| Part 17( Bryan) A week later We were on the plane back to Dublin after the tour. I was sitting beside the kids and Robyn. They were all sleeping and it gave me a little time to figure out what to say to Derek when we met him the next day, to discuss things. I stared out of the window, then Jess started to wriggle about next to me, another nightmare. I shook her awake. "Jess, wake up. It's a dream." I said, quietly. She woke up and looked up at me, still shaking. "Can I sit with you?" She asked, I nodded and she sat on my knee. "What's going on?" Dylan asked sleepily waking up. "Jess had a bad dream. Go back to sleep." I explained. "Are you ok Jess?" He asked her, she was now sleepy again, and nodded. "Here, take my bear." He handed her his old teddy. "I'm a big boy now, aren't I Daddy?" He said, proudly. "Yeah, you sure you can give up bear?" He looked horrified. "Give up bear?" He shook his head. "But Jess can take him til we get home." I smiled at him, Jess was now sleeping again, clutching the teddy. "Looking forward to going home?" I asked him, he thought for a minute. "Yeah. But Daddy-" he stopped and looked as if he was unsure about what he was going to say next. "What's wrong Dyl?" "I heard you and Uncle Mark talking last week, does Uncle Derek want me to stay with him?" I didn't know what to say, I hadn't realised he knew. "Maybe." "So, would you and Jess be there too?" He asked, looking hopeful. I shook my head, no. "I don't want to stay with him if you won't be there." His eyes watered a little. "You won't make me stay will you?" "Of course not, I want you with me and Jess." I explained. "Is this because Mummy's not here? Do you not want me now?" "Dylan, I don't want you to go, I'm not going to let you go if I can, ok? You're staying with us. Right?" "Ok." He smiled. Looking relieved, then let out a yawn. "You going back to sleep then?" He nodded, and closed his eyes. I sat again, staring out of the window. "You ok?" Mark, who was sitting behind me asked. "You heard what he said?" "Yeah, poor kid, I honestly never knew that he heard us. He's probably been worrying about it since then. He said, quietly. "Surely if Derek knows how Dylan feels about it, he won't do this." "I wish I could believe that Mark." "Believe what Bryan?" Robyn woke up and looked at me, confused. "Dylan knows that Derek wants him." I explained. "What? How? You told him?" She asked in disbelief. "No, he overheard me and Mark last week. He doesn't want to go. He thought that - I didn't want him because Ally wasn't there,if only he knew the truth." I sighed, staring at him sleeping. "Oh, I thought he'd been a bit quiet, clingy too." "Why didn't you tell me?" "I just thought he missed his home. I never thought-" "None of us did." Mark replied. "What now?" Robyn asked. "I'm meeting Derek tomorrow, I wasn't going to take Dylan., maybe I should, that way he could tell Derek himself." "I don't know, that's not the best position to be in, he's 6 years old Bryan, he doesn't understand." Robyn said. "How did this get so complicated?" I asked myself, more than the others. "Dunno mate." Mark sighed. "Everything's going to be ok." Robyn smiled. "Yeah, it will be." I said, smiling, hoping I was right. I leaned my head against the window and drifted into a dream less sleep. I woke up when the plane landed with a bump. I opened my eyes and looked around. Jess was now back in her own seat and was awake. "Wake up! We're home!" Jes was shaking me. "Ok, I'm awake!" I laughed. We all got off the plane. Robyn carried Dylan because he was still sleeping and I grabbed the bags. We got home, and put Dylan and Jess to bed, I was still unsure about taking Dylan with me tomorrow. I sat in the living room, watching a movie with Robyn, but not really focusing on it. "Bryan?" I was snapped out of my thoughts. "You ok? You seem miles away." She paused for a second. "Worried about tomorrow?" I nodded. "Me too,a bit, but I'm sure everything's going to be fine." She came over and sat beside me, putting her arms around me. "You need a hug." "Yeah, I do." I smiled at her, and she hugged me. I started to sob, felt like I couldn't stop, and we both fell asleep on the sofa that night. |