MY DAIRY

嚙瑾

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                                  11/04/03

wah~ very happy! managed to add some more things to my website to make it look more interesting! heheeh...

ok Guys are absolute perverts! why? ok.. guys like to watch wrestling.. as well as gals dancing with boobs in their face.. right? yes so when interviewed.. if they prefer gals fighting.. or gals pole dancing.. they prefer the latter.. coz they find fighting meaningless.. then why in the first place do they like wrestling?!?!?! sigh.. maybe I'm generalizing.. but why then do I find it so revolting? how come I'm so disgusted with the guys? for god's sake they are being interviewed on TV! ah! guys! can you please show more dignity!!! I mean how dense can they get? I remember watching the news on like Valentine's day and guess what.. there was this place where they were giving out flowers for couples.. but everyone went up and queue for them! when interviewed.. most said.."I dunno... see pple queue then I also queue" damn... why do the news show such disgracing stuff on air? Like pple do not already know how KS Singaporeans are... DUH! ok.. I'm not like saying EVERYONE is like that.. but at least show some decency to hide it! so dumb... no offence but I just suddenly find it so pissing off...

MY BROTHER IS CRAZY...

hm.. how do you know when you find 'The One' ? you just know don't you? you just feel that you wanna spend the rest of your life with that person.. then do you go looking for that person.. trial and error? or do you just simply wait for that person to come along the way.. ?? everyone does it their own way.. life is a gamble.. you gotta take a risk... I'm sure at one point of your lives you'd have fought for your love.. and you'd have waited for love to find you.. but I feel so lost now.. I have the right to be lost.. coz I have so many years ahead of me.. I'm going to meet so many other pple.. learn so many other things.. dreams will change.. expectations will change.. taste will change.. feelings will change... why am I feeling lost? coz I don't know how my life will turn out.. will I just simply marry a guy.. and live the rest of my life with him? or will I have a 'hong hong lie lie" relationship? will I remain single? I've never wanted to get married coz I simply don't believe in it.. but at one point of my life.. that belief changed.. and I actually want to spend the rest of my life with someone.. wake up in the morning in his arms.. feeling his warmth.. now.. I suddenly don't believe in these things again.. these commitment stuff... drives me crazy.. traps me.. upsets me.. how I wish I can let go and go crazy... how I wish I can have a break from this SARS and WAR... but its a reality we have to face everyday... this fear that we somehow have to get used to.. and to get on with life.. to move on.. I must be getting rebellious again.. hate the normal ways of life.. the monotony.. but yet I'm not given the chance to do what I want simply coz of the responsibilities..

I'm not independent enough..

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I have no life.. I'm bored... I'm really bored..