1999 march 22

teeth

note to self: do not attempt to floss with business cards.

due mostly to a major dance with bulimia in my 20's, i have hundreds of dollars of dental work in my mouth. although at times i am afraid i will set off airport metal detectors, it is mostly of no consequence, except for the larger than normal gaps it has left between some of my teeth. those gaps are extremely efficient food traps and as a result i have become an avid flosser; not that it seems to do much good, as the cavity i must have filled in two weeks is between two teeth, between two teeth that i floss constantly. sometimes it feels as though the floss just won't do the job so i have taken to sliding one of my business cards between the teeth to try and dislodge whatever is bothering me there; i have hundreds of cards and i absolutely never hand them out.

i spent the better part of an hour last night trying to get a piece of business card unwedged from between the teeth. too bad you weren't here to watch: a needle, a toothbrush, two sorts of floss and a lot of swearing.

as an aside, although it seems to be ubertrendy of late, i do not romanticize the years i spent barfing to stay thin. it damaged my teeth and my throat, made my heart stop on more than one occasion, and i don't even want to think of all the dollars i spent renting food for five or ten minutes. it did however leave me with one skill: i could be in a room full of silent praying nuns and i could vomit without disturbing so much as a prayer bead. nobody, and i mean nobody throws up more quietly than claire.

on an extremely positive note, firedrake, she who is the creator and holder of brand x, has maneuvered a workaround that should put a halt to all the javascript errors when viewing my page through hers. feel free to honor her complete and utter goddessness.

toothily, claire