A single-bladed, rocket snowcylce (THE BATBLADE), whips onto the ice, falling into the attack line. Batgirl helms the craft. The bat-force BLASTS upriver towards the icy Observatory.

Crow: Here come our heroes. Or whatever.

FREEZE
Ivy failed to unmask the Dynamic Duo. No matter, the Bat and Bird are mine at last. Watch, Batman, as your beloved Gotham freezes. And prepare to die. Because you're next.

Mike: Oh, I'm so scared.

Freeze points the telescope downtown. He FIRES Folks walking their dogs, drinking on stoops, kissing against alley walls, mailboxes, lampposts, the pavement itself, are all suddenly encased in glistening ice.

All: Freeze Frame!

FREEZE (OVER)
The Bat-allion approaches. Icemen. Attack.

Tom: But we're on break!

FREEZE'S TRUCK bursts through the mists, BLASTING down the frozen river on blades, two pairs of icemen hanging from tail lines on skis, machine guns BLAZING.

Crow: So many bullets, yet they cant hit three moving targets

BATMAN
Attack plan alpha.
Batman peels left.

Tom makes vroom noise.

ROBIN
Alpha. Roger.
Robin peels right.

Tom makes vroom noise.

BATGIRL
Alpha. Got it. (a beat) What the hell is attack plan Alpha?

All shrug

ROBIN
Divide and conquer.

Crow: Ah. Military talk.

Robin is flying downriver. One pair of icemen sweep out alongside the truck, heading towards Robin's billowing craft, guns FIRING.A second pair of skiing icemen whip towards Batgirl, their guns SPITTING rounds of shells into the ice around her. Side mounted rocket launchers FIRE towards the Bathammer, BLOWING holes in the ice.Batman maneuvers, managing to swerve around the sudden, steaming pools. He GUNS the TURBOS, heading straight for the truck.The two icemen bearing down on Robin release their tethers, converging on the Batsled, guns FIRING madly.

Tom: And yet bullets are not deadly to our heroes!

ROBIN
Tack.

Mike: y

Robin pulls the boom and the sail LUFFS. His boat suddenly changes course and the two skiers COLLIDE, flying onto the ice.
ROBIN
Boy, I hope Freeze hires these guys by the dozen.

Crow groans.

BATGIRL
Nice extras package.

Tom: Does she even have her license?

PANEL - CLOSE. Barbara selects a setting called Ice Cutter.

Mike: Oh, a beer.

THE BATBLADE scythe peels back, revealing a sharper blade.
BATGIRL
That's what I call a close shave.

Crow: Alicia Silverstone for gillette!

Batman races past the sinking truck, Icemen crawling to safety.
BATMAN
Don't sink and drive.

Mike: We need Noel Coward to punch up the dialogue here.

EXT. FROZEN RIVERBR
Under the pulse of Freeze's BEAMS hitting the city, the Batvehciles fire TURBOS, closing in on the Observatory.
INT. GOTHAM OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE PLATFORM - NIGHT
Freeze tilts his gun down towards the frozen river below.
FREEZE
Not so fast. Time you cooled your heals.

Tom: Hot foot!

Freeze FIRES.

Crow: Bang!

EXT. FROZEN RIVER - NIGHT
The frozen channel ahead of the bat-force is hit by the FREEZING RAY. A giant wall of rock-hard ice forms, block- ing the river.

Mike: Oops.

INT. BATHAMMER - NIGHT
Batman hits a console stud marked: EMERGENCY BURN.
EXT. FROZEN RIVER
The Bathammer engines ROAR, the Bathammer BLOWING straight through the frozen wall in an EXPLOSION of ice.
THE BADTBLADE and the BATSLED shoots up the face of the ice wall on either side of the Bathammer, soaring over the top of the mountain of snow.

Tom: Theres an easier way to learn to ski.

EXT. BATSLED - FLYING
ROBIN
Youwsa! Nothing but air.

Crow: You're telling us?

EXT. BATBLADE - FLYING
BATGIRL
(to the old 's Batman theme) Batgirl, Baatgirl, Baatgirl.

All: Fatgirl!

EXT. FROZEN RIVER
The Batsled and the Batblade hit the ice running, WHIPPING in alongside the speeding Bathammer.The Batvehicles BLAST towards the Observatory. INT. OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE PLATFORM - NIGHT
Freeze stares at a monitor. The bat-team is now below the observatory, at the base of the giant ice cliffs.

Tom: Popsicles!

FREEZE
Mr. Bane, I'll finish off the city. You, as they say in showbiz, are on. Take the boys and kill the kids. But bring me the Bat.
BATMAN (OVER)
We have eleven minutes to stop Freeze And thaw the city.

Mike: Then you chop the vegatables....

EXT. ICE CLIFFS - NIGHT
Three tiny figures scale the ice using pitons and ropes. PUSH IN.
BATGIRL
This is easy.
ROBIN
Crimefighter's rule number one:
never say that.
BATGIRL
Why?

Crow: Just cause.

THE LEDGE ABOVE THEM. Suddenly a score of ice-climbing thugs pour over the edge on ropes, sliding down, FIRING their guns madly.
ROBIN
That's why.

Mike:(as Batgirl) Geez, sorry I asked!

A SHOOTER comes flying down a rope straight towards them, guns BLAZING. Robin swings wide on his rope, grabbing Batgirl, pulling her out of the line of fire. They hit a snow bank and roll.
BATGIRL
Does this mean we're going steady?

Crow: Eh.

Four figures land on the snow beside them. Icemen, guns drawn.
EXT. ICE CLIFFS - NIGHT
Batman uses batpitons to pull himself up onto a ledge just below the Observatory. That's when another wave of Icemen descend on him from the mists. Batman reaches for a batarang. A beat. Then he smiles.
BATMAN
Let's do this the old-fashioned way.

Tom: And that would be?

Batman leaves his batarang belted, begins wailing on the Icemen using only his hands and feet, flying back fists, and spinning roundhouse kicks felling the thugs one after another.
EXT. ICE CLIFFS - NIGHT
Robin and Batgirl move back to back, surrounded now by a band of Icemen. Robin notices a heavily cantilevered overhang of snow.

Mike: Wow, we can make snowcones.

ROBIN
Crimefighter's rule number two.
BATGIRL
I'm afraid to ask.

Crow: Me oo

ROBIN
Be ready for anything.

Tom: That's boy scouts!

Robin puts his hands together and YELLS.

All make yodeling noises

The ECHO shoots up the hill. A tremendous RUMBLING comes back down, the overhang of snow dumping on several Icemen.
Robin does a standing backflip into the Thugs behind him.
Batgirl goes down, taking out several more with a deft leg sweep.
BATGIRL
(kicks a thug) Pow! (punches another) What! (backhands a third) Kazow!
ROBIN
(fighting) What exactly are you doing?

Mike: Looks like she saw the original show sometime.
BATGIRL
I don't know. It just feels right.

Tom: It looks stupid so stop already.

Batgirl and Robin begin fighting their way through the Icemen up towards the Observatory.
INT. OBSERVATORY - NIGHT
Batman pulls himself up onto the aperture ledge as Robin and Batgirl climbs in from the other side. The giant chamber is empty, the telescope still aimed at Gotham.
BATMAN
No sign of the snowman.

Crow: No sign of freeze, though someone wrote his name in the snow over there.

ROBIN
Maybe he melted.

Mike: We can only hope.

Batman SHOOTS a batgrapple into the ceiling, swings across the room, dropping two bat-charges at the feet of the frozen Scientists, continues his swing landing on the telescope platform.BATGIRL AND ROBIN swing onto the Telescope platform to join Batman.THE BAT CHARGES begin to glow, their radiating heat starting to melt the Scientists.

Crow: Wow, they need a vacation.

BATGIRL
I hope you've got about ten million more of those little toys.

Tom: Check the Toys r us, they will have a surplus.

Batgirl points at the control console clock.

Crow: (as Tattoo from Fantasy Island) De Plane Boss! De Plane!

ROBIN
Eight more minutes and a city full of Gothamites are ice cubes forever.

Mike: But the cabbies will be unaffected.

BATMAN
Sunlight could reverse the freezing process.
BATGIRL
Sunrise isn't for five hours.
BATMAN
Here.
ROBIN
But it's morning in the Congo.

Tom: Go home boy! It's past your curfew!

Batman points to a screen showing a graphic represent- tation of the satellites in orbit.

Mike: Ah the sattelitte channel is back up

BATMAN
If we could relay the sunlight-
ROBIN
From the other side of the equator-
BATGIRL
It'll take the satellites about a minute to re-align, but...damn!

Crow: She dont get it.

ROBIN
Damn? Damn is not good.

Tom: He's bright that boy.

BATGIRL
Those targeting mirrors are frozen. The sun beam won't work.

Crow: She'll never be able to check her makeup now.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL TWO SMALL MIRRORS sitting on the telescope barrel. Both are encased in ice.
BATMAN
I'll set the telescope. You two thaw the mirrors.

Mike: With what?

Batgirl and Robin race out onto the telescope, each pulling a laser from their utility belts.
BATGIRL
I love this belt. Can I get a matching handbag?
Their LASERS FLARE. Batgirl and Robin begin thawing the mirrors.BATMAN goes to the main console, begins working the keyboard.

Tom: Ok, what do I do here?

BATMAN
Who ever thought Aunt Harriet's typing lessons would lead to this?

Crow: Who thought anything would lead to this.

EXT. EARTH - VIEW FROM SPACE
Satellite thrusters FIRE. The giant orbital mirrors begin to turn.

Tom: The Discovery Channel!

INT. OBSERVATORY
MONITOR - CLOSE. Graphic satellites begin to adjust. TARGETING flashes over a blinking graphic of Gotham A digital clock reads.
BATMAN - POV. As he aims the telescope. The skyline through the crosshairs is suddenly obscured by a blur as Freeze drops from the rafters onto the telescope, his face now visible in the targeting scope.

FREEZE
Tonight's forecast... (smiles) ...a freeze is coming!

Crow: Be a little frost on the pumpkin-head.

Freeze grabs Batman and hurls the caped crusader up over his head onto the telescope barrel, using his free hand to yank the telescope control joystick. The telescope tilts sharply downward. BATGIRL AND ROBIN tumble down the telescope barrel, rolling towards the lens and the drop TO the city below. BATMAN tumbles, rights himself, spins.BATMAN - POV. Freeze is climbing towards the control console. Batgirl and Robin are rolling towards the end of the telescope. No way to get both. A beat. Batman rushes towards Freeze.

Mike: What was that?
Crow: Beats me.

EXT. OBSERVATORY
Batgirl and then Robin tumble off the end of the telescope, dropping towards the city below.

Tom: Bungee!

INT. OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE PLATFORM
Freeze has reached the main telescope control. He hits a switch.MONITOR - CLOSE. Graphic satellites blink red under the flashing message: TARGET LOCK DISABLED.

Crow: Whoop. Problem.

EXT. SPACE
THRUSTERS quit as the satellites stop turning.
INT. OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE
Batman is struggling up the slope of the telescope towards Freeze.Freeze pulls the control level. The telescope begins to tilt and spin madly, the ambient condensation creating an indoor snowstorm.Batman goes down, hanging from the telescope frame.

Tom: Monkey man
Mike: I'll hang out here for a while.

EXT. OBSERVATORY
BATGIRL is plummeting towards the city below. Robin is falling a couple of feet above her. He FIRES a bat tether over his head.ROBIN'S GRAPPLE secures in a glacier-like overhang. ROBIN reaches down for Batgirl as Batgirl reaches up towards him.
INT. OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE
Batman flips himself back up onto the wildly spinning telescope, advancing on Freeze and the control console.

BATMAN
Millions will die so you can save on air conditioning. Isn't that taking self help a little too far?

Crow: Yeah.

Freeze draws his pistol.
FREEZE
We aim to... (fires) ...Freeze.
Batman deflects the blast with his suit armor.

Tom makes "ding" noise

FREEZE
That's new. Let's swing.

Crow: (as Frank Sinatra) Swing baby

Freeze smashes the control joystick to the stop, the telescope's spin accelerating, swinging towards... THE TWO SCIENTISTS have finally melted, stand drenched on the Tower Platform, the massive Telescope now careening towards them.
SCIENTIST
This just isn't my day.

Mike: No complaining!

THE TELESCOPE SMASHES directly into the TOWER PLATFORM The platform begins to topple.
ASSOCIATE
Up, up and away.

Tom: Going up Mr Tyler!

As the platform falls CRASHING onto the floor below, the two PhDs leap, landing safely on the swinging telescope, hanging on to the tensioning bar for dear life.
SCIENTIST
PhDs rule!

Crow: Whatever, I don't understand smart people.

FREEZE is thrown by the impact of the telescope hitting the tower into the Telescope Platform rail, his gun falling to his feet.
EXT. OBSERVATORY
Robin's hand is inches from Batgirl's, the city coming up fast.

Mike: Pull my finger!

INT. OBSERVATORY - TELESCOPE CONTROL PLATFORM
Freeze is scrambling for his gun. Suddenly a figure looms above him. Batman.Freeze draws. Batman kicks the gun out of his hand. The two begin to fight on the twirling platform. A battle of titans.
BATMAN
You've turned Gotham to ice. (a right) You've endangered countless lives. (a left) It's payback time.

Crow: (as Arnold) Ok but do you accept plastic?

Batman KNOCKS Freeze with a mighty punch, hurling him onto the back of the telescope. Batman turns towards the console, TYPING commands.

Tom: I want to finish my tetris game first!

MONITOR - CLOSE. TARGETING. Graphic satellites flash green. Clock reads: THE MIRRORS overhead open, beginning to glow with ambient sunlight.Freeze SCREAMS at the emerging light, leaping onto Batman, sending the caped crusader sprawling onto the barrel of the telescope. He advances on the fallen bat. Freeze kicks Batman hard in the face, the hero rolling down the telescope towards the opening and Gotham beyond.
EXT. OBSERVATORY
Robin grabs Batgirl's hand as Batgirl FIRES a batarang from her wrist. Robin's tether pulls taught, the boy wonder holding Batgirl dangling over the city.
ROBIN
I've got you.

All: I got you babe.

ROBIN'S GRAPPLE rips free from the melting ice. BATGIRL'S GRAPPLE hits the metal roof above. Holds firm. ROBIN'S line tears free, Robin falling as Batgirl's tether pulls tight, Batgirl now holding Robin dangling above Gotham.
BATGIRL
No. I've got you.

All: I got you babe!

She pulls him eye level. The two hang suspended, face to face.

Mike: Chris you got a million eye boogers, you know.

INT. OBSERVATORY
Batman is tumbling towards the open slat and Gotham below. He slows his fall, stopping on the barrel.

Crow: Ally oop.

VOICE (OVER)
Wow. Batman.I've seen you on TV.

Mike: You're much slimmer in person.

BATMAN - POV. Freeze is heading back to the control panel.
BATMAN
Nice to meet you. Can you give me any more height on this thing?
The Scientist reaches down to a red EMERGENCY lever.
SCIENTIST
Going up.

Tom: Put your seats in their uprright position.


He pulls the lever and the telescope tilts straight up, sending Batman soaring into the air towards the dome above.Batman flips in mid air, dives, SMASHING directly into Freeze, the villain CRASHING over the edge of the control platform and into the freezing engine.THE MIRRORS overhead align, the beams of sunlight hitting the freezing engine.Freeze is struck by the rays, the sun penetrating his damaged suit.THE TELESCOPE activates, a powerful THAWING BEAM shooting from it's giant lens.Batman turns to Freeze, the villain beginning to gray and wither.

Mike: I'm melting, melting!

BATMAN
You're loosing your cool
FREEZE
I think not. There'll be no hot time in this old town tonight. (pulls a remote) You'll get a charge out of this.

Tom: So he DOES take plastic.

He presses a button. As Freeze rolls out of the sunlight, falling towards the floor below, CHARGES around the tele- scope base EXPLODE.The TELESCOPE tilts, dropping out of the open slat towards Gotham, taking a chunk of observatory floor with it.
EXT. OBSERVATORY
Robin and Batgirl are just pulling themselves onto an ice ledge beneath the dome slat as the giant telescope carrying Batman and the two Scientists plummets over them towards the city below.

Mike: Gotta go now!

ROBIN
Now that's what I call an exit.
BATGIRL
(looking past Robin) Please tell me he's on our side.

Crow: He's not on your side.

A figure steps out from behind the ice. BANE Robin coils, leaps into a spinning roundhouse, but Bane KNOCKS him away, the boy wonder flying hard into the snow. The monster begins advancing on Batgirl.

Tom: Girlie, come with me.

EXT. TELESCOPE - FALLING
Batman slides down the telescope towards the two Scientists, simultaneously FIRING a double ended bat-tether, two grapples SHOOTING horizontaly into the air.
EXT. OBSERVATORY BATGRAPPLES - CLOSE. Sink into the arms of the giant sculpture holding up the Observatory just as the telescope plummets past.

Crow: That'll do it.

EXT. OBSERVATORY - ICE LEDGE
Robin shakes off the blow, looks up to see Batgirl fending off Bane with a fast series of punches and kicks. She might as well be hitting steel.

Tom: (as Batgirl) Oh! Broke a nail!

BATGIRL
(to Robin) Don't worry. I've got him.

Crow: You can have him

Just then Bane SLAMS her into an ice wall by the throat, rears back with his fist, about to deliver the killing blow.
ROBIN
No. I've got him.
Robin leaps, ripping off the tubes leading from Bane's injector pack to his skull, venom spraying wildly into the air.Bane hits the snow, writing, as the venom effect is reversed. His muscles shrink, his form diminishing until he is again a scrawny prisoner, struggling in the folds of his costume.

Tom: Doh! The boys actually thinking.

ROBIN
You should get that suit taken in. No one's buying baggy anymore.

All: Groan.

EXT. TELESCOPE - FALLING
The ground is rushing up below them.
BATMAN
Grab my belt and hang on.

Mike:(as scientist) I'm sorry grab you what?

The Scientists each grab one side of Batman's utility belt. THE CABLE pulls taught, slowing Batman's fall, the telescope dropping from under them as the cable bends like a bow, Batman and the Scientists sinking at its center. The cable reaches its nadir over an outcropping of rock on the cliff. Below the telescope EXPLODES into the frozen river.
BATMAN
This is your stop.

Tom: Good then let us go.

Batman pushes the Scientists onto the ledge, the reduced weight SHOOTING the cable taught, ROCKETING Batman up towards the dome like an arrow.
INT. OBSERVATORY
Batman flips in through the telescope slat, followed immediately by Batgirl and Robin, all landing together on the observatory floor.
ROBIN
Winded, old timer?
BATMAN
Don't make me kill you in front of the girl.

Tom: (As Batgirl) Oh by all means, go ahead.

BATGIRL
It's midnight. The telescope's gone. There's no way to thaw the city.

Mike: Oh well, another day, another popsicle.

BATMAN
Theoretically, the satellites could be positioned to thaw the city directly. But it would take a computer genius.

Crow: But how lucky could they get?

ROBIN
I'm on it.
Robin clears the rubble from a fallen console, begins to type. Nothing. The equipment is dead.
BATGIRL
(shouldering him aside) No. I'm on it.

Tom: Please dont fight.

She quick patches a couple of broken wires, the console lighting up, WHIRRING to life. Begins hacking.
BATGIRL Ms. Genius. Madame Genius. Her Geniusness. Which sounds better?

Mike: Ms Putz sounds good.

EXT. EARTH - VIEW FROM SPACE
The giant orbital satellites finally align. A full disk of the sun appears in the mirror, beamed from one to the next and then the next, the beam cutting downward towards.

Tom: Third rock is on!

EXT. GOTHAM SKYLINE
The giant rays of focused sunlight begin warming the city.

All sing "It's a beautiful morning."

EXT. OBSERVATORY - NIGHT
Rays of light hit the Observatory, melting the ice covered stone.
INT. OBSERVATORY FLOOR
Batman walks over to Freeze who lies amidst the rubble, weak and gray with the growing heat, straining to BREATHE.

Crow: (As Arnold) My evil plan has taken a bad turn.

FREEZE
Go on, kill me too. Just as you killed my wife.
BATMAN
I didn't kill your wife.

Tom: It was the one armed man!

Batman presses a button on his utility belt.
BATMAN
Run Ivy evidence tape ..

Mike: This is no time for stupid things.

BATMAN'S GAUNTLET - CLOSE. A tiny monitor shows an image of Poison Ivy.
IVY (OVER)
As I told Lady Freeze when I pulled her plug, this is a one woman show.

Crow: Seen it, hated it.

FREEZE SCREAMS his rage. His face streams with frozen tears, like tiny diamonds.
BATMAN
But she's not dead, Victor. We found her, restored her icy slumber.

Mike: Youo can pick her up at the tasty freeze.

BATMAN'S GAUNTLET MONITOR shows Mrs. Fries restored in cryogenic slumber.
BATMAN
She's still frozen, Victor, alive, waiting for you to find a cure. I know what it's like to lose everything you've ever loved. But vengeance isn't power. Any two-bit thug with a gun can take a life. To give life, that's true power, a power you once had. I don't know if you'll ever find a cure for your wife. But I'm asking you now, Doctor Victor Fries, to save another life. Show me how to cure McGregor's Syndrome Stage One. And maybe you can also save the man your wife once loved. He's still inside you, buried somewhere deep beneath the snow. Will you help me? Doctor?

Mike: Hello?

Freeze stares at Batman. Finally he unseals his chestplate, removes two glowing power orbs, holds them out, his smile, bittersweet.
FREEZE
Take two of these and call me in the morning.

Tom:Great, hes a pharmacy.
Crow: Hey it hurts when I do this, what do I do?
Mike: Don't do that

INT. WAYNE MANOR - ALFRED'S QUARTERS - NIGHT
Robin and Batgirl watch as Batman attaches the modified power sources from Freeze's suit to Alfred's life-support.

Mike: Gatorade?

BATMAN
All we can do now is wait. (takes Alfred's hand) And hope.

Crow: The movie ends.

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM CELL - NIGHT
Ivy sits in the barred moonlight, staring out the window, holding a small flower in her hand, pulling the petals out one by one.

Mike: Flower power taking a powder.
Tom: doh!

IVY
He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. he loves me...
VOICE(OVER)
Not.

Crow: Shes got daisys on the brain.
Mike: Thats not all.

A figure stands cloaked in shadows. He steps forward. Mr. Freeze.

Tom: Ah hello Arnold

FREEZE
(off his suit) It's amazing what you can buy around here for a few dozen diamonds.
Freeze begins coming towards her, menacingly.
FREEZE
Prepare for a bitter harvest. Winter has come at last.
IVY
Not good.

Mike: When did she figure that out.

EXT. WAYNE MANOR - DAWN

Tom: Morning breaks on the great old building.
Crow makes tweeting noises.

A PILE OF PIZZA BOXES - CLOSE

Mike: Ah, none left for us.
Crow: Shucks.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL
INT. WAYNE MANOR - LIVING ROOM - DAWN
(OVER) a THROAT CLEARS. LOUDER.
All look up. Alfred is descending the stairs. Scowling.

Mike: (as Alfred) I'm gonna have to fire the maid.

BRUCE
Alfred, are you...?

Tom: Alfred?

ALFRED
Rather disappointed at how poorly I taught you proper housekeeping. (a beat) And quite well, it seems. Thanks to you, son. Thanks to you all.
The three move to him. A family reunion. Dick turns to Bruce.

Crow: Group hug.

DICK
One question. When Batgirl and I rolled off the telescope, how come you didn't try and save us? It was the first time I fell and you weren't there to catch me.
BRUCE
I knew you could handle it.

Tom: He was so looking forward to him being dead.

Barbara CLEARS her throat. Dick shoots her a look.

Crow: (as Barbara) What am I, chopped liver?

BRUCE
Sometimes counting on someone else is the only way to win.
BARBARA
Hey, I'm the one who kicked Ivy's botanical butt. Personally. Me. I did.

Mike: Don't quit your day job.

BRUCE
You are going back to school.

Mike: Even better

DICK
You're never going to win this argument, Bruce.
All:(sing) Don't bring me down.....BRuccccccccce! Dont bring me downnnnnnnnnnn

Barbara extends her hand.

Tom: See? No wedding ring

BARBARA
Partners?
BRUCE & DICK
Partners.
ALFRED We're going to need a bigger cave.

Crow: (as Barbara) It's good you brought that up uncle... I been needing to talk about closet space.

EXT. BATSIGNAL - NIGHT
Three costumed avengers race into the night.

Mike: Run away from the movie!

FINAL FADE TO BLACK

Tom: Lets get out of this dog.


Go back to the desk area.

1

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws