Deep Thoughts
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
If at first you don't
succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Depression is merely anger
without enthusiasm.
When everything's coming your way, chances are that you're
traveling in the wrong lane.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
The hardness of butter is
directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
is research.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch
up.
A clear conscience is often the sign of a bad memory.
Plan to be spontaneous----tomorrow.
Two wrongs may not make a right; but two Wrights made an
airplane.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
A synonym is a word you use
in place of one you can't spell
Here's a new invention -- a solar-powered clothes dryer.
It's
called a clothes line
Leaders go down in history -- some farther down than others
Any man who laughs at women's clothes has never paid the bill for
them
For every judge operating in an official capacity, there are 100
who are self-appointed
It is when we forget
ourselves that we do things that are
most likely to be remembered
The more you know, the more you know you ought to know
Is it OK to use the AM
radio after noon?
When they first invented the clock, how did
they know what time it was to set it to?
Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"