More Deep Thoughts
Always remember you're
unique -- just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning
to others.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good
qualities
without your help.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
The things that come to those who wait are what's left behind by
those
who got there first.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
from
bad judgment.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it
back in your pocket.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark
side, and
it holds the universe
together.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
works.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is
moving.
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while
looking for a bigger
stick.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you
have their shoes.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
clipboard.
Always try to make other people happy, even if you have to leave
them
alone to do it.
The older you get, the better you get (unless you're a banana)