| R e s p o n s i b i l i t y |
| Foundations of a Relationship Some are general. Some are specific. All are interconnected. All are important. |
| C o m m u n i c a t i o n |
| If you are uncertain about anything, it's just good common sense to talk about it. The other option is to make an assumption that will only be based on what you THINK the others may want. You may believe that you have known your partner long enough to guess right most of the time, but the time you save by guessing is not worth the result if you happen to guess wrong. Besides, people do change over time... what may not have been ok a year ago, may be different now... but you will only know if you ask. |
| D e p e n d a b i l i t y |
| In a world that is so changing, people build relationships so that despite all the changes that occur "outside" there is something to hang onto, something that can be counted upon. This doesn't mean that things don't change, but when more than one person is involved in any kind of relationship, chances are that compromises need to be made to ensure that everyone is treated fairly. |
| A c c e p t a n c e |
| Each person has different ideas and different opinions on many different topics. It is our differences that attract us to one another and make us unique. No one should ever change or pretend to change their opinion for the sake of others. If I love you, I love all of you, even the parts of you that annoy the hell out of me. And if you love me, you must love me as I am, not who you want me to be. If you want me to be someone else, then you need to find someone else to be with. |
| I believe that each person is responsible for their own happiness. However, if you choose to become part of a relationship, it is to be expected that the family and the relationships within the family become an important priority for everyone. This does not mean anyone needs to change who they are just for the sake of the others, but it is necessary to take into account the feelings of those that you love and respect, and to be responsible enough to keep the promises that you make. |
| H o n e s t y |
| Being honest is hard work. Many of us have been taught from childhood.. "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." We don't have any difficulty being honest about good things, but when it comes to things that may hurt us or hurt others, it's ingrained in us to keep it to ourselves. But we aren't children anymore, and it's time to grow up and do what we know is right no matter how difficult it may be for us to do. |
| T r u s t |
| There are many individuals who believe that you should either trust everyone or trust no one. But I don't trust or distrust anyone right off the bat. Trust MUST be earned. It is rare, it is valuable, and it is fragile. Maintaining trust takes work. Everyone knows that people can act in ways that allow trust to grow, and in ways that destroy trust. It should be no surprise that trust and honesty are strongly linked. If you are honest, you will be trusted to tell the truth. |
| R e s p e c t |
| When making decisions that effect the others in the family, it is a simple matter of respect to ensure that you take their wishes into account. If you are not sure what their wishes are, then you need to ask for clarification. If you are afraid to ask what their wishes are, then you need to ask yourself why? If it's because you know you won't like the answer, then you already know what their wishes are and should act accordingly. Be honest if you can not comply with the wishes of others. |
| P a t i e n c e |
| One of the most neglected element of building a foundation is Patience. It is SO very important to always move forward at the speed of the slowest person involved, or you risk leaving them behind. So often people get caught up in the rush of new love energy that they can think of nothing else. It's also vital to recognize that when someone is begging for things to slow down, this is not resistance to the new relationship. Everyone moves at their own speed. If anyone feels like they are being rushed or pushed into something they are not ready for, they are likely to bolt. |