TACTless Leamons...

Written By: Claire Rand

Last Updated: Monday, 26 June 2006 08:16:38 PM

Well another bright sunny Monday dawned, and promptly went back to bed leaving the dull overcast nonsense I drove through on my way to what is generally refered to as work though the name is somewhat in error.

Anyway crawled to work bright and bushy tailed* and made my way up to the orifice. Ahhh Engineering, its a different world, until I'd actually attended I though Scott Adams was kidding. apparently not. sigh.

Now the task for today was pretty clearly laid out. Its whats known as that time of the month meaning a large quantity of paper is expected to leave my desk, along with a wide range of emails. The idea (apparently) is for them to contain words, and a bizzare form of modern art known as a kpi$, well the latter I can fake, since I have twigged to the most important aspect of my job no one else knows what it is that I'm meant to be doing as such I can get away with murder, and frequently do.

Note for my boss when hes daily trawl of the internet finds this

KIDDING

Anyway onto leamons, or one particular leamon thats the bane of my very life. Dubbed TACT for reasons I neither know nor care about, its apparently meant to be a database of defects and work done (yeah right) in practice its a fiend from hell sent to torment my very exisitence.

Todays job is to run a small number of reports on this creation of the devil, it then rewards me with five plain text files in an obscure and awkward format... I was meant to then read these, transcribe it into a spreadsheet and do something (I forget what) with them.

To coin a phrase, bugger that, I wrote a small program to feed these files into something else for me which then does the stuff I've forgotten about and basically wries the report for me. Sad when 90% of a job is pressing one button, but thats life.

However the first thing I have to do is run these reports...

No I've nothing against off shore call centres that a granade wouldn't fix, but trying to get someone in Canada to fix something when they care even less than I do and know even less.. well you get the idea.

So I was watching it download 6meg at around 90 cps, sod that grabbed a coffee.

Got collared on my way back, my manager wanted help using a new navigation gadget.. turns out a compass has but one moving part, well thats one to many it seems, baffed the poor sod was. Hes off hill walking soon... well I wish him luck but I doubt he'll be seen again.

Evolution in action?

Anyway gotta go, got more coffee to drink.

Wheeeeeeee 95cps....

• * This is a fib actually
• $ I have no idea what this means either

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