| Episode 1 TOP 10 THINGS BOB AND BILL HAVE BEEN UP TO OVER THE PAST NINE YEARS 10. Knee deep in hookers and viagra 9. Panty raiding the sorority houses 8. Bob: Married to Britney Spears once, Bill: Married to Britney Spears TWICE 7. Whooping it up with a Guatemala Antigua at Starbucks 6. I have no idea but Barry Bonds has already hit five homeruns while we have been reading this list 5. Prison 4. Bob: Dead, Bill: Driving truck 3. Eating all the spam saved for Y2K 2. Obviously not getting any funnier 1. Celebrating the best damn nine years of our lives Episode 2 TOP 10 DES MOINES DRIVING TIPS 10. Tailgate as close as you can so you can read those pesky little license plate letters 9. Construction obstacles make freeway driving much easier 8. Keep local insurance industry thriving by causing more accidents 7. 80 MPH + icy roads = FUN!! 6. Shoot hunting companion...no, wait, that's a Dick Cheney hunting tip 5. Hawkeye or Cyclone game nights justify attempted vehicular homicide on your way home 4. Cheat people out of lots of money and then resign from your state job, no, wait, that's a CIETC (Central Iowa Employment and Training Consortium) tip 3. Driver's side doors are overrated 2. Supervisors work out great for drunk cops who are speeding 1. Find the quickest route to get the hell out of town! Episode 3 TOP 10 BOB AND BILL 2006 TAX TIPS 10. Get lame podcast show to write off as business expense 9. Write lame Top Ten list for lame podcast show to write off as business expense 8. You can never go wrong with big company accountants, just like those geniuses from Haliburton 7. Marry a hooker because most hookers don't pay income taxes 6. E-file using your own extension 5. Chicks dig abacuses 4. Easy to cheat government with the information the President leaks 3. Cut expenses by hiring Pete Rose's accountant 2. Invest in a good seat cushion because you'll need it after paying out your ass 1. Don't get caught playing with your W-2 Episode 4 TOP 10 THINGS TO LOOK FOR DURING DRAKE RELAYS WEEKEND 10. The phone number for Alcoholics Anonymous, because you'll need it after this weekend 9. This tip: Make sure when you're outrunning the cops, you take off your track cleats first 8. Real people who actually care about High School or College track 7. EXIT STRATEGY for ridiculous overseas war 6. Another way to cheat with state money, just like those CIETC people 5. All the fun that didn't happen at Veishea last weekend 4. This tip: You know you're having a good time when your face is as blue as the new outdoor track 3. Make sure when you mention "heat", you're talking about the TRACK term 2. Cheap gasoline, yeah, GOOD LUCK with that one! 1. Some place safe where you can hand your girlfriend your baton Episode 5 TOP 10 KEITH RICHARDS EXCUSES 10. Wanted to be the hit in the group's next hit song 9. Became confused between picking coconuts and landing on his 8. Realized Dick Cheney was having target practice a couple of trees over 7. Got tired of same old "sex, drugs, rock and roll" story, figured concussion would spice things up a bit 6. Wanted to be buried in Iowa 5. Figured falling out of a tree is good exercise for a 62-year-old man 4. Fastest way to come down after getting high 3. Needed a head start at finding any buried treasure 2. Wanted to steal spotlight away from other drugged up celebrities like George Bush 1. Showed everyone what the group meant by "a bigger bang" Episode 6 TOP 10 THREE DOG NIGHT OR DAHL'S TICKET EXCUSES 10. Hard to concentrate on singing ONLY HIT with flashing camera bulbs 9. Tied up phone lines blowing load on Kentucky Derby 8. Hey, since Springsteen's cutting out seats, we're cutting out internet connections 7. Hated idea of having to buy back pictures off E-Bay 6. Too busy scalping tickets for "Hairspray" 5. Internet lines were tapped by new head of CIA 4. Flashes might wake up creepy ghost of the Big Bopper 3. Wanted to become topic for next lame Top Ten List 2. Has-beens don't need pictures taken 1. First a picture, then you'll want us to do something crazy like pick coconuts out of a tree Episode 7 - LISTENER Top 10 TOP 10 LEAST PLACES YOU WANT TO FIND SAND AFTER VISITING THE BEACH 10. DUH! Your Butt Crack --Dot 9. In your eyes --Aunt Kat 8. In your crack--between your toes --Bill's Girlfriend 7. In your saggy boobs --Aunt Kat 6. In the under-hang of your buttocks (aka butt cheeks) --Aunt Kat 5. On your coconuts!! (any connection to Keith Richards?) --Bill's Girlfriend 4. In the testicle tropics --Aunt Kat 3. In the folds of "grandma's apron" --Aunt Kat 2. In the "rim" of your "mushroom" --Aunt Kat 1. In your bushes--might attract crabs --Aunt Kat Episode 7 TOP 10 WAYS TO CRACK THE DA VINCI CODE 10. Two Coronas WITH LIME 9. They always said calculus was good for something 8. Ask the doctor that's kept Elvis alive all these years 7. Play the Thriller LP backwards 6. The secret's in the sauce 5. Look in the bottom of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow 4. Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon obviously knows how to cover up secrets 3. There is something to those Greek letters after all 2. Ask Keith Richards...that's what he was searching for when he fell out of the coconut tree 1. The decoder in the box of Lucky Charms Episode 8 TOP 10 THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN WATCHING AUTO RACING 10. Where do they get those outfits? The GAP? 9. Can those pit guys do a 30 second job on my car's transmission? 8. Don't them drivers get dizzy? 7. I think Danica Patrick needs an oil change herself 6. I wonder if John Glenn's gonna try this next? 5. What kind of thrill is it to hit a wall at 200 MPH? 4. Is Jeff Gordon's sister Batgirl? 3. I don't think I'm qualified to do that stuff. I cannot overhaul a 350 cam with dual exhaust 2. Dick Trickle--The name says it all 1. Hey Dudes, INDY this! Episode 9 TOP 10 THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR ON 6/6/06 10. Crazy cosmic voices telling you the message: "Less filling, Tastes great" 9. Silly attempt at comedy in the form of a top ten list about the date 6/6/06 8. Creepy visual of excitement surrounding upcoming World Cup 7. Bob's drunken rants, Bill crashing wedding dances 6. Losers who think this date actually has any meaning to it 5. Satan becomes Democratic candidate for Governor because of mis-counted Hanging Chads 4. Cheap tacos, because everyone knows it's also Taco Tuesday 3. Dyslexic groupies attacking because they finally know the date 2. Bob kicking crap out of Vince Vaughn to date Jennifer Aniston 1. Anything else to do with numbers because, frankly, math sucks Episode 10 TOP 10 LAST WORDS OF ABU MUSAB AL-ZARQAWI 10. Honey, it's late, can you turn off the explosions and come to bed? 9. Bombs? Wait till they see the bomb in my pants 8. Gee, this XBOX 360 game sure is life like 7. Good Lord, Cheney's at it again 6. Sorry suckers, #6 on this list was already one of my previous victims 5. That Alberto is one bitchin' hurricane 4. What do you mean I owe postage for these bombs? 3. Hey, can you knock off all the gunfire? I'm trying to download the Bob and Bill Show 2. Oh my god, I look like Kenny Rogers 1. President Bush, I'll see you in hell! Episode 11 TOP 10 REASONS BILL IS PODCASTING FROM A REMOTE LOCATION 10. Was annoyed that only one babe was available in the studio this week 9. Offers chance to say cheap plugs for computer stuff you'll never use 8. Decreases chance of Bob interrupting Bill 7. Became scared when rumors circulated about possible podcast HGH testing 6. Needed safe spot to hide from nasty North Korean missle 5. Had to make room for current replacement: Katie Couric 4. Now I can finally podcast in the nude 3. Beats hassle of having to get a restraining order on our "fan", Carl Spackler 2. Bob gets funnier the further away you get 1. Three words: Des Moines SUCKS!! Episode 12 TOP 10 SURPRISES IN THE NEW SUPERMAN MOVIE 10. Brief reference towards his short marriage to Britney Spears 9. Scary ending: When Lex Luthor and Jimmy Olsen announce their gay wedding 8. President Bush makes an appearance asking for an autograph on his Superman undies 7. Superman finds this entry too offensive, destroys it with his heat vision 6. The planet Krypton is really just a stripper club 5. Because of new technology, Clark Kent is forced to change in a cell phone case instead of a phone booth 4. Superman is finished when his true identity is leaked by the government 3. In a bizarre twist, Superman admits to using steroids 2. According to the babes, Superman is really super, if you know what I mean... 1. His true weakness: He's from Iowa Episode 13 TOP 10 REASONS DES MOINES WAS SNUBBED BY THE NCAA 10. Have you been on I-235 lately? 9. Champions on Ice? We'll just leave it at that 8. Afraid that the Bob & Bill show will scare away all the fans 7. Keith Richards is building us a pirate ship to play in 6. Using money donated by CIETC staff to build a bigger arena 5. This number was more popular than the Wells Fargo Arena 4. Did you hear about the virus Ames just got? 3. Elma High School gym is bigger than the Wells Fargo Arena, just ask Bob's prom date...oh wait...nevermind 2. All of the food at the concession stands are on a stick! Even the beer! 1. Three popular words: Des Moines Sucks! Episode 14 TOP 10 THINGS YOU DON'T WANT YOUR BIRTHDAY CARD TO TELL YOU 10. Good news! We have enough firemen to handle the candles on your cake this year 9. The judge says you're my daddy 8. Happy Birthday! Love, Oprah 7. This is from your good friends, Bob and Bill 6. Didn't I beat you up in grade school? 5. You're still good looking even with your gnarled teeth and thinning hair 4. I really loved you when you were one of the Dixie Chicks 3. This new Top Ten list is your gift 2. How about dinner tonight? Sincerely, Robert Blake 1. Happy New Year! Episode 15 TOP 10 REASONS BOB AND BILL HAVE TAKEN THE SHOW ON THE ROAD 10. Figured enough $10 beers would make show funnier 9. It's Bob and Bill bobblehead night in Kansas City 8. Wanted to beat old time record through road construction obstacle course 7. Needed to get out of town after running over family of RAGBRAI riders 6. Nothing spells fun more than high gas cost, high ticket cost, and cheap city hookers 5. Hoping to find Israeli woman to invade Bill's pants 4. Wanted to be in first 20,000 fans who get free syringes 3. Chants of "you suck" directed at game, not show 2. Wanted to see players suck as bad as Bob's prom night 1. Three famous words: Des Moines sucks Episode 16 TOP 10 THINGS OVERHEARD ON RAGBRAI 2006 10. Smell that fresh hog lot contaminated air! 9. CIETC's paying me a bundle to do this 8. I haven't been in this much heat since Bob's prom night 7. Look, Mel Gibson is being pulled over on his 10-speed 6. The winner gets control of Cuba 5. I thought the only doping going on was in the White House 4. Get out of my way, I'm off to invade the Israeli beer stand 3. Yo baby, wanna see some of my synthetic testosterone? 2. Hey Lance, I'll trade you my syringe for your Bud Light 1. RAGBRAI, who gives a rat's ass?! Episode 17 TOP 10 REJECTED AMUSEMENT PARK RIDES 10.The Swallower 9. The Manueur Spreader 8. The Drowner 7. Dirty Nose Adventure 6. Urine Rafting 5. Spin Yourself 'Til You Barf 4. The Israeli Invader 3. The Gas Siphoner 2. The Drunk Driver 1. The Syringe-O-Round Episode 18 TOP 10 REJECTED FOODS ON A STICK AT THE IOWA STATE FAIR 10.Cool Whip 9. Bush 8. Hezbollah 7. CIETC 6. Bob or Bill 5. Sorry, due to Bill's vacation there is no number five for this list 4. Steroids 3. Soup 2. **Bleep** 1. Stick? Stick this up your ass! Episode 19 TOP 10 DELL EXCUSES 10.Didn't realize XPS meant EXPLODES 9. Our bomb is comparable to that new Paris Hilton album 8. Damn Energizer Bunny was juicin' again 7. Someone rigged the polls and no, wait, that's a re-count 6. Figured this was the easiest way to get rid of annoying spam e-mail 5. Wanted to prove that Bush isn't the only person that can blow things up 4. Apple promised a printer for every ten computers blown up 3. Our Dell computers run as good as Bob can say Hezbollah 2. We warned you not to download the Bob and Bill Show 1. Dude, you got a dud! Episode 20 TOP 10 REJECTED EMMY CATEGORIES 10.Most outstanding pronunciation of Hezbollah 9. Best elimination of the ninth planet 8. Outstanding firing of Tom Cruise 7. Most countries angered by U.S. Government 6. Best Bob, Best Bill 5. Fastest vomiting of the baby food tasting test 4. Best athletic supporter 3. Best imitation of a funny Top Ten list 2. Best supporting podcaster in a dramatic or comedic reality series containing a foreign language with a musical score director and a special effects producer guest appearing in a...aw, SCREW IT! 1. Outstanding portrayal of a lame podcast Episode 21 (POWER HOUR II) TOP 10 SIGNS YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK 10.You think it's a good idea to convert to Islam 9. Rotary Club calendars sound like a good idea 8. You think Katie Couric looks better without being doctored up 7. It's ok to take a microphone into the bathroom 6. You start getting aroused while looking at Bob's picture 5. You like to try different baby foods on a podcast 4. Your name is Mel Gibson 3. Ethanol is less filling, but tastes great 2. Your Busch is light 1. You're laughing at this stupid Top Ten list Episode 22 TOP 10 BAD SPORTS EUPHEMISMS FOR SEX 10.Clean Jerk (weightlifting) 9. The Breast Stroke (swimming) 8. Tight End (football) 7. Go Deep! (football) 6. It's mating season (hunting) 5. Penetration (football) 4. Mount that horse! (horse riding) 3. Body check (hockey) 2. I'm tight or I'm loose (auto racing) 1. Rack 'em! (billiards) Episode 23 TOP 10 CHANGES YOU MIGHT SEE TO SUPERHEROES 10.Captain America gets fed up with the government, defects out of country to become Captain Paraguay 9. Plastic Man finally snaps, dies 8. Wonder Woman tires of saving the world, takes job as waitress at Hooters 7. Xena's secret identity is ruined when she agrees to pose nude for Playboy 6. Kryptonite does not kill Superman, it just changes him into some loser named Brian Arnold. 5. Aquaman swims too close to that beach near Florida and is eaten by sharks 4. Bruce Wayne loses fortune in day trading, is forced to sell his Batman costume on ebay 3. Spiderman is finished when he confuses his webfluid with Raid 2. The Incredible Hulk is told by his partner that he isn't "incredible" after all, if you know what I mean. 1. President Bush is impeached Episode 24 TOP 10 SIGNS YOU ARE AN INTERNET JUNKIE 10.When giving directions to a stranger, you keep saying "information superhighway" 9. You wonder if people want to see your "MYSPACE" 8. You dip computer chips in sauce at supper time 7. You write a top ten list about the signs you are a junkie 6. People tell you, "Hey, you're a computer junkie!" 5. You had to visit the emergency room after you thought you hurt yourself during a war video game 4. You legally change your initials to W.W.W. 3. Your hot Friday night date is a night in the computer lab 2. Your best pick-up line is, "Hey, baby, wanna see my hard drive?" 1. Your school GPA is 2.5 gigabytes Episode 24.5 TOP 10 SIGNS YOU HAVE A BAD HALLOWEEN COSTUME 10.You get pelted with teeth and asked for money because kids think you're the real tooth fairy 9. You call up your buddy Barry Bonds so he can help you turn into the real Incredible Hulk 8. Your prison uniform gets you calls from the Oakland Raiders to join their team 7. You rob all the local blood banks so you can become a vampire 6. You've lost so much weight you can go as the "skeleton guy" 5. All you need for your witch costume is a broom. You already have the green skin, bad acme and a nose that screams plastic surgery 4. You win 1st prize in the scaries costume category with your Bob & Bill costume 3. Your head wound costume is homemade with real stab wounds and all 2. Your Superman costume is a little too tight which shows that you're really not "super" at all 1. Your crafting skills on your ghost costume looks more like a KKK hood |
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| For original TOP 10 lists, check out Bob's Lists by clicking here! |