Stupid Sightings

ADVICE FOR STUPID PEOPLE

An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety
Handbook for Employees:
"Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."


STUPID IN THE AREA

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars
and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

STUPID IN THE WORKFORCE

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was
sorry, but they only had Iceberg.

STUPID SIGHTING Sighting #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"

I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled and nodded knowingly,

"That's why we ask."

Sighting #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged worker of mine, when
she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?"

Sighting #3: Recognise anyone here?

At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the
company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this is
fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was
spoken.

We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an
approaching truck.

Sighting #4:

I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not
turn on.

Sighting #5:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We
went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly
to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side,
I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey,"
I announced to the technician,"It's open!" "I know," answered the young
man "I already got that side."

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