A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats Look down on us. Pigs Treat us as equals.
I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
We are all worms, but I believe that I am a glow-worm.
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.
Lady Astor: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
Churchill: My dear, if you were my wife I would drink it.
Bessie Braddock: Winston, you're drunk.
Churchill: Bessie, you are ugly. And in the morning, I shall be sober.
Although I am prepared for martyredom, I'd prefer to postpone it.
There are two things that are more difficult than making an after dinner speech; climbing a wall that is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
The length of this document defends it well against the risk of being read.
The inherent vice of private enterprise is unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
Say what you have to say and the first time you come to a sentence with a grammatical ending, sit down.
Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right, than to be responsible and wrong.
Nothing in life is exhilerating as to be shot at without result.
Never hold discussions with a monkey when an organ grinder is in the room.
If you're going through hell, don't stop.
I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is a much better policy to prophesy after the event has already taken place.
Ending sentences with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put its pants on.
At every crisis the Kaiser crumpled. In defeat, he fled; in revolution he abdicated; in exile he remarried.
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