wasn't too sure on the channels here or anything. "Oh cool! MTV!" Clara said suddenly. I went up a few channels. We sat there watching the end of a video, Blink182 to be exact. I loved Blink, even though this was an old video. "Clara? Remember when we went to that Blink182 concert last year?" I asked her turning around. "Shhhhh..." she hissed at me. 'What's her problem?' I thought as i turned around, I was greeted by the opening chords of "My private movie". I looked at Clara and as if on cue we started screaming madly at the exact same time. "My god! What's wrong with you two?" Bryan asked as he rushed into the room, followed by the others. "Ll...ll...look!" I stuttered in my excitement at the video MTV had "borrowed" from America. "Ahhhhhh! Guys they're playing our new video!" Bryan screamed as loud or louder. Within seconds, everyone was in here, even Shane and Vicki, who had just arrived. I turned my attention back to the music video. It looked wonderful and I was amazed to finally see the finished product. My heart dropped a bit when I saw who Mark was dancing with... Nisa. All of a sudden, my body over-flowed with the feelings of jealousy that I'd kept hidden for so long. I got up and quickly ran out the door, bumping into someone on my way out, "Sorry." I muttered. "Ooh! It's you." The girl squeaked. It was Nisa. "Leave me alone!" I screamed and ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I sat on the toilet cover and cried, letting all the tears from before crash out onto the tiled floor. "Mei?" a voice asked, "Mei, are you in there?" I knew it was Mark, "Yea." I said back as I wiped the tears from my face. I got up and opened the door. "Mei, what's wrong? You ran out so fast I never got to talk to you." He said kindly. "Oh you're so sweet." I said attempting to smile as I gave him a hug. He pulled away, "No, no you're not. Don't play this "I'm fine "game with me. I'm here to help you and I want to help you with this situation." He stated as he kissed my hair. I let my tears fall freely on his freshly cleaned new shirt. I whispered why this was happening. I expected him to be mad at me. "You mean... all that time you were ignoring me was because of Nisa? She'd a good friend of mine, but I think she wants to be more than just "friends"..." he trailed off, I looked away. "Mei, you know that I don't want her. Gosh Mei, I swear I've probably loved you since the second I saw you/" "Really?" I asked. "Really." He smiled leaning into kiss me. Mid-kiss my cellular phone rang. "Oh damn." I said reaching for it. "Don't bother, "Mark smiled, "You can check your messages later." He pleaded as he pulled me back. "Ok." I giggled and allowed myself to become wrapped up in him. We had a few more private "moments" until my phone rang again. "Mark," I started as I pulled away, "I should answer that. It's the second time they've called." I said turning on my phone. "Hold that thought." I smiled back at him. "Hello?" I asked. I listened intently oftenly brushing Mark off my neck. "Mark please stop, this is important." I begged and moved a bit further away as i listened to the voice continue to talk. "Oh my god!" I said aloud as I let my phone slip from my fingers and shatter to pieces upon the floor. --------------------------------------------------- "Mei? Melia? Wake up! Wake up!" Mark said as he gently hit my cheeks. "Hi Mark." I smiled weakly as I tried to get up, my knees collapsed under me sending me back into his arms. "What happened Mei? Who called?" he eagerly asked. "It it it, "I trailed off, "Brett." I whispered. "Brett? What about Brett? What's wrong?" he questioned raising me up. "He's... he's...dead." I said slowly. I let my head fall as I let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. "Dead? He died? How?" Mark asked as he held me close and rocked me back and forth. "He hung himself." I solemnly said between sobs. Mark just listened and didn't speak a word. "I know it was because of me. He loved me so much, I was just too blind to face the facts. It was me. Me, Mark! I killed him!" I moaned. Mark mumbled something then kissed my forehead as he rocked me back and forth for the rest of the night. "He had Blink182's "Adam's song" on replay Mark. It's terrible, I feel so bad." I said as i cried silently as my head continuously sang a verse of the lyrics in my head. It somehow connected... "I never thought I'd die alone, I laughed the loudest, who'd have known I traced the cord back to the wall, No wonder it was never plugged in at all I took my time, I hurried up, The choice was mine I didn't think enough I'm too depressed to go on, You'll be sorry when I'm gone..." Chapter 18 I woke up early one morning, and walked towards my window. I slowly pulled back the curtains, letting light flood into the room. I lifted my sleepy feet up so I could walk to the bathroom. I stood there letting there the cool water flow down my back. I tried to wash away all my sadness, all my regret's as I stood there that morning. The morning of Brett's funeral. I slipped into my long black dress and threw my hair into a long braid. My hair seemed as dead and useless as I did that fateful day. ------------------------------------------------------- I walked slowly towards his coffin, letting the tears flow freely down my face. I reached him and bent over so I could kiss his forehead, cold or not. I watched as a tear fell from my face and dripped down his face. I reached over and wiped it off his cheek gently. He seemed so different, his color and smile was gone, he would never smile again. "I'm so sorry, Brett." I whispered and placed the plumeria flower from my hair in his hands. "I'll miss you." I said softly and sadly while I caressed his cold, pale cheek with my hand. ---------------------------------------------------------- Mark came up and got me from my kneeling position. I held on for dear life as if I may drown in my pool of sadness. My tears stained his shirt and I felt a few of his splash upon my head. He knew how much Brett had meant to me and I was proud of Mark for treating Brett, who loved me with all of his heart, so sweetly. I hugged him tight and tried to be as Brett would want me to be... happy. ---------------------------------------------------------- That night I drove out to that island. By the time I reached the place where I would have to cross it was near midnight. I crossed slowly, even though the water was only up to my waist. My long dress floated behind me as I walked, ghost-like through the water to the place where the waves broke on the shore. I sat myself down and cried. As I got up, I wiped my tears away and decided to look for flowers to make something of an offering for him. I gathered 50 or so Plumerias, which were his favorite flower, and slowly strung them into a lei, or flower necklace as the night went on and the stars twinkled in the heavens. I finished the lei and kissed a petal softly. I spoke a short message to him, and asked for forgiveness as I walked into the water. I walked for a long time until the water was up to my chest, and then gently removed the lei from my neck and placed it on the water's surface. It floated gracefully on the sea's surface as my tears made small ripples on the water. ----------------------------------------------------- The next day I rose early as the sun hit my face. My hair hung in clumps around my head. I stood up in a daze letting my long, damp dress cling to my figure. Turning, I walked once again into the water. The tide had become higher, and the water swallowed my body beneath my chin. I walked solemnly and slowly across, the waters coldness nipping at my body. A small flower floated towards me and I picked it up. It was the same kind of flower that was in the lei I made for Brett last night. I smiled and picked it up as I slowly processed. ------------------------------------------------------ That night I fell ill with a terrible fever. I swam in the heat as sweat flowed down my forehead. Mark would wipe me with cold cloths every now and then. He looked relived, yet worried to see me. I had just disappeared and I guess he was glad to have me back. My mother rushed into the room and asked him to wait outside for awhile. -------------------------------------------------------- I slept a fretful sleep that night, I dreamt I heard Brett calling me. I dreamed I had died and as I walked down the hall, in my spirit form, I walked towards the light flooding from the living room. I entered the room and Brett turned around to face me, he smiled, and mouthed "thank you." I shot up from my bed and tried to decipher the meaning. He was fine. He was fine. I repeated to myself as a sudden burst of wind rushed through the open window. My candle flickered out, leaving me alone in the moon-lit room. |